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Or should I just accept a failure and move on? I am truly in love with my husband, and he says he's in love with me too. We've been married a year and a half, and have a 9-month old baby together. For the past few months, we haven't been getting along at all. He says I need too much reassurance. (I often want him to remind me that he loves me.) He is extremely nasty and cold to me. He says he's miserable in the marriage. Last night I made him so angry that he bashed himself in the head with the tv remote and said "it's over" and almost left. I begged him to stay, and he did. He says he's not sure if he wants to be with me. I know I want to be with him. But I don't want him to stick around in something if he's not happy. I want to know, should i do what I can to be a better wife and try to make him happy, or should I just give up and let him go?
JacobsGirl360 JacobsGirl360 31-35, F 18 Answers Apr 16, 2009

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So sorry to read your pain. But sweetie a marriage is hard work and always (so long as it is safe) worth the fight for. Try couples counseling, but do it. Don't push if away. He is your love and you his + you have a beautiful tying bond, don't let that go without a fight. Save the love you still have for one another while there is still love.

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MY ADVICE IS SAVE THE MARRIAGE. THE FIRST YEAR CAN BE THE HARDEST. MARRIAGE IS A UNION OF MAN, WOMAN AND GOD! IS GOD IN YOUR MARRIAGE? WHEN MY MARRIAGE WAS ON THE ROCKS I WAS NOT A BELIEVER AND OUR SITUATION WAS JUST AS BAD.. WATCH THE MOVIE "FIREPROOF" ALSO THERE IS A BOOK CALLED "LOVE AND RESPECT" THAT TELLS THE BIBLICAL OBSTACLES FOR MARRIAGE.. MAINLY THAT MAN IS COMMANDED TO LOVE BECAUSE THAT IS WHAT IS AGAINST HIS NATURE. SAME AS A WOMAN IS COMMANDED TO RESPECT BECAUSE THAT IS WHAT IS AGAINST HER NATURE. GOOD LUCK , I WILL BE PRAYING FOR YOU

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SAVE the marriage! <br />
It is worth fighting for. I have been married many decades and you have ups and downs. It gets better with age. The following is some of what helped me:<br />
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THE SECRET OF FAMILY HAPPINESS<br />
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Counsel on how to achieve happiness in the family is offered from all sides. In the West, a never-ending stream of self-help books and magazines offer advice. The problem is that human counselors contradict one another, and what is fashionable counsel today may be viewed as unworkable tomorrow.<br />
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Where, then, can we look for reliable family guidance? Well, would you look to a book completed some 1,900 years ago? Or would you feel that a book like this must be hopelessly out-of-date? The truth is, the real secret of family happiness is found in just such a source.<br />
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That source is the Bible. According to all the evidence, it was inspired by God himself. In the Bible we find the following statement: “All Scripture is inspired of God and beneficial for teaching, for reproving, for setting things straight, for disciplining in righteousness.” (2 Timothy 3:16) In this publication we will encourage you to consider how the Bible can help you to ‘set things straight’ when handling the stresses and problems facing families today.<br />
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If you are inclined to dismiss the possibility that the Bible can help to make families happy, consider this: The One who inspired the Bible is the Originator of the marriage arrangement. (Genesis 2:18-25) The Bible says that his name is Jehovah. (Psalm 83:18) He is the Creator and ‘the Father, to whom every family owes its name.’ (Ephesians 3:14, 15) Jehovah has observed family life since mankind’s beginning. He knows the problems that can arise and has given counsel for solving them.<br />
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Throughout history, those who sincerely applied Bible principles in their family life found greater happiness.<br />
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For example, a housewife in Indonesia was a compulsive gambler. For years she neglected her three children and regularly quarreled with her husband. Then she started to study the Bible. Gradually the woman came to believe what the Bible said. When she applied its counsel, she became a better wife. Her efforts, based on Bible principles, brought happiness to her entire family.<br />
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A housewife in Spain says: “We had been married only a year when we began to have serious problems.” She and her husband did not have much in common, and they spoke little except when they were arguing. Despite having a young daughter, they decided to get a legal separation. Before that happened, though, they were encouraged to look into the Bible. They studied its counsel for married men and women and began to apply it. Before long, they could communicate peacefully, and their small family was happily united.<br />
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The Bible helps older people too. For instance, consider the experience of a certain Japanese couple. The husband was short-tempered and sometimes violent. First, the couple’s daughters began to study the Bible, despite their parents’ opposition. Then, the husband joined his daughters, but the wife continued to ob<x>ject. <br />
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Over the years, however, she noticed the good effect of Bible principles on her family. Her daughters took good care of her, and her husband became much milder. Such changes moved the woman to look into the Bible for herself, and it had the same good effect on her. This elderly lady repeatedly said: “We became a real married couple.”<br />
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These individuals are among the great many who have learned the secret of family happiness. They have accepted the Bible’s counsel and have applied it. True, they live in the same violent, immoral, economically stressed world as everyone else. Moreover, they are imperfect, but they find happiness in trying to do the will of the Originator of the family arrangement. As the Bible says, Jehovah God is “the One teaching you to benefit yourself, the One causing you to tread in the way in which you should walk.”—Isaiah 48:17.<br />
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Although the Bible was completed almost two thousand years ago, its counsel is truly up-to-date. Further, it was written for all people. The Bible is not an American or a Western book. Jehovah “made out of one man every nation of men,” and He knows the makeup of humans everywhere. (Acts 17:26) Bible principles work for everyone. If you apply them, you too will come to know the secret of family happiness.

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Dayenknight.<br />
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There is no point in trying to save a marriage in which one partner is convinced that they are right and will not listen to any other point of view.<br />
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When you are constantly told that you're worthless, it's hard to look in the mirror and tell yourself that you are worth loving........

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yes. Do "The Love Dare"- it has saved thousands of marriages. It's a book. Just google it.

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Fixing a marriage is always better for anyone in my book...divorce is never a solution....it just helps to create a society of angry hurt screwed up people who can hold grudges and volatile tendencies...<br />
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Part of the problem in our throw away society is that if things are not going right the quick answer is get rid of it...no one thinks about fixing things these days...just go buy a new one...<br />
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Well the good news is that you cannot just throw people away....throw kids away from the parents carries huge consequences for their future lives...not seen until they have relationships with responsibility themselves...<br />
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Fix you marriage....its not difficult...<br />
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Realise you both have a few expectations that are a little unrealistic because you are young in marriage and are still working out how to make the ship run smoothly...dont be too hard on each other...cut some slack...relax a little...<br />
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When its a rainy day...the sun is still shining above it....when its stormy outside it passes...dont shift house because of a stupid shower...put up an umbrella !!<br />
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Make allowances for this ...think in terms of "We are on the same side" <br />
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Talk to each other in depth!<br />
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Say to each other ...<br />
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"Lets look at the problems as being outside of you and I so that we can look at it together and work out a solution together " <br />
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(2 heads are better than one head against the other) <br />
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"rather than be opposed to one another and therefore in conflict, thereby making it more difficult to resolve, as each of us is fighting for our own supremacy individually why dont we work together instead"?.......<br />
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Fear causes people to react negatively and running away from a marriage never fixes the problems cos the problems are within each person and go with them to the next relationship only to rise again and again until the root cause is resolved... by getting help to address it...<br />
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However there are some simple things you can do to improve your situation.... find one thing per day to compliment your partner one...look hard there will be hundreds of them...just small things.....for a start he will react predictably and may not trust you....but keep at it...every day...dont look for anything in return....keep at it... its worth the effort...<br />
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This exercise changes the energy fields around you from negative to positive, first around you then him and the rest of the people in your life including family friends and workmates... <br />
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Keep doing it until it becomes habitual...and you will feel much better and your world will change...anxiety and depression cannot exist in this energy...<br />
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To make this happen even faster... add this exercise.... look yourself in the eyes in the mirror each morning and say out loud... " You are worth loving" .... Then repeat "I love you" looking deep into your eyes as you say it.... do it every morning and see how you feel...it may take some time for it to sink in....why? becos its taken each of you a lifetime of telling yourselves you are not worth loving.....and you are not worth fighting for...<br />
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So do it...change this negative spiral...its not difficult but its ohh so powerful...keep doing it ....you have nothing to lose and everything to gain...and it doesn't cost either of you a cent...!!<br />
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Good luck...

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Darlin' loves not supposed to hurt... not physically or emotionally. Originally when I began reading I thought maybe but if he's that against it then maybe it's time to at least try a little apart time. It will either bring you closer or show you that you are a strong and wonderful woman who can make it on her own. Best to you sweets ~ MSP

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One can not make a relationship. If he doesn't want to fight for it then it would be better to let it go. I really don't like saying that. Just me talking, but if he is angry most of the time, then maybe you should find out if he is seeing someone on the side. That would explain his anger. I am not saying it is, But I listen very close to things, that is what I am thinking maybe going on. Much luck to you.<br />
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)))))HUGS((((((

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That's a sad story... You should save your marriage. You are started doing your part. But I think it'll be best if your husband will help you in saving your marriage... Keep on doing it. don't lose hope. For as long as he's with you, there's always a chance to keep your marriage.

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I have no idea! But it seems to me that the baby might want you to give it a try. Here is the one overriding truth that I've learned after 27 years of marriage. Accept him and love him completely as he is. Don't try to change him. Don't expect him to ever be in any way like you, in his thoughts, his feelings or his behavior. See how that works.

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There are several warning signs here, the fact that he bashed the remote into his head could be a warning sign of things that have the potential to get further out of control. The second warning sign is that you have to ask others their opinions as to weather you should stay in your marriage or not is an indication that you want out. We can not answer a question such as this, you are the only one who can determine if you want to stay married and if this guy is worth the effort that it will take. Be certain that any marriage will take considerable work, however if the people involved are seriously committed to the marriage and each other, not to mention the child, it can work.

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friend...........<br />
don't let him go<br />
please try to understand his feelings<br />
don't think u r educated and u should not obey him order, obey all his words , please be a slave to him then only u r family will be happy always.<br />
u r nine month baby will grow then she will ask where is my dady means what u will say ?<br />
show the feelings on u r husband , what ever u r husband do mistake think that u r child did mistake<br />
consider u r husband as u r own child<br />
please don't waster u r life , don't waste u r child life.<br />
please please don't spoil u r life , don't let to go<br />
god bless u................

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If you don't try, you'll never know.

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Just try and remember and get your husband to remember why you two fell in love in the first place.<br />
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Organize an outing for the two of you, if it means an afternoon away from your baby. It will be worth it in the long run, where you will both be in the same household raising your child. Sometimes you have to make sacrifices to keep the things you love. If you are both still in love with each other, there shouldnt be a reason why yous can't stay together.<br />
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Sit and talk with him, and see what exactly is his issue. Reflect on your own actions, and things that you could maybe change in order to keep him happy. But make him do the same also, to keep you, your relationship and your child happy for a long time to come.<br />
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All the best ;)

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Well, If you love him it's going to be hard but you have to be strong. <br />
You have to let him know your in it to win it, and are willing to play no more games. You can't love somone who does not love you. <br />
You never miss a good thing until it's gone. So if it takes you to leave (not for good) just long enough for him to get the point.<br />
You deserve to be treated like a queen and should not tolerate anything less.

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