Should you stay in a relationship if your unhappy yet you feel like leaving may make that feeling worse?
My boyfriend and i have been together for about 3 years, since about year 2 i have been unhappy. i have not kept this a secret, we have always thought things would spring back to how they used to be. He is truly and amazing guy (ive never had to open a door, and i always come first) and i feel like it isnt fair to keep pulling him down with me, but i cant imagine my life without him. im really at a loss i have no idea what to do...
10 Answers to "Should you stay in a relationship if your unhappy yet you feel like leaving may make that feeling worse?"
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Be happy that you aren't feeling this way in a marriage. Get out before it becomes a marriage. Sample a lot of people to figure out what you want.
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I know exactly how you feel only I was in love with my first husband and we were married for thirteen years. I thought he was the one. We even have three children together. Things were perfect at first but after the years went on I started feeling how you do and didn't understand why. but i kept trying to work it out since we had kids and everyone said we should. But things only seemed to get more dreaded and he changed. I thought i couldn't live on my own without him and my girls even started to see how mommy was and they started getting upset and all. And one day I finally woke up. i decided that even thought it was the hardest thing I had to do, I had to think of my girls and myself. So I did. I told him how i felt and all plus he was doing things that I couldn't handle now. So we separated then five months later got divorced. and I have to say that things are so much better now. There's been ups and downs but my girls are doing so much better and still see their dad always. I have my own place keep up with all bills etc. and I found a better man who loves me for me and doesn't treat me as i felt before. I know you are younger and are afraid. maybe you just honestly need some space and time to think both of you. I did that too before and realized alot. and i found myself again. before i had lost myself for awhile because he was my world. bad desicion never lose yourself for anyone.
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Thank you so much for your answer, it really helped me. We sat down and talked the other night and we both agreed that if we stay where we are now we are headed down a really rocky path to a really terrible breakup. So we decided to move out and get our own places and see if we can't make things work by still being a couple just not living together. neither of us know what will come of it, but it has to be better then where we are now. and this way if we were to break up completley, it would be alot eaiser to handle and cope with for the two of us.
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that is good and i will be thinking of you. i am glad i could help in some way. you may add me if you like i will be happy to be your friend.
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I noticed in your introduction the absence of the word `love`. You can have relationships that are emotionally close, as yours seems to be, but if it lacks romantic love and it is something that your heart desires, you will be unhappy. I don`t think things would get worse if it is romantic love you seek and you break up. You would be setting yourself free.
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Great answerLike (1)
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I have been unhappy in a marriage for a long time. It almost ended. I came to to understand that I was expecting him to be someone else. I wanted him to fill empty places within myself. I have come to understand that unless I am happy with who I am I can't expect things to get better, I have also come to understand that I can be happy myself by doing the things that I have dreamed about, He gives me the space to do that and since i am taking care of me through fulfilling myself. Make sure that expectations that are missing is not you that is unhappy and it is really not about him. If that is not the case than connection and love seem to be fading for you and it is time to move on, You will find someone that will be the one that makes you really happy. Good luck to you.
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If it's been a whole year leave-won't get better just worse. I was only married 3 months and knew it wasn't going to get better. Was glad I left-he ended up in prison.
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Do you know the reason or what cause you to be unhappy? What or why do you want to leave him if he's amazing?
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You only think you can not live w/out him until you actually start living w/out him.You may even enjoy life better.
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Have you told him everything? Do you even know why you're unhappy? What are you expecting of him and is it reasonable?
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He is fully aware of everything and i feel awful because i know it tears him apart to see me so unhappy when all he wants to do is make me happy. But everytime i tell him how it is unfair to him, he freaks out and begs me to stay. I dont know what i expect from him, i just want happiness for us both.
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So why are you unhappy?
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that's is always most tricky situation huh,,,
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Best Answer (Chosen By Asker):
Posted by RobSedona Oct 5th, 2012 at 11:39AM
Why be unhappy if nothing you can do will change it then way would you stay the pain only lasts as long as you give it power over you. Life is short:-) Or you may be saying the same thing in 10 20 30 years:-)
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Reply by Unwritten12 Oct 5th, 2012 at 11:42AM
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Reply by RobSedona Oct 5th, 2012 at 11:49AM
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