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My six year old came home with a large bruise over his eyebrow. After questioning him about it, he tells me that a boy in his class pushed him down on the playground. The boy got a purple dot in his folder, the way the school punishes kids now if they get a bad dot they dont get a prize at the end of the week. This is not the first time I've heard bad stuff about this kid though. My other son inn the same class came home with a torn shirt, and told me that the same kid had pushed him down and sat on him so he could see the animal on it. What concerns me the most is that the teacher didnt notify me that my son was comming home with this huge bruise.....Should I go and talk to the teacher or principal about it? Should I just leave it alone?
jennieanne jennieanne 26-30, F 10 Answers Nov 13, 2012 in Motherhood

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DONT LEAVE IT ALONE! Talk to the teacher and tell him/her she needs to do REAL PUNISHMENTS! And if he/she doesn't, talk to the principal. Then talk to the kids parents about how the kids an ***! And if none of this works, put your son in another school and maybe sue the school with the bully

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what do you call a 'real' punishment?

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Telling the kid what he did was wrong, telling the parents about it and lots of shouting :-/ it's the only way u can learn. But no hitting!

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Well that's probably what happened - he got the purple dot which implies it was dealt with and that he knows he's done wrong. It's safe to assume there was some shouting / stern voice and expressions. It may even be that the parents were notified of some sort of incident short of the bruise but you couldn't tell every parent about every time you told a kid off.

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Well ok

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I'm an elementary teacher. <br />
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If their behaviour policy is the purple dot thing then that's their policy and they've dealt with it. The kid has been told off so there's no more come back on that one. They most probably didn't tell you about the bruise because it probably took a few hours to develop and they won't have seen it. Also, devil's advocate here, if your boy is painting himself more innocent to you than the reality of the situation, he won't be demonstrating his war wounds to an adult at school. <br />
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The fact that this kid's name comes up repeatedly is worrisome but then, think about it, so does your family name from the other mom's perspective. <br />
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It's very unusual, even with very little kids, for 'bullying' to be entirely unprovoked so there's probably more to this story than you know. There's probably been some arguing, some snatching and finally some pushing on both sides. It doesn't make it right but it does make it normal kid behaviour. <br />
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Sometimes kids behave quite differently at school and they can be very skilled at white washing their part in any trouble - be wary, you don't want to be manipulated by your own child and you don't want to establish yourself as an overly protective mum. Ultimately it's your child's behaviour that suffers here. <br />
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Speak to the teacher and voice your concerns about the other kid who seems to have a problem keeping his hands to himself. Good schools don't want to excuse or condone physical threats between kids, good schools strive to provide safe environments for their pupils so your angle could be that you're helping them to do that by reporting something that they might not be aware of (although it sounds as though they are).<br />
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And... though it's painful, you might have to hear that your child is a bigger part of this rough play than you're ready to admit at the moment.

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Im not sure, his twin, who is extremly well behaved....the smaller one who had the bruise has adhd, has had problems with him before. Ive been told by them that this child gets purple dots every day and is mean to all the kids. This makes me feel like he may be a bully, but I am going to speak with his teacher about it.......my son did not get a purple dot today.

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Ok, good luck. It may be that the teacher needs to explain ADHD to the other kids - conditions like that can be baffling for others and this misinterpretation of their behaviour can lead to fights. You know it could be that your ADHD boy and this kid are mates and it spirals out of control - wouldn't be the first case of it.

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Oh, and, be careful, don't get all your info about this other kid's behaviour from your own boys - speak to the teacher.

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Bullying unusual? Really? I can spot the messed up kids at the playground pretty easy. They get a grumpy old man in their face as soon as they get within an arms length.

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I didn't say bullying was unusual.

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Ok Dolly, I spoke with the teacher; she said that the child has extreme behavioral problems. She has had to isolate him from the otherkids during class and during cente time. The only time he is iteracting with other kids is onthe playground. he told me they were trying to get him help, and that I should encourage my children not to play with him.

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Well that was worth investigating and it'll help you to steer your kids away from him. Your boy with ADHD probably fascinates him so that's going to be easier said than done. As a rule, if you're not sure about how something has been handled then speak to the teacher, the ones with nothing to hide never mind explaining. You know it's not entirely ethical but you give a kid a stimulant when it's over stimulated it will calm down - suggest to the nursery that they give this kid a coffee or a coke when he's hyper and if he slows down then they should advise it's parents about taking him to the dr for Ritalin.

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4 More Responses

this kid is a bully. you should go speak with the principal about this and ask to have a face to face conference with his parents, find out why you were not notified about this by the school.

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You should dig into what's going on and get your facts.

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would talk to the teacher... being a brat, that other kids parents need to get it under control, before he gets any older!!!

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If I were you you and I am not. Tell your kids to quit allowing these other kids to push them around. Doesn't mean they are but you don't want then to think that is ok to be pushed around especially when the authority figures don't have any say now a days

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He knows how to stand up for himself trut me he does......in fact he is hell on wheels most of the time, which is why i dont understand why this kid is picking on him.

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I dunno.... What does your son say when you ask him? My son had this kid that continually messed with him, stole from him and kept him in trouble for over a month. This was like a year ago and it was something I could never put my head around.
If you can get details from him, think outside the box.... haha - good luck with that

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