Do you feel a sense of relief once you move out? Do you try not be like your abusers when you end up in relationships or have kids on your own? Do you feel any side effects? Most importantly, do you feel that you future could be better than your past (i.e. your childhood)? The idea of the side effects of child abuse has been on my mind and I've been looking all over the internet to see examples of people who have risen above their ordeal to become a great success in life and/or to have happy lives with the family that they've started on their own. Pretty much, I'm asking this because it hurts to know that there are plenty of children, helpless at the hands of adults who should know better and should love and/or protect these kids and are doing neither because they are "mad at the world" and taking it out on them or because that's "how they were raised"... I just hope these children rise above it and at least try to move on to live normal, happy lives.
chrisfletch chrisfletch 18-21, M 9 Answers Dec 30, 2012 in Abuse

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Our life outcome will be based on the choices we make as we forge our lives out on our own once we are freed from our circumstances.

Some people stay slaves to their victim mentality replaying all the horrors and wrongs done to them thorough out their childhoods. These types of people never move past the mental instability of their past circumstances and sometimes will self medicate through drugs and alcohol to be able to live yet still trapped in the pain of their past for the rest of their lives. In the end it is a miserable existence and sometimes destructive to life itself.

Others will for some reason be able to say "What happened to me will NOT define me" I CHOOSE NOT TO BE A VICTIM, I CHOOSE TO FORGIVE my abusers (not for their sake but for mine) I will have and become who I was created to be if it takes me a lifetime of healing mentally and emotionally to do it.

I can say all this because I was a child of abuse. Every kind of abuse you can imagine. My earliest memory of sexual abuse is about age 4. I dont think about it, I dont focus or wallow in it. I left home at 17 to get away. I have forgiven my abusers, I have forgiven those who knew and did nothing. I am free from their stupidity and evil and I am free from what the statistics say my life should be.

I believe I am who I am because I have a faith in God. Because in Him HE was able to heal my memories and pain as I let Him have my life. I know He created me for a purpose and destiny and what was done to me throughout my young life He never intended. I dont blame Him for evil. I run to Him for my strength. He alone has been able to bring me out to a place of mental and emotional health. I believe He is the answer.

I know there are many who do not believe in God. That is ok, but for me I an a survivor because of HIM.

I am now in my 40's and only in the last 10 years has my personality finally evolved into who I was probably meant to have been all along. People who know me now, and hear of my past cannot believe I was that person; introverted, pessimistic, and fearful of my own shadow. People who knew me then cannot believe who I am now; confident, optimistic and always hopeful, a leader and speaker to many.

There is hope for survivors. Its in the path and choices we make.

I also want to add that its really important for those of us who have survived or those of us who have never experienced the reach out, reach down and be that arm of hope and life to those STUCK in their hurt and pain.

No one makes the best choices alone.

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Still mad at God for having it happen to me. AND God can't understand sexual abuse because he wasn't. : /

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you are reborn . . . everything is all new . . . every sensation through your senses is amplified by relief and a light heart and dare I say HOPE . . . everythings brighter . . . more colorful . . . smells better . . . tastes amazing . . . sounds musical . . . feels new . . . rests easy . . . the wonderful silence is loud and all you want to do is listen . . . finally . . . and breath . . .

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Do you feel a sense of relief once you move out?

Some do. I did.

Do you try not be like your abusers when you end up in relationships or have kids on your own?


Do you feel any side effects?

Some do. I did.

Most importantly, do you feel that you future could be better than your past (i.e. your childhood)?

ABSOLUTELY!! But I believe that counseling, by a professional or by someone else, is necessary to get "the bad stuff" out.

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I was tortured as a child by the hands of my first step father. Aside from the beatings his favorite method of torture was bathtub drownings. True story! I can prove he did this too. There is a record on the ODOC website. I had children and refused to abuse them or let them get abused the way I did. I have also risen above it and got educated. The damage it has caused me is trust issues and abandonment issues. I have very little respect for men but I will respect a man whom I know is sincere and harmless. I know violence well and I can seriously hurt someone if I wanted to and it takes a lot to make me that angry. I have learned evil intelligence and I can read people well. I have a poker face and I can out play anyone who tries to mind fukk me. I push people away when they give me a reason to. I have strong will because I have been hated since they day I was born so I have had to be strong to survive. I am not a victim but I am a survivor and I live my life one day at a time.

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I thought I was doing fine and then everything went crazy. Was diagnosed PTSD and with a lot of treatment I've broken free of the craziness. Sadly my siblings still live with delusions that our childhood was happy. Holidays are really hard. A really great therapist once told me, "all roads lead home and the condition of the road is up to you"

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U will go on and have a happy and productive life

There are moments when u will remember incidents

And for those times u may need counseling

Eventually though it is up to u NOT to let your abuser have control of your life

The best revenge is to live and live well.

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I appreciate *** whopping now a days abuse is get yell at when I was a kid **** I didnt think of doing anything stupid now you got ************* shooting up school cause they aint got no friends *** whopping set you on track so you know whats good and bad

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I agree that discipline is necessary. I was struck sufficiently to draw blood and I haven't ever been arrested. MY POINT IS anything that draws blood or breaks bones is physical abuse, a spanking is disipline.

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