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JenLuckBuckle JenLuckBuckle 22-25, F 24 Answers Dec 28, 2012 in Depression

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You're making it sound like we're a controversial, dangerous animal. We have equal rights.

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hahahahahahahaha! That is so true. I often talk about stuff like this with my counselor and she constantly reminds me that have GAD and MDD are just parts of me...but not the WHOLE me. I need to stop viewing myself as a controversial, dangerous animal.

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Of course. If crazies were not allowed to marry and mate, almost no women would marry and mate.

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lmao

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Why the hell not? I think we have equal rights to be in relationships. Regulating such a personal choice is downright dictatorial and highly discriminating.<br />
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As for having children...<br />
I'm not entirely sure. I for myself have schizophrenia, and as my mom's side of the family is schizotypal it's most likely hereditary. My partner has mental illness as well, and I'm not sure I would want to bring a child into this world if it has to suffer like I have done. Also, because of my condition I'm not sure I would be a reliable parent. <br />
These are things anyone with a mental condition should take into account before having kids... as should everyone with a "physical" condition. <br />
A) will I cause suffering to my child by passing this on, and <br />
B) Can I be a good parent while dealing with my issues. <br />
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Still I don't think regulation should exist for this. It's a personal choice, and I just hope people (not just people with MI, people in general) think things through before they reproduce.

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Makes sense.

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That would depend on the KIND of "mental illness" and the severity of it.

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Mental health probs or genetically inherited defects? Huge difference!

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equal rights to be in relationships, but equal responsibilities too not to foist your problems/conditions on the next generation of your family

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Yeah. Before I have kids I need to be mentally and physically stable, neither of what I am right now.

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A romantic attachment can be a path to healing, so yes.<br />
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Those who have experienced hardship and not been hardened by it become wiser and more compassionate, so again, yes to mating. Children don't need you to be problem-free, they just need you to love them and do your best, and the best from someone who's experienced mental illness and learned to live with it or get past it is far better than average.<br />
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I think you should hook up and get you some. ;)

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lmao. thanks. :-)

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if people with issues didn't mate, the human race would have ended a long time ago<br />
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so no, they shouldn't.

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Probably not.

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would have to be a very understanding parner which i'am not.wife is autistic

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What made you decide to marry an autistic woman? Did you do anything to try to understand her at all? Is the relationship frustrating? Do you feel any rewards at all?

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not really understanding what it was.they are really great at one thing in general.hers is singing but we agree on nothing.marrage is failing.i hate to leave her she is totally dependent on me.driving,shopping,thinking in general. constent on the worry.she was instutionalise more than four times

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Many people are wired, even with mental illness " must have baby".<br />
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In some cases, it's probably for the greater good not to have children and potentially bring a mentally sick person in the world. To make another suffer as you have suffered.

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you think mentally ill people shouldnt have children? well i hope you know you could be what society accepts as being normal and bring children into this world who are born with a mental illness, just the same as you could be a person of high intellect and have a child born mentally handicap

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Why are you taking my personal opinion so personally? I say it out of much experience with mentally ill people, and mentally retarded people. Mentally retarded people very often, produce mentally handicapped children. I'm not saying it to somehow be mean. I have my opinion because of what I've experienced. To bring a person into the world when you know there is a very high chance to make them suffer by your genetics or possibly by your own mental illness that can lead to mistreatment of the child in SOME cases, it would be for the greater good not to have a child.
I knew many, many damaged children growing up because they had parents, often mentally ill who probably shouldn't have been parents. Many of those children I know today as adults, are still very much damaged, many mentally ill themselves. I find that very sad for them.

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Thank you for explaining what I was thinking too. ;)

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That is exactly what I am afraid of. I also have a sister with MR so I worry (ha ha, since I have an anxiety disorder) about how challenging my offspring would be.

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If I were to get to a point where i'm ready for kids, I think I'd go the same route as my mom. I'd do foster care and try to help kids with problems. I'm very lucky I didn't develop schizophrenia myself(grandfather had it) and I think it's one of those subconscious reasons I don't want kids. At least not any of my own. If anything I would adopt, because so many children need someone to show them people care and they're not just garbage being shuffled from house to house so the food stamp queen can collect her tax free stipend off them. Anyways, I'm off to the gym. I'm not saying people with minor disorders shouldn't have children. Those who mental illness that turns their own life upside down I would hope think very seriously about bringing a child into the world, their own mental illness hurting that human being, before they do or if they do at all.

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2 More Responses

Can you manage it?

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I am not sure, man. I am really not sure.

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When you are sure, then you can find a romantic relationship worth having.

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