Should my boyfrend get his ex a mothers day gift from thier 11 yr old.?

Yes, he should do this. I can understand why he would really not want to buy her a gift after her appalling behaviour. But this isnot about him - it is about their child.

If possible, your boyfriend should take his son with him and let the son pick out a gift (within an acceptable price range) and his Dad just pay for it.

If his son isn't able to do that with his Dad, either send the child the money to buy a gift, or talk to him on the phone and agree on something "for Mum". Probably something simple like flowers or chocolates . . .

Your boyfriend will be doing the right thing by his child if he does this - and that is the ONLY thing that matters.

He should support his child's desire to celebrate mother's day and provide him with the means and opportunity to get his mother a gift. He can earn the $ through work/chores. It is hard to do when there is so much bad history ...but maybe he can feel good about taking the high road.

He doesnt HAVE to. He is committed to his child, not her. Maybe have his kid draw a picture or color in a coloring book and have that be the mothers day gift. That way he is not having to spend money or time getting a gift, but the kid still feels like they are participating in mothers day.