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The second verse makes no sense. The first verse is just painfully bad. Throw this away and start fresh. Also look up "sophomoric".

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^^ lmao

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Ah well, sounds better in my head. For the record it was like three in the morning when I came up with this lol. Ty for honesty

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you're welcome, thank you for taking criticism the way it was meant. Remember assonance is usually better than outright rhyming lines. for example: I learned one day in school, there is no exception that proves the rule"

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