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Koyptakh! Now Sogdianrock, and Lacelestine; the last two profiles made without me knowing at all. Does this make me stupid, and is EP worth it really?
Literaturegirl Literaturegirl 46-50, F 17 Answers Jun 9 in Community

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The only thing I know is you two failed to read between the lines when you exchanged mails. I don't think creating other profiles is a crime (although one profile is enough for me) , it shows people need an anonymous place. <br />
That being said, I imagine there are other issues at stake here, and definitely different expectations.

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No, another profile isn't necessarily an issue I agree. People have their reasons. But the I don't want to be on EP while being here is an issue, and yes other issues too. Expectations were hammered out very clearly, and basically he lied to me but worse he lies to himself. He's no Peza with EarthlingWise, Nimbus and Abbey. A long friendship, that wasn't a friendship.

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I am me and friendship is with that person not another. I cannot be blamed for not being Saint Peza or whoever and no disrespect intended. Just myself and if that is not good enough after 5 years move on. I do with great sadness and regret.

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Every relationship is different indeed, people are attracted to each other for a reason.

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lacelestine, They meet, talk. After 5 years you couldn't even let me send you a postcard?! You are you? Yeah, you're so sad it's evident from your happily answering questions here and saying one thing, while simultaneously doing another. It was all on your terms. Yes, you are you the great I am.

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EarthlingWise, That's true but honesty is important too. I am someone who was just not important enough. He's justifying himself. Please don't enable

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Maybe it's the only relationship he wanted.

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Not sure what you mean?

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Long-distance support. For 5 years, if you believed in him, I guessed he may have helped you too?

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I trusted him, but stopped when I began to see the anomalies and cracks that I hadn't seen before. The help was a mirage, a game of power.

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It does happen, often people don't mean to destroy you, they function differently.

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Some are indifferent.

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Yes, it's one way of functioning.

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Doesn't make it OK though to harm others

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That's exactly so Undertone, it is the opposite of love.

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Possessiveness can be the opposite of love too, it's all a matter of boundaries.

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EarthlingWise, Why are you supporting him?!! He is not being honest at all. And yet you seem to give the thumbs up to his behavior?! I asked him to let me go, he not only refused - on Friday just gone - but wrote to me yesterday, Saturday. He wrote to me! And now I am wrong?! I am so shocked at what he has done! I don't get it, or EP at all.

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I'm not defending anyone, here. The point is not for me to declare anyone guilty, or evil. You had a relationship with that person, and now you only see the lie in them. What I do is try to understand people's behaviours, it's part of healing and it's part of an attitude towards peace.

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I don't think he is evil, nor guilty. I am at the end of my rope! I've been married a long time, and never had sh*t like this. This has EP written all over it. I am not ready to heal as this is raw, very raw.

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Well, it looks a bit like it, though! But, I do see you're very upset, this is why I would rather adopt a peaceful attitude, you are in the middle of an emotional maelstrom, while I am just an observer and a friend that hopes you will overcome the hardship.

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I am very, very cut up. I thought he and I were close but the cracks began to appear and maybe inevitably. I am angry, hurt, at a loss. I am in a maelstrom. Thanks for your hopes

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It's not just hopes, you will get over it. I do think healing means being able to see the whole story, not just the hurt.

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I saw the whole story EarthlingWise, and gave him a great deal over the years. I know him very well, but did not have him down as a liar

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I don't know the lies you're talking about. Anyway lies are ways of copping out, people are escaping some reality, what reality? yet again, I don't know.

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Yes, I understand that, and denial, and all else that is unhealthy. I just never had my friend koyptakh down as someone who would tell bare-faced lies to me

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Just as well you should know now.

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Yes, my very feeling and my thoughts too. Just the shock of discovering yet another profile. It really threw me, not least after his not letting me go, and telling me I was his best bet. Yes, far, far better to know now.

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I think we should all take such declarations with a pinch of salt.

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Haha I agree!! A very large pinch of salt

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25 More Responses

EP is what you make of it. You just can't take sites like this so seriously. Internet "friends" are mainly just acquaintances. Until you know someone in real life .. face to face, you really don't know if they're who they say they are. You're not "stupid" .. just hoping that everyone is upfront and honest about themselves. Sadly, on the internet, it's not a good idea to be so trusting.

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BarisMe, I feel stupid. We wrote for 3 years offline every day, and I did trust him.

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Don't feel that way LG. You did it from a sincere place in your heart. He's the one who should feel badly that he took advantage of your friendship and kindness. I have a feeling you're probably not the first one he duped like that.

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OK, Thanks BarbisMe, I did do it from a sincere place in my heart and I think you're right I'm not the first (nor will I be the last) he has done this to. He has no remorse

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Even though it's difficult for you .. so much better to find out now and not waste any more of your time and energy on him. Karma will deal with him .. I'm sure.

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Yes, better to find out now. It could have gone on for more years, the time and dedication given to him. But yes, difficult, sad, a loss. Thanks BarbisMe.

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You're not stupid just trusting not your fault.

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I was, and too trusting. I just feel I am old enough to know better

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this is a little creepy. I am here! I have been a good and true friend.

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Um, no you have not. It's creepy what you've done, and even more creepy you don't get it Koyptakh, Sogdianrock

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I have 3 profiles on ep and am proud of them all. Nothing to be ashamed of and it is not creepy. Please either be my friend or leave me alone. This makes no sense.

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And care so much you carry on like nothing Lacelestine, Yesterday I was your only hope! Thanks for screwing with my head. That's being a true friend?!

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what would you have me do? I would be your friend still but you chose not to trust me. Fair enough. I believe I am trustworthy so why not just leave it at that. I changed profile twice to give you space. Yet you found me again. just block me and have your space please.

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You dumped me yesterday Lacelestine, and you did not create profiles to give me space. You've created a hell in my life, someone who was a friend and claimed to love?! You have a skewed idea of trust. While on both profiles you were claiming a number of things to me that turn out to me complete contradictions. You are as cold as ice.

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4 More Responses

There are plenty of nice people here...chin up, move on :-)

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Five years as friends, writing every day.

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That's sad, sorry to hear... Its ok though you are better off without the hassle. Don't let it get you down :-)

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and still writing even here in what feels like a courtroom

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@lacelestine maybe you should leave her alone right now, it's obvious she is upset

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I did and set up an new gender unspecific profile and minded my own business. what of my feeling upset?

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sometimes people have misunderstandings...If it were me I would let well enough be right now and try to patch it up later ok? this isn't helping things

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No Lacelestine, Not still writing. I discovered this third profile this morning. That is why you are writing now. I also discovered the Sogdianrock profile totally by accident after you'd had it since January

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I've had the displeasure of running into a few that have had secret discussions with others sharing confidential and personal information and then lied to me about it.

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I'm sorry that you have. These things shock

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No worries but thank you. RL friends are often challenging and personally it don't think you can make a real friend without a face to face.

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None of its been worthwhile.

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No, it doesn't make you stupid.

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I feel so, but thanks Abstraction

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cheaters are there

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I never, ever thought Koyptakh, Sogdianrock, and this new profile he has was one of them. This is what my Rather have the truth story was about. I thought we'd worked it out, and *bam* another discovery

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I am no cheater. This is not fair.

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Lacelestine, You have not one ounce of insight here have you? You again are the injured party. I was a good friend to you, even though you refused to talk with me on the phone, let me write via post, meet me. What do you know about me, when have you ever asked me how I am?! This is your life playing out here on EP. I was a loving, loyal friend for many years.

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Things will get better

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Thank you. It's all just got so much worse, a horrible nightmare. I'm looking forward to the getting better and asap

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how so? I have been friends and yet now am publicly doubted without reason as far as I am concerned.

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You have no insight Koyptakh, Sogdianrock, Lacelestine. I had no idea about the latter two profiles. No wonder you wouldn't meet me, talk with me, let me write to you! That is reason. Someone with 3 profiles, at least?!

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I do not agree this is a fair way for friends or even ex friends to talk to each other. I have not said or done anything wrong on any of my now 3 profiles? I only opened the second two to give you space on ep. Why keep pursuing me? Why not just block me and be done with it? We have discussed this at length and there is no resolution to it because you do not trust me. So please either be my friend or stop writing to me or about me. I wish you only good things.

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1 More Response

Sorry to hear that. The depth of human cruelty is beyond belief at times. But there are a lot of good people here!

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Thank you. I agree, the depth of human cruelty and I never thought Koytpakh was a part of it. There are good people here, but I thought he was one of them

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I am not part of it. This is cruelty beyond measure.

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So what r u accused of? Having more than one account? As long as u havnt used those other a ccounts to screw with people who cares.

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Lacelestine, You as always are the injured party. You said it, what you've done is cruelty beyond measure! Friends for five years too, and I supported you, listened to you. In return you wouldn't even let me write to your home address, meet up, talk with me on the phone. And the mobile to be used in "extreme emergencies"?! You are in the centre of this cruelty beyond measure

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Everyday, It's more than this.

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yes that's about it plus not agreeing to have an offline relationship. I am aware of my own limitations and so set boundaries which are not meant to be cruel but have been perceived as being controlling. A person has to know his limitations and I have not been ready for an offline relationship despite 5 years of online friendship. It is hard I do understand but still I am who I am and nobody gains from a a step too far.

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No Lacelestine, It is not about this at all. How you lie to others, but to yourself. It was the lying and playing that were the problem for me. Again, I asked you about being on EP: while simultaneously having an account here, you said you didn't want to be here. I trusted you 100%! It went when I began to see the huge gaps in your stories. That's what the problem is. At the same time you were saying one thing, you were creating this third profile. Meanwhile it is all for my benefit?! I asked if I could send you a card/letter. You said no. It was all on your terms, and that my friend is controlling and being a tyrant. It was all about you.

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Lacelestine, Why didn't you let me go then if this was true?! I didn't keep writing to you; you wrote to me, and I answered! Don't you see how ridiculous this is, saying this stuff?! So, you claim you didn't agree to an offline relationship but yesterday write to me I am your best bet? Jesus

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5 More Responses

Unfortunate but that's how it is with life, you get the bad and the good here and there. Still some good people around.

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That's true but with this person we had been what I though was close friends for nearly 5 years. He was my closest friend on and off EP, I thought!

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Oh man, 5 years is a long time! That being said, you are now smarter and wiser for it. You'll be okay :)

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I am and have been a true friend always. Even now with this I am.

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I am your friend. Not stupid just mistaken. I do not do what you fear.

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Linux, All was stated so very, very clearly. I agree this isn't the best way to handle it, but it comes after reaching the end of my rope.

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