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My grandma has been divorced from my grandpa for about 18 years. He was abusive and controlling to her. She also has been verbally and physically abusive too. Rape within a family, and in general even between strangers, is always kept as a secret and never talked about. It took a long time for me to find out just how many of my family members were affected, because I never talked about it, and neither did they, some of my cousins were raped too. I don't know if anyone has ever told my grandma, or if she knows but never believed it or what. She is not in the best of health, she's had 3 heart attacks in 20 years, and suffers from anxiety among other illnesses, but she is still active and strong and hanging on and living life, even with her bad heart. I don't want to give her a 4th heart attack by telling her, but it makes me sooooo upset to think that she might NOT know, or might have known, but didn't PROTECT us all, or report it.
loveandbelieve2013 loveandbelieve2013 26-30, F 19 Answers Apr 26, 2013 in Family Struggles

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you may wanna ask your mother why she left him alone with you

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You joined today! Good for you

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Thank you. I was nervous to join. But i read what this site is about. I've been seeing a Christian counselor. The couselor has a stacked schedule and I haven't been brave enough to ask this thought out loud during the few appointments we have had. It's a lot to think about. Have a good weekend.

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You're snagged- trolling must cease

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ask your grandma

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I don't think I would bother to tell her. Chances are extremely high that she already essentially knew but was afraid, unable, or unwilling to do anything at the time. It would be awfully unlikely that with so much rape and molestation taking place that anyone could possibly not know.<br />
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If you were a minor child at the time, you might want to consider filing criminal charges against him. In most states, there is no statute of limitation on the rape of a child.

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Why now<br />
And I promise you she knows<br />
Why do u think shes so ill

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Was the police ever told ? Divorced or not, if he still is involved with your family and might have access to anyone, especially children, that's who needs to be told.

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I've struggled with whether or not to tell people what happened to me, and for me, I decided not to, because no one else is in danger, and because I couldn't see anything positive coming from it. I know other people who have told. <br />
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To me, it really depends on whether or not you think any good will come of it - even if that good is just understanding and people coming together to grow from the trauma.

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Tough call. Recently learned my father inappropriately touched my now-deceased cousin (she died this January). She told me of it after I related my sister's fear that our father molested her. She believes this is so because she cannot remember him during those years at all; it is because she cannot remember him (when my parents were married) that she believes she has blocked it all out. Such criminal acts are difficult to relate, because we sometimes don't want to hear ourselves recount them. It is possible she has come to know of those events, and hasn't told you. I wish you the best:)

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Not unless she told him too/ helped him. He did it not her. Maybe ask ur mom if ur granny knew.<br />
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I have had bad experiences myself (not rape but abuse) and I truly found that I'd rather live in a beautiful lie then know the ugly truth

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yes, u have to told everything clearly to ur grand mother.......i know she understand what u feal........

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In most states there is no statue of limitations on sex crimes against children... I am sure your grandmothers knows, it would be best to report him as most abusers continue to abuse until they are stopped and in jail.

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