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Should I send the ex-girlfriend the old cards and letters she sent years ago?

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Asked By: josielechat 41-45, F  1 year ago

That sounds mean and bitchy and maybe insecure right? My husband doesn't really want them, he just saves everything. But the reason I want to send them back is because they didn't actually "date" very long in their relationship, they were "friends" at the request of my guy. (I wasn't in the picture then). Carol continued to profess her love as a "friend"...even calling him her very best friend (hello, hinting at the advice, marry your best friend). She wrote him over and over they would be friends for life, soulmate friends, etc. They fell out of touch over 10 years ago. She blew off a visit (they did not live close), and he didn't hear from her much after that. He moved on..he's married with a child. From what info we have, she doesn't seem to have built much of a life. She doesn't accept any contact on linked in or facebook. Ok, she never got over him.
But she also promised lifelong friendship. I want her to see her own words...or did she lie about her friendship?

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1 Answer to "Should I send the ex-girlfriend the old cards and letters she sent years ago?"

  1. Dave002 - 56-60 years old - male

    Posted by Dave002 Feb 8th, 2012 at 9:11AM

    Why open old wounds? Burn the letters (etc) and let sleeping dogs lie. What you want to do really serves no purpose, except to stir up shite.

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  2. josielechat - 41-45 years old - female

    Reply by josielechat Feb 8th, 2012 at 2:44PM

    I know, I know. I was venting more than anything. But the point is...while women will sometimes whine about their broken hearts...they're sometimes abusing a "friendship". He didn't say he loved her...he said they were friends. And when SHE didn't get what SHE wanted....she dumped on their friendship. He's a person too...and he was diappointed that his friend wasn't really his friend. So guess what? he's exchanged a couple of emails with her recently. This is with full "disclosure" to me. He forwarded me both her emails and his responses. It's not like they're steamy or suggestive. But...while she was boring and clingy before, now she's just boring. But at least this person who swore they would be friends for life and then dumped him now is "honoring" her words. And he gets to see has the reality of who she is....no illusions about the past and what went wrong. THIS is who she is...and isn't he glad he didn't give into the pressure to make their friendship into more and even marry her. (yes, some friends and family who knew what she wanted tried to pressure him to make it serious and marry her---the jerks) So maybe once a month he'll drop a line, "how were your holidays" etc., and she responds. This version of moving on I think is better than living in partial memories that distort the truth. I prefer the truth to illusions.

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  3. Dave002 - 56-60 years old - male

    Reply by Dave002 Feb 8th, 2012 at 3:50PM

    Your husband sounds like a good man. He has been honorable above board with you. He evidently still has some misplaced loyalty to their friendship. He'll sort it out. Maybe his best course is just to delete her E-mails without responding. She'll get the hint.

    Like (1)

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