Should you always let your children win when your playing a game with them?

Asked By: agnes1977 31-35, F 9 months ago

My son is 8 and I play games with him all the time I even let him make up the scnerios and he tells me what to say or we play a board game I usually mess up and let him win. Even in football I act like I missed the ball so he could win. Well one night we plugged in the Wii and were playing golf. I havent played that game in 5 years. He plays it all the time at his grandparents house. Well I realized I was still good at the game and was pumped when I would get it close to the whole. I even made sure I messed up a bunch so he wouldnt have the pout I'm mad and dissappointed face. Well since he did that I was determined he wasnt gonna win this one so I beat him and was saying woo hoo I won. My boyfriend thinks it was mean of me to win and not cheat. So our son could win... I've sat down a played with him and he kills me 20 times before I can even get my player to stand up... Was I wrong to not let him win? I feel if I let him win all the time hell have no drive to win...

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10 Answers to "Should you always let your children win when your playing a game with them?"

Posted by RickISAmasing Aug 8th, 2012 at 8:39PM

No. Life does not always let you win. Kids need to learn that sometimes you lose but you just have to try harder next time.

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Reply by agnes1977 Aug 8th, 2012 at 8:56PM

I thought he should have tried harder to beat me instead of getting in that pouty face thing...
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Posted by RunningGirl5 Aug 8th, 2012 at 8:37PM

Hecks No! Dude is 8, does he get pouty when his friends win!? Who better to learn sportsmanship from then a parent.

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Reply by agnes1977 Aug 8th, 2012 at 8:52PM

Yes he gets pouty in front of his friends. I'm more of a step mom but I've been here for 4 years. His mom doesnt handle things the way I do. Since football hes not been doing the pouty cry look which I hate and despize. His Dad doesnt like getting on to him too much. But about the pouting and crying he has been dealt with about that so now he does it to just us. I told him how kids will be laughing and pick on you if you show weakness like that... I have a 17 year old who never acted the way this one does, my son hes soon going into the Air Force... If its just me and him hes fine calm goes and does his own thing and we eat popcorn and watch movies but let his mom or dad come in and he instantly changes. I never disipline him hes not my child even though I feel he is... I can just tell him what to do and he does it I have that look and tone that is made very clear. without even words sometimes...
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Posted by iwantpizza Aug 8th, 2012 at 8:37PM

Don't treat him like a baby. Go ahead and honestly win. If you don't then you will raise a self-entitled, spoiled, unrealistic kid - and that is a true diservice to him.

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Reply by agnes1977 Aug 8th, 2012 at 8:56PM

amen thank you
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Posted by FreeRandomness Aug 8th, 2012 at 8:35PM

You've kinda overthought the situation :) Though your right you shouldn't always let him win it'll teach him that in life you can't always win sometimes you lose and he'll just have to expect it. Otherwise when he plays with other kids he wont handle it well when he loses.

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Reply by agnes1977 Dec 2nd, 2012 at 8:37PM

thats exactly what I think
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Posted by mavrick0417 Aug 8th, 2012 at 8:46PM

No. Kids need to learn that life is not perfect and the other guy needs to win sometimes.

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Posted by loveispatient34 Nov 30th, 2012 at 9:18PM

often times i will let my nephew win because we are just having fun and we laugh about it - give a reason to make your child smile and laugh - other times i win and teach him some of the moves that i know since he is a middle school basketball player

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Posted by Wtfanamenobodywants Nov 30th, 2012 at 9:16PM

Was just a bar grill and my son wanted to play me in darts despite the fact I have several trophies for darts playing 301 he hit 2 double bills eyes I was cheering him on then he was down to double digits so I was explaining how to multiply ahead of time he got mad at me said he was winning and knew how to play I let him shoot then I got mine to 25. He shot again I was shooting from another dart board next to ours the whole game told to watch this hit a bulls eye and my wife thinks im an *** when j tried to teach him my mom never let me win

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Posted by onwayout Aug 9th, 2012 at 9:48AM

No. Children need to learn they can't always win at every game, and how to be a gracious 'loser' when things don't go their way. Children need to know the world does not revolve around them, and sometimes other people are going to be better at something than they are, but that sometimes they will be better at other things.

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Posted by Unchainedthoughts Aug 8th, 2012 at 8:48PM

Well it's okay to win once in a while....as a child I never liked when my dad beat me in snakes and ladders.....well it's not about like or dislike i guess....

It's about showing them subtly the shades....of good days and not so good days.

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Posted by risenphoenix Aug 8th, 2012 at 8:42PM

I think it depends on the game and the age of the child. If it's a game that both have the same chance of winning, I see nothing wrong with the parent/adult winning. Children can and should learn as soon as possible that not all the games they play will result in a win for them. A child should be challenged. I have played many hours of Wii with my granddaughter; golf, tennis, some of the physical challenge type games; board and card games, etc; there are some that she can beat me nearly every time and there are others that I am more accomplished with. Although, I have tried to instill in her that they are just games, and a win or loss isn't going to matter.

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Reply by agnes1977 Aug 9th, 2012 at 4:57PM

This child is too smart he actually got his moms credit card memorized and went through lego and bought all kinds of stuff while she was sleeping... Hes a master at these video games. I let him win all the time in everything we do hes just a sore pouty loser... Not to be mean but he doesnt have enough descipline from his parents... I dont like that pouty face I can stand everything else his bossyness his screaming and yelling singing songs over and over. He grabs my face to make me pay attention to him. He has my attention all the time... I feel I'm the only one who plays with him... I take him to football practice I keep him so his mom can go off with her married boyfriend. He wants to be with me more than the both of them... I know I've spoiled him in ways I just wish he didnt make that face if it was my son he would be grounded and a possible smack on the butt at that age...
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