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Should you disclose to your new partner, that you once had a problem with alcohol ?

Posted 1 year ago
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You bet. Been there. Done that. I would rather find out right now than ten years down the road.
Posted 1 year ago

Other 15 Answers to Should you disclose to your new partner, that you once had a problem with alcohol ?


Posted Feb 5th, 2009 at 5:58PM
Yes! If you want to build a good foundation for a new relationship, honesty and truthfullness are two of the most profound building blocks on which to start. Best of Luck to You.
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Posted Feb 5th, 2009 at 5:58PM
Yes. If they are into you they will support you. If they can't handle it, they aren't the partner for you.
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Posted Feb 5th, 2009 at 5:58PM
I say YES definitely!! My wife told me inspite of her mother warning her not to (as it might drive me away). She not only told me of her alcohol problem but about other things from her past which she felt I needed to know and wanted to be up front and honest about. I am so glad she did because it showed me that she really cared and really wanted to be with me....it also help to open the door for me to be completely open with her as well. Openness and honesty with each other has been our priority from the beginning.
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Posted Feb 5th, 2009 at 5:58PM
I think it would be wise to do so. Not only is it good to be honest, but it also prepares your spouse / partner for occasions when you two may be offered alcohol; then its not such a surprise if you politely refuse.
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Posted Feb 5th, 2009 at 5:58PM
It depends on HOW new. If it's very new, wait a little while. Then, as you both get to know each other a little better.. tell them. Don't wait til you've been together for like 6 mos. or so. But don't do it after 3 weeks either.
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Posted Nov 7th, 2008 at 12:10AM
You certainly should tell your partner. Let me throw it out this way. If your partner had some treatable STD and you are starting to move to the next level in your relationship; wouldn't you want to know before you just "plunge in?" I know it is a drastic analogy however that secret, if kept, could be detrimental to the relationship if it is found out in the future. How would you feel to be exposed to an STD? You would think your partner didn't care about you, that they are selfish and only care about their own pleasure. Plus don’t you want your partner to be there to help you on those low days when you feel you want to take another drink?
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Posted Feb 5th, 2009 at 5:58PM
Yes how can he help if he does not know?
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Posted Feb 5th, 2009 at 5:58PM
I think so. It's important, and not just because of the honesty reasons mentioned by others here.

People with alcohol problems and other addictions share behaviors that non-addicted people don't understand. If your partner knows about your issues, he/she can learn more about living and coping with the ways you handle stress, your health, and so on.

You haven't said how long you've been together or how long you drank, or even how long it's been since you quit. I think these are important variables. If I were the partner in this situation, and you told me on a first or second date, I might not be as comfortable as if we had known each other a little longer. And if you've been in recovery for years, that says a lot more than if you just quit last week.

Good luck.
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Posted Feb 5th, 2009 at 5:58PM
Absolutely you should--I believe with a new partner you should disclose things about yourself-it's a way to build a relationship on a true foundation--
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Posted Feb 5th, 2009 at 5:58PM
They are your partner, you should disclose everything...

Maybe not in the form of laundry list or a diatribe, litany, of your many faults, perversions, and twisted thoughts. But, through conversation, everything should come out, and nothing should be concealed.
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Posted Feb 5th, 2009 at 5:58PM
do it in the form of a testimony testifying to the faithfulness of GOD.
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Posted Feb 5th, 2009 at 5:58PM
When you are laying on the floor passed out and they trip over you on the way to the bathrom they will probably figure it out.
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Posted Feb 5th, 2009 at 5:58PM
i agree with lyrica. if we have been together only a short time, i don't think i'd reveal all just yet. but if things are progressing between you two and it feels like something that will last, then i'd be more comfortable sharing it.
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Posted Feb 5th, 2009 at 5:58PM
Yes. Honesty is the cornerstone to a good beginning.
But - people need to learn to disclose slowly, as the relationship unfolds. Divulging too soon too fast is disastrous.
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Posted Feb 5th, 2009 at 5:58PM
If your partner frequents the bar or drinks on a rather regular basis then yes you will need to bring up your stance on the situation. If not then why feel a strong need to divulge? to see if they'll stick around and accept you unconditionally? what will be your next confession?
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