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Now he has some heart issues and it's not looking good..I can't get some of the things out of my head that have bothered me from when I grew up; What do you recommend?
minnesotazepher minnesotazepher 26-30, M 7 Answers Oct 26, 2010

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Talk to him. Visit him. Tell him you love him.<br />
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I had issues with my dad, sort of a love/hate relationship. I moved back home to take care of him and mom, and as tough as it was, I am SO GLAD I had that time with them. My dad had Alzeimers at that point. He died 2 years ago. I miss him very much, and wish I could call him and talk to him, or visit with him. And, the bad? Now that he is gone, seems to just slip away.<br />
<br />
You still have time. Use it wisely.... It's later than you think.....

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I screwed up because i remembered my father jumping to conclusions that i thought were wrong. however, i was the one who was wrong . He suspected abuse and was trying to protect me. I just didn't have enough information at the time, and was protective of the individuals he feared. Sometimes we make judgements and we don't have all the information. <br />
I don't know your specific situation. I don't have children but , i don't think it is as easy to be a parent as people think.<br />
Once your father dies, you will not have another chance, If it is possible, try to talk to him about the past. i missed my oportunity because when i was ready to talk to my father, my father was not able to comprehend and communcate. If it is also not possible for you to make up or talk to your dad, then so be it. But, you will at least have the memory of trying to make things right.<br />
When we loose our parents and there are all these unresolved issues, well there is no going back.<br />
<br />
Sincerely, <br />
Neuilly

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Talk to him, you'll regret it. I didn't talk to my dad for years because I was bitter as well and now he's possible being deported back to Argentina :/ I'm never gona be able to see him again if he does. You'll regret it if you don't.

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Take a step back and examine:<br />
How old was your dad when he fathered you?<br />
When you were that age did you have children of your own?<br />
What were you like at that age?<br />
How close to your age now is that?

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just as you aren't the same person you were as a child...maybe he has changed also. if you don't feel that you can talk to him about the specific issues that are bothering you..maybe you could ease back into his life a little at a time.. take the high road. unless the transgressions were greater than the thought of him passing away before you can come to grips with your feelings...it would be a great time to make that move forward.<br />
p.s. i wish i had a dad! :/

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talk to him.maybe he would be willing to talk to a counselor with you?

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