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Should I stay or should I go?

Involved with married(separated woman) for a year. We live together. Estranged husband has been deemed mentally incompetent & is in private home. Gf wants to move back to house for financial & personal reasons - wants me to go too. We have communication problems - I feel brushed to the side on alot of issues. Getting any type of info from her about even little things is like pulling teeth. I tell her how I feel, my fears, etc. & at first she was supportive but now she confronts me if what I'm saying is to break up. I tell her no, but that there are issues we haven't even addressed & she gets evasive about plans or uses excuses. I want to go but am afraid if things go wrong there, I have nothing to fall back on, and out in the cold even more than before. Have talked to her about counselling & she is luke-warm with the idea. Told her I am going to counselling because I am tired of crying. I told her I hope she would too, because I know she hasn't addressed alot of her stufAny thoughts

Posted 3 months ago

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Other 9 Answers to Should I stay or should I go?

RedDragon0214	Posted Aug 5th, 2009 at 12:08PM There is no way that any of us can tell you what you should or should not do. We don't know you, her or the situation. That being said, I'm sure you realize that everyone deals with things differently and it sounds like there is a lot going on with your girlfriend. All I can say is that if you love her you should be patient with her and try to help her through things as best you can. Counseling sounds like a good idea and maybe she should go on her own as well. Good luck. Rated: +1Vote for this!
Gala617	Posted Aug 5th, 2009 at 12:08PM Personally, I wouldn't advise you to go. She has many issues, the first being she is still legally married. She may not want to get a divorce because she can have the house and all that goes w/it, except the annoying husband! When you can't get someone to truelly try and communicate w/you, and doesn't like the idea of counseling, it is all a bunch of red flags. Rated: +1Vote for this!
Crina	Posted Aug 5th, 2009 at 12:09PM If you can't communicate or she is not willing to what sort of relationship do you have? That you are reduced to tears, feel the way you do. Think it is a personal choice if you stay or go, however if she is like this now there is a good chance she will always be this way or worse. You have to ask yourself do I want to live this way? Good luck :) Rated: +1Vote for this!
Angeleyes777	Posted Aug 5th, 2009 at 12:10PM Only a year out of her marraige and already living with someone. that is a bit quick and a recipe for disaster. Maybe living seperately and dating would do you both the world of good and then you would get to know each other in due course. Rated: +1Vote for this!
silkpantygirl	Posted Aug 5th, 2009 at 12:18PM To "males" contemplating Such A Relationship: PLEASE. 'Learn' from this EXPERIENCE ??? Rated: +1Vote for this!
emperorofcali	Posted Aug 5th, 2009 at 12:27PM Nothing to "fall back on"? So you depend on her for shelter as well as all of your emotional pain? No offense, but it sounds like her ex has it better than you right now. The only difference is, he has no choices and you do. Trippy to consider that perspective, isn't it? Anyway, it seems that you have succeeded in creating a prison for yourself and given someone else the role of guard. The fact that you appear to freely express emotion is a good sign for you. The fact that you appear to expect other people to be responsible for helping you is not a good sign at all and will eventually fu(k you. But this is the game you want to play. It's brought you a co-dependent relationship with communication issues. All in exchange for your willpower and sense of self-reliance. I know it doesn't feel like a game to you. This is because if you knew the rules, you wouldn't be losing so badly at it. You know what to do. And the only thing standing in the way is your own fear. Rated: +1Vote for this!
jaylene	Posted Aug 5th, 2009 at 12:30PM You said that you wanted to go and live with her......but that you are afraid that it will not be good and you will be out in the cold. Get your own place....still see her if you want...but get yourself together. Please don't count on someone else to be your sanity. You can be alone and still be okay...there are alot of people in this world, don't get wrapped in someone that has issues they are not willing to resolve. If she is really.........really.......wanting to be with you....she will take care of whatever is going on and want to communicate. Sounds like she has stuff going on that she doesn't want you to know about....WAKE UP.......friend You only have one life....... Get on with it...oh...and you could try staying away from married women.........not much a commitment is ever possible so it is all a bunch of games anyway......... Rated: +1Vote for this!
ShadowofDoubt	Posted Aug 5th, 2009 at 12:47PM You are taking steps in the right direction, seems like this is moving way too fast (reasons stated by others are true). If you're reduced to tears and she's being evasive about things, definitely not a good combo. Rated: +1Vote for this!
sonu222	Posted Aug 11th, 2009 at 2:21AM move on better this way Rated: +1Vote for this!

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