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It tends to be really cold at my parents' fiancé's home. In the evening we all snuggle under the covers in his parents' bed to watch TV, nothing to it really, though it's not something I've ever done. My future father-in-law is very sweet to me, and I've never thought there was anything inappropriate in his behavior. But the past few times we were in bed, he hugged tightly and stroke my arm. Then he put his hand on my chest which I initially interpreted as a "mistake", not on purpose. But another time it felt like he knew where his hand was, so I just held it in mine. I didn't go into their bed for a while, because I was a little uncomfortable about the whole thing, and didn't know what to make of it. Then last night, my fiancé's father told me to come sit with him, on the bed, my fiancé was outside, and he pulled up the covers so I went into the bed, and after a couple of minutes I felt his hand under my shirt on my skin. What should I do now apart from staying away?
Andrea78M Andrea78M 36-40, F 10 Answers Apr 24 in Dating & Relationships

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Holy Cow! That is really tough because you'll be stuck with father-in-law for good once you're married, but telling your fiance could make real family problems. I am so sorry you are in this position! <br />
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I think you have to confront your father-in-law and straight up tell him that he cannot treat you that way, it's unappreciated and uncalled for and it makes you uncomfortable! Then, if he doesn't stop you have to decide whether to tell your fiance or just avoid being around his dad, (which he will probably notice and ask you about eventually).<br />
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Whatever you decide to do has got to be done and settled before the wedding! You can't keep this under wraps for your whole life.<br />
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I wish you all kinds of luck, and I'm sending good vibes your way, be strong!

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Thanks... :-)

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It's weird that all of you "snuggle" in the bed together. Yes, tell him!

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I know it's weird, but it wasn't twisted, the mom and my bf were there, didn't feel awkward... then when the mom left and my bf went for a call or something, that's when...

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Well tell him! I know you may feel like you are gonna be "ruining everything" but he needs to know. I rather tell him them have to be uncomfortable around his dad for the rest of my marriage.

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Yeah, but I think he'll either not believe it or be so mad at his dad!

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Thank you all for your input and pieces of advice. It's the first time I've come to this kind of place, I was alone and didn't know who to turn to, so thanks a lot, it helped!

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You should talk to your fiance about it. He need to know, so you don't have to lie to get out of an uncomfortable situation.

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I'm just worried he won't believe me or be so mad at his dad it'll make such a mess!

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Think it through. Do you want to be married to a guy that won't believe you? Would you be married into a family that acts like his dad?
You can try talking to his dad first, but I understand if that's too scary. But there is no way you two can get married if you're not honest about this now.

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tell the fiance and stop going to bed with his dad. his dad open the door and you stepped in. tell the fiance that too.

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Of course I stopped! Last night was the first time in ages! and I left immediately! But telling my bf might cause so many problems...

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I would say in a light/joking way, "I think your dad just hit on me. Did he have too much to drink?" to your fiance.<br />
Avoid the dad. Its okay to tell him not to touch you, or to refuse to sit by him. You don't have to justify or explain yourself.

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Actually he doesn't drink alcohol at all! :)
Yes, I'm avoiding him... but it's a little weird...

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Agreed. I would maybe stop watching TV with them under the covers. Too creepy considering.

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Yeah.... shame, he was really sweet at first!

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Ummm Ive never heard of a family with people over 15 year olds under the covers together. I would think you enjoyed it for some reason. There is something weird about the whole thing. I would just go with it

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I know, it's odd, but like I said, more of a thing because it's freezing.
You would go with it? What do you mean??

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jerk him off ..or something like that. it's totally weird and would think your fiancee knows or has has experience with it.

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??????????????? are you insane??

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well if you tell your fiancee....he probably kinda knows doent you think? I mean I bet that groping behavior is common to him. So chances are he might think you are being out of line. Besides what's so bad about a father in law always on your side.

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THAT IS SICK< DUDE! she does't need to hear that kind of stuff and you are an AxxHOxx to post it!

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I'm supposing you have talked to the "father-in-law" to be. Sounds like the conversation needs to be had with him.

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No, I haven't talked to him. What could I tell him??

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To leave you alone. Blunt and straightforward. If that's what you want.

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Of course, I just don't wanna cause any trouble between them all!

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Tell your boyfriend , you never know he might be in on it

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If I tell him, he'll either say I'm misunderstanding the whole thing, or get so mad at his dad, don't want to cause problems.

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So are you going to let daddy inlaw molest you every time he visits

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Molest?? I don't think it's that bad... am I being totally naive here??

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People have had to regester as sex offenders for less than feeling a boob , you are being very naive , what's next hands down the knickers , he's not going to stop , if he thinks he can get away with it he will try more **** on

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Sweetie- you HAVE to take some kind of action! You can't leave yourself in this spot for your whole marriage. Be strong and up front with the dad, just tell him you wont have it! but DO take action!

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And YOU are not the one causing problems!

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thank you...

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okay... thanks...

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Yep! molest is absolutely the word!

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