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Tues. is my MM's 25th anniversary. He says that I dont have anything to worry about; how do I get through that day?

A few details...we have been together for about six months, he and his wife have not had sexual relations in 15 years (except about 7 years ago for a total of 3-4 times in a one month span), he is absoutly wonderful to me and very attentive (on a trip with her he is contantaly in contact...we chat nightly and on and on and on... I am not fearful of them "sleeping" together...He has never cheated on her before and the guilt kills both of us. Of course I want him to leave and he wants to be with me...but she is a good person (we have met) and he has feelings...just not "marriage love" feelings. Just want to get through this day...he isn't worried...just me.

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8 Answers to "Tues. is my MM's 25th anniversary. He says that I dont have anything to worry about; how do I get through that day?"

  1. LifesCraziness - 41-45 years old - female

    Posted by LifesCraziness Jun 25th, 2011 at 2:33PM

    Oh geesh! Holy Hell!
    what do you want? sympathy?
    you are having an affair with a dofus of a man... wait! He's NOT a Man! Any decent MAN would NOT have affairs!! they would do what is right and divorce their spouse then find someone new.
    The guilt would KILL you? I guess it doesn't KILL you cuz you are on here asking this question!!! I have no sympathy for you I only have it for His poor wife!!
    And your comment of "he isn't worried.." Of course he isn't worried... he has a wife to clean his house and wash his clothes and fix his meals and he has you for his booty call. Of course he isn't worried. He has it made!! OVey!

    Like (6)

  2. DarknessCalls - 41-45 years old

    Reply by DarknessCalls Jun 24th, 2011 at 5:24PM

    ^5

    Like (1)

  3. LifesCraziness - 41-45 years old - female

    Reply by LifesCraziness Jun 24th, 2011 at 5:27PM

    what is that? LoL?

    Like (1)

    6 more replies
  4. bronagh2 - 56-60 years old - female

    Posted by bronagh2 Jun 25th, 2011 at 2:34PM

    He's playing you both, having his cake and eating it....why is he still with his wife?

    Like (4)

  5. hutre - 22-25 years old

    Posted by hutre Jun 25th, 2011 at 2:37PM

    You are not the first person he's cheated on her with, and he and his wife have slept together. He's lying to you.

    Like (3)

  6. wilsonk - 46-50 years old - male

    Reply by wilsonk Jun 25th, 2011 at 5:14PM

    Are you operating the CIA spy cameras in orbit? If you're not how do you "know" this?

    Like (1)

  7. hutre - 22-25 years old

    Reply by hutre Jun 25th, 2011 at 5:40PM

    Your situation is classic Desperate Housewives skit. Also, you don't need to browse too many stories in this section to realize that people lieeeeee.

    Like (1)

    1 more reply
  8. dreamcat22 - 51-55 years old - female

    Posted by dreamcat22 Jun 25th, 2011 at 2:37PM

    The first thing you need to do is get rid of this married man and find someone of your own. He isn't going to leave his wife for you if he is still taking trips with her and celebrating their anniversary together. Of course he isn't worried. Right now he feels he has the best of both worlds, a loving wife at home and you on the side at his beck and call. You deserve better than that and so does his wife. Besides if he will cheat with you he will cheat on you and he probably already is cheating on you with his wife he just isn't man enough to admit it because that might make you have second thoughts about your relationship with him.

    Like (3)

  9. wilsonk - 46-50 years old - male

    Reply by wilsonk Jun 25th, 2011 at 5:15PM

    "if he will cheat with you he will cheat on you" Bollocks. Total ******* bullshit.

    Like (1)

  10. deltadon - 46-50 years old - female

    Posted by deltadon Jun 25th, 2011 at 2:39PM

    heartache & a waste of time.......sorry

    Like (2)

  11. wilsonk - 46-50 years old - male

    Posted by wilsonk Jun 25th, 2011 at 5:32PM

    It depends on where you see the relationship going.

    If you are invited to the anniversary celebrations you should try not to go. Fake illness or discover another appointment.

    If you do go you should hope the celebrations are outside in which case you should wear your sunglasses. Your eyes tell a different story to the one that comes out of your mouth! With your sunglasses on nobody will see the story your eyes are telling.

    Longer term you need to decide what you want from this relationship and explain that to him. Does he want the same thing? If he does you need to talk about what steps you're both going to take to get there.

    WK
    http://diariesofanadulterer.blogspot.com/

    Like (1)

  12. angelsamongus - 56-60 years old - female

    Posted by angelsamongus Jun 25th, 2011 at 2:51PM

    Why doesn't anyone say what is really going on ?

    ADULTERY !!!!

    What on earth happen to morals or one of the Ten Commandment s ?

    Thou Shall Not Commit Adultery.......

    Sorry......NO SYMPATHY here.......

    Like (1)

  13. wilsonk - 46-50 years old - male

    Reply by wilsonk Jun 25th, 2011 at 5:25PM

    **** off you annoying ******* hypocrite. ******* your daughters and impregnating them is okay? (Genesis 19:32-36) You shouldn’t eat shellfish? (Leviticus 11:10-12) Women shouldn't wear trousers? (Deuteronomy 22:5) Clothes with mixed fabrics aren't acceptable? (Deuteronomy 22:11) Have you read and absorbed these lessons as well? Or have you cherry picked the bible for the parts that conform to your own prejudices?

    Like (1)

  14. plumberlover - 46-50 years old

    Posted by plumberlover Jun 24th, 2011 at 9:02PM

    I'm in the same boat, however my MM has arranged a 4 days special surprise trip for his wife and won't discuss the details with me either. I think it upsets me more that he is hiding details from me rather than just telling me. What's the purpose of not telling me ???? He just says he doesn't want to upset me. What the heck?? Seriously ???? I know my MM loves his wife and never plans on leaving her. That will never be an issue for me. I just find it strange that he is being so secretive about this trip. So I'll have no contact and no idea where he is....I have no idea how I'm going to handle the four days, I just figure I'll keep as busy as possible. All I can do. I know I'll always be second fiddle in this relationship. But I chose this, so guess I have no real right to complain....doesn't make it hurt any less.

    Like (1)

  15. hairbandcherry - 36-40 years old - female

    Reply by hairbandcherry Jun 24th, 2011 at 10:04PM

    Ouch...Id go crazy(er). My MM used to tell me all of the details about everything; until he could see the hurt in my eyes. Maybe he sees hurt in yours that he is trying to prevent. BUT I agree, to a point not knowing details about something you know about makes it worse. Mine went on an annual vacation a couple of months back with his wife, I knew most of the details which was a double edged sword...but he was in constant contact. They went for a weekend to visit his brother and his wife and again...constant contact (even though he tells me that he may not be able to). We even had text chat while she was driving on the way to visit a sick relative. They will go away again for ten days next Friday. This is a norm for them and something that I have to get used to I suppose. The good part about these trips is it makes him miss me more and more and has made him realize that he can't deny his feelings. He has been on a business trip this past week and there has not been one night that we have not spent at least an hour on the phone; not including "good morning" and a quick chat online or a quick call. But again, he will get off the airplane and she will pick him up. He loves her; like a sister; and you see the sexual situation, but you are doing better than I am it seems with being second fiddle. And I suppose you are right about we chose this and have no real right to complain...but...our MM gave us this right in a strange way when they chose to love us too. I'd ask him not for details, but for at least a quick text just to let you know all is well (and that he is at least thinking of u). Best of luck!!!

    Like (1)

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