Tell them you have to leave early to see your parole officer.

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Talk about the skills you learned in prison

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Never bad mouth your current or former employer.

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Clip toenails

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lol *cringes*

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lol.. omg yuk!

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ask them for their interview qualifications

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Pick your nose., rub your nose......just don't near anywhere near your nose.

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Chew gum<br />
...wearing ANY fragrance of ANY time.....VERY inappropriate!!<br />
......Walking in with shopping bags<br />
...........leaving your cellphone turned on......<br />
.....slouching in your chair<br />
..........not looking at the interviewer while speaking<br />
......................going in with NO knowledge about what the company actually DOES......<br />
<br />
..............other than that, good luck!!

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Now you tell me!

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Speak in one or two word sentences , shrug your shoulders a lot , and never make eye contact.

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Arrive late, unprepared or otherwise indicate that you are anything but focused completely on the interview and the interviewer.

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question authority

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Tell the interviewer his toupee is crooked.....

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Give birth

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noooo!..lol

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No,no, no- u don't ask the interviewer-u make them assist u in the birthing process
And if they protest-threaten to sue them for negligence

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Show up naked riding a camel

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Your welcome ;)

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good advice.....best to use an animal that doesn't spit :-)

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So showing up naked is ok, just dont take a camel

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exactly! ;)

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even a really sexy camel?

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2 More Responses

Remain silent

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haha yeah..that's funny!

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wasn't expecting that.

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Ask for a beer.

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lol ...true...it's considered more professional to bring your own. ;)

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haha...that's right!

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I'm pretending you're only talking about job interviews.<br />
<br />
The one thing that will give no chance whatsoever of getting the job is to kill the interviewer.

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haha that's true. :-)

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Ordering in a Pizza!

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ahahaha.....yeah and ask if you can borrow their phone too! :-)

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Sit blowing chewing gum bubbles and wipe your nose with the back of your hand.

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this is funny! :-)...thanks for making me laugh.

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take a lunch break mid-interview, then when you finish, ask them "now, when do i get paid?".... Even worse advice is "to be yourself."

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pickin yer nose

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ewwwww! ....lol

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