hahahahahahaha xD found a good one:
A man and a woman who had never met before, but who were both married to other people, found themselves assigned to the same sleeping room on a trans-continental train.
Though initially embarrassed and uneasy over sharing a room, they were both very tired and fell asleep quickly, he in the upper berth and she in the lower.
At 1:00 AM, the man leaned down and gently woke the woman saying,……….
‘Ma’am, I’m sorry to bother you, but would you be willing to reach into the closet to get me a second blanket? I’m awfully cold.’
‘I have a better idea,’ she replied ‘Just for tonight,…… let’s pretend that we’re married.’
‘Wow!…………………. That’s a great idea!’, he exclaimed.
‘Good,’ she replied. ………….’Get your own f***ing blanket.’
After a moment of silence, ………………….he farted.
Hopefully I haven't worn this one thin.
And the Lord God said unto John, "Come forth, and receive eternal light!"
But John came fifth and won a toaster.
What's red and green and goes 100 kph?
A frog in a blender.
Two guys are sitting in a bar. One starts to insult the other one. He screams, “I slept with your mother!” The bar gets quiet as everyone listens to see what the other guy will do. The first again yells, “I SLEPT WITH YOUR MOTHER!”
The other says, “Go home dad, you’re drunk.”
I'll tell you a joke and let you judge if it's funny.
I flew to Indiana over Christmas and as we were pushed back from the gate the pilot came on... "Ladies and gentleman on behalf of **************** Airlines I'd like to welcome you all aboard this history making flight.
"It's history making because there are no pilots aboard this aircraft. To help avoid pilot error accidents they have been replaced with computers. But don't worry. I have been fully programed to fly the plane and deal with any possible problem that might come up. I assure you absolutely nothing can go wrong-go wrong-go wrong-go wrong...."
what do you call a little mexican?
no manches, realy?