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What have I become The damage has been done Hear my soul it screams Through these shattered dreams Someone save me! From this death of hate Or is this just my fate
Wifeinater Wifeinater 22-25, F 1 Answer Jul 17, 2012

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The second verse makes no sense. The first verse is just painfully bad. Throw this away and start fresh. Also look up "sophomoric".

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^^ lmao

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Ah well, sounds better in my head. For the record it was like three in the morning when I came up with this lol. Ty for honesty

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you're welcome, thank you for taking criticism the way it was meant. Remember assonance is usually better than outright rhyming lines. for example: I learned one day in school, there is no exception that proves the rule"

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