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dsuzy dsuzy 36-40, F 20 Answers Dec 14, 2013 in Dating & Relationships

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Ponder this: you have been thinking of leaving for 13 yrs--ergo, unhappy for 13 yrs--tolerable right--not that bad so you have stayed. The q is, are you prepared to remain in this state indefinitely? What you are avoiding is the intense pain/chaos/turmoil that comes with a split--the intensity of which dissipates over time (usually on avg about 2 yrs). Then, freedom and peace abound. That has been my experience anyhow. Is it worth it? Now that I have been through it--ABSOLUTELY! Did I think so in the beginning of that split with the pain etc? No. But inevitably I am so much happier now than I could have ever been while remaining in the unhappiness. The choice is yours. It is scarey I know. But I will tell you, it is so worth it being now on the other side. Good luck.

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Best answer! :)

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I have to agree with Poet- I'm not enjoying that intense pain/chaos/turmoil at all but I know it's the right path for me right now. It's been interesting to me that despite having to see her frequently (our daughter lives with her) there's no desire or interest to try and 'fix' things anymore....it's easier to deal with the loneliness when you're alone than feel it when you're "with" someone.

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Out of thirteen years I only asked this question for two and a half years before I left....if I'd stayed it would have become emptier and more hopeless. Leaving hasn't been easy and I deal with moments of being lost but I'm not missing feeling unappreciated or taken for granted. There'll eventually be someone else that'll make that uncertainty vanish and bring hope back.

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10 years is my limit! Lol! Go already. It will be hardest at first. You can do it!

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If you have to ask, go.

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Stay! Because if you leave and life throws you a curve ball, it would be embarrassing if you have to return. You will forever hear about it. Instead, learn to get what you want via power of persuasion.

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How can we answer this for you?



If you're unhappy .. why continue? Isn't life too short to be miserable?



You deserve better .. don't you think?

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Thirteen years is a long, long time.

You are content to stay then....

Or you would already be gone!

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Well depends on where you are and were you want to go are the two different places! Then it's a no brainier !

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I have left twice and come back.



The truth is that it just passes the time although it has got worse this last year

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You can do both day in and day out.

Just make sure that you come daily.

(insert wicked sexy seductive suggestive enticing inviting inspiring insatiable alluring friendly Playful devilish sympathetic smile)

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Maniac! :)

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*howls*

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Love it

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Then you have begun to feel better.
I am glad that I stopped by then my lady.
Please stay.
Teach him how to recognize faithfulness.
Be the example of loyalty in his life.
And if he can not see that you are a good woman.
Then HE needs to find a new wife.
His choice.
But you shall remain a GOOD woman!

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Stay? For how much longer? Time is lost and can never be regained. Only she can answer for her life. But after 13 years......Seems something needs to change. She can make a decision if she really wants to. Good luck to her. Limbo is a horrid place to live.

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You are suppose to pass through not live there my friend.

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She is living in limbo, PoeticPlay. 13 years.

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In limbo nothing happens.
Something is happening here.
There is growth and knowledge and expectations, strength has grown.
Nothing happens in limbo.
Absolutely nothing.

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5 More Responses

I procastinated for lots of things myself

one of them is talking with others,

learning to stop allowing fears stop me from several things ... but I have lots to do in ending procastinations

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if you stay there will be trouble, if you go it will be double.

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Love it

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Just go!

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are we talking in a marriage, a job, a town, a city. stay or go from what?

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In a relationship, at a job, at your current house?

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stay !!

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