Thanks everyone. To add some information, the reason she says she doesn't want to confess to her ex that she's seeing me is because she essentially left her ex for me. I made it clear I would not pursue anything until they were apart. She fears her ex will think she cheated on her and end the friendship. Is this justifiable? I don't know.

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Never be anyones "secret"....

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I was going to say "no" until I read the bit about your partner keeping you secret from the ex. THAT sounds out of line to me.

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