The kids father not backing you up because they are not your kids.

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I'd imagine it's having to love (or at least like) your so's children, when they obviously don't feel the same way about you.

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Gaining respect. It can be very tough especially if your step children are older. I found being consistent and never making promises I can't keep have helped in this area. Of course it help if the children's mom is fair.

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Having to take part in his Mother's family's activities. We do the every other weekend thing, so if there's a cousin's birthday party on our weekend, here we go, and I have to play nice.

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Being isolated...not having a real home

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You have a lot of responsibility, but no authority. Especially, if you marry a widower with young children, and at the same time his young and capable mother, a.k.a. your mother-in-law acts like the your husband's exwife. Ready to jump in whenever your face or tone changes. You may not like them, but it doesn't matter. You have to care for them, even after you bend backwards to do everything for them, still you are considered a witch.

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