I'm sorry for you cause.. Just don't worry about being stupid or clumsy, it's your mind far to distracted on life and everything your going through..
I tried to kill myself plenty of times, it just doesn't work.. The thing that's forcing you to go forward is time, and it isn't stopping. You're just going to have to soldier on with this load and hope for a better future.
You are in the Hardest Part of Life right Now.You just need to hang in there a few more years and it will get much better. :)
do you want to leave your mom with that? it brake her heart and give her more pain then you will ever know
I don't think you would enjoy being dead, there's no future in it. Besides you'll die soon enough!
First off if you feel this way you need to get help. It might seem like life is such a bad experience but your so young and have so much more to experience and live for. Just get help and don't do something you can never take back.