Stubborn 9 yr old!?

She is just being normal..........and when girls start to go through puberty their moods change with their hormones...always tell her you love her and you love her just the way she is........
Remember that you are her parent not her friend.
cheers

Sounds like she's fixing to go through the whole hormonal thing....totally normal....Please don't compare the two kids....their genders and their personalities are unique....try to find the things you love about her....because there has to be some....and focus on those....

I don't think "kissing her butt" is the answer, either...I had four kids....2 boys, and 2 girls....and every single one of them are different....some tried me in ways that the others did not....but, they are all great kids...and now they are adults, and I couldn't be more proud of the way all of them turned out.....

I think it's horrible that your parents would say you didn't deserve such a great son....and that they are loving your misery.....that's pretty toxic, in my opinion....

First off, I send my condolences to you for such lack of support from your parents. I'm not ecstatic when a friend is having difficulty with one of their kids ...

Secondly, each child is born with it's own "template" of personality, likes, dislikes, etc. that he/she uses to filter all the environment and experience they have through it in order to make a kind of sense inside them.

Your daughter's "filter" or "template" seems to be a rebellious type. Don't despair. This can be a good thing if you learn how to help her channel it. At 9 years old she can write a letter to the President (which you can edit for appropriateness....i.e. no cussing etc) about things she cares about deeply.

Thirdly: I had a son that went back and forth between me and my ex, especially in the teen years. This is how I dealt with the "run to the other parent" scenario: I say "go for it". Then I told my ex that we have to be sort of cohort spies together in order to keep his butt in line. That way, I told him the stuff my son was saying and vice versa. Give the child a sense that she is loved AND protected (even from herself) by ganging up and being a "couple of parents". Since she has both, use both!

Good luck and as long as you haven't killed her and she hasn't killed you by time she is 18, you've been a successful parent in the most basic way. :) Anything above that is something to be proud of!

LOL! i sympathize, as i also have a subborn 9 year old :)
I agree, our kids are 'tween' it's normal, it's not easy, but hang in there :)

first of all she's the second child, so she's fighting for your attention the first child always gets the most attention, the second child has a teacher that shows him all the bad behaviors and they learn quickly, tell your family to help or get out of the way, and tell your 9 year old, that life sucks she'll never be the only child but that she's loved just as much then show her, but they are two different people, and you teach other people how to treat her, and if you talk about her to your friends the way you started this letter your labeling her as the bad child and she will be treated like it, by the way I am the second child, I speak my mind, my second child does the same and her 2nd child is already very stubborn which is a good way of saying opinionated