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i decided to give her another chance because there was finally honesty coming out of her and I could tell that she regretted what she had done to me. Now, I know many of you think I am stupid for giving someone like this another chance, but I think this girl is the ONE for me. I am leaving for basic training on February 11. I want to know what I can do for her, and especially what I can say to her to make her realize that no one can love her like I can. I want to write her a letter and express myself... What kind of things should I say to her to make her realize that she means everything to me, and make her feel like she has no reason to cheat on me while I am gone. I want her to see that a little fling while I am gone would be a stupid thing to do. She says she loves me and I believe her when she says it now. I want her to know that one of those little flings would make her lose the person that really loves, and in the end she would regret it more than she regrets what shes done to me
chrijar412035 chrijar412035 18-21 9 Answers Dec 10, 2012 in Dating & Relationships

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I'm sorry: once a cheater always a cheater. You are far to young to be committing yourself to someone who has not been mutually exclusive with you. You will grow up- significantly- in the throughs of basic training.

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Really i can't tell you what to say . I can only tell you to pour your heart out.make her want more

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Listen, what you did proves that you have fallen deeply in love with that girl. Which is really wrong, because everything that falls gets broken, so watch out.

As far as I know, a cheater stays a cheater no matter what, except for some.

It's up to you. However, I think you should leave her so that she doesn't break your heart once again. If not, you have to keep an eye on her. xx

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So, it took her nine weeks to confess her betrayal? You said there was "finally honesty coming out of her." She should have been honest all along. It sounds like you are truly in love with this girl, so only you can make decisions about your relationship. But ask yourself this...if she cheats when you are present, will she be faithful when you're out of sight??? Basic is rough under the best circumstances, you can't be worrying about her.



I speak from experience when I say, no matter how much you love her, your love will not compensate for her lack of character. Every man deserves to be respected by the woman he loves, she didn't respect you. Protect your heart a little until she proves herself. You owe that to yourself. Good luck in basic and thanks for your service.

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dump her before you go into basic--i see hartake comming your way--if not your going to be very dissapointed when you finish basic go home and hear all the storys. basic isnt easy and your mind & head should be clear. so so many stories about the girls who are suposto wait. ask your father

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Whatever you say, is not going to affect the reasons for her cheating. She cheats out of her own lack of self-esteem, not appreciating herself, and because she doesn't meet her own needs. If those behaviors and thoughts she has don't change, then neither will she stop cheating. She will cheat on you when you leave, I can guarantee it. She will be lonely and her own issues will get in the way. She might say she loves you, and she probably does, but that doesn't mean she will be faithful. If you are still writing her something, write it from you, not from other people's ideas. That way it's 100% genuine. Personally though, you need to find someone that is on your level of emotional intelligence.

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You could send this story you wrote with a short explanation. Like, "Here's what I asked people for advice with. Comprehend it or we're done."



Just a suggestion.

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if the guy was better she would have dumped you, i think she is out looking for some one else and she will keep you till she finds him

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Until there is some formal commitment between you, the concept of "cheating" is meaningless. If she is the one, propose to her.

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BAD idea, to ask someone to marry you before you even know if she wants to cheat again.

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My point is, that while they are dating, there is no such thing as cheating. She was under no obligation. If she accepts a proposal, that signifies a willingness to stop playing the field and commit to the one relationship. I was only 17 when I got engaged and 30 years later I am still married to the same guy.

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In other words, the offer of a proposal would express this man's feelings far more eloquently than a lengthy letter.

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Perseverer... The way you put that makes complete sense to me. We were only dating when it happened, there was no promise ring, we were not promised to each other, nor engaged. However, when you can say I love you to another person and have sex with that person, I think you are comitting yourself to that person. I like what you have said though. I like that if I ask her to marry me, and she accepts, like you said, "that signifies a willingness to stop playing the field and commit to the one relationship." Thanks you for your response

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