Cut the White Wire.
Always use a rubber.
Always put a helmet on that soldier
That's right. Don't be silly cover your willy befor you sink the pink.
dont b a fool wrap ur tool
no glove..no love..
no glove....no love
say it with me "those jeans do not make your axx look fat"
Love this one! Had a close call with the wifey, did u?
always wear - a helmet,a seat-belt,a condom. wherever necesary. and dont try to mix any of the first two with the third.
To be honest, the last two would work for me lolz
haha not wen ur driving !! (suit urself,actually :P )
If choking while alone use the back of a chair to perform the Heimlich maneuver
If your life ever seriously needs saving,<br />
don't ever expect to be your own superhero.<br />
(That job always belongs to someone else.)
if you hesitate...don't do it.
Belt everyone in your car. Remind those who challenge you that if hit, they become a human projectile and the could kill others in the car.
Stay away from drunks and drug abusers, even if they are hillarious, funny or offer free sex.
When faced with an angry Lion, unzip your coat and hold the sides out to make your self look really big. The Lion with then run away. I read this in a survival handbook.
there's something like a 1 in 15000 chance you'll get hit by meteorite, so don't just stand there looking at it thinking it's pretty, be smart........take a step to the left
Trust your gut instinct. and read "The gift of fear"
dont drive with your eyes closed
Learn to fish,u will never starve.
before pulling the trigger... Be sure that the hole is facing away from you.
when you are getting abducted ... You must be very careful in what you say to the aliens because they are telepathic.
If an ob<x>ject is flying towards your head, don't stand there like pole. Move! Because that thing f**king hurts.
Snow is just water, and large amounts of it moves the same way - in waves! When caught in an avalanche, always swim up.<br />
Alligators DO move fast on land. If you meet one, climb something quickly.<br />
When stung by a Jellyfish, keep the sting away from water but do have someone pee on it!
The sensation of crushing central chest pain means that you need to go to a hospital (soon)
Do not mix dish washing liquid and bleach...the combination produces deadly toxic fumes.
Dont inhale solids and if you shoot the bad guy in the chest go back and empty the rest of the magazine in his head, never ever think it is a good idea to visit old Mr Smiths house late at night unless your name is scooby doo