He's trying to control you.Take back your power! Your a strong and intelligent woman! The more you let him put you down the more power you give him! He needs to start dressing more like a bum! And not mister High and mighty! He should be asking himself every morning how he can make your life better! <br />
Love is an action not just words! Good luck to you!

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your husband is an extremely angry person. It is not you, it is him. And you deserve someone who will treat you a lot better. Sending big hugs your way!

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Marriage counseling if he will, divorce if he won't.

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We are doing the counseling crud....but for other problems...like lack of communication :/

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A man who talks and acts like that is usually insecure in himself so he has to take it out on someone. You need to quit changing things about yourself to make him happy. You can't make him happy because he obviously isn't. It isn't your fault. Why don't you just ask him why he's being such a jerk? If you let a man treat you like this then he will continue to do so. You have to put your foot down or he's going to run right over you. He's trying to see how far he can push you before you snap. You have to stand up to him because if you don't this will continue. Just because he is being rude and treating you like this doesn't mean you have to take it.<br />
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Be yourself and if he doesn't want you then its his loss. You are doing nothing wrong and don't let him make you think you are.

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He's psychologically abusive and the only thing that might be wrong with you is that you are so weakened by his criticism and sexual sadism that you have forgotten that you have a name, a face and that you are a person. You need to get out of there. Don't walk, RUN RUN RUN!!

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That's not a healthy relationship. You need to move on. Whatever you guys had when you got married is gone. If you read the messages behind his words he is saying, "I'm not attracted to you any more physically and sexually."

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Ouch....

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I have to agree with Blogger422....most ppl wont come out and say it to your face...but if you read btw the lines its very obvious what they are communicating to you....hes not happy sexually with you, hes not attracted to you, you don't make him happy, who you are annoys him...you could try your hardest to strive for his image of his current perfection, which may be very difficult to achieve...especially since hes not giving you any real feedback or guidance on what that is....or you can accept yourself for who you are and stop striving to be somethingsomeone you aren't....you may realize after you change yourself to suit his needs, that your needs are not being met and your unhappy with whom you've become. Be you, put your needs first, and figure out what makes happy.....you may realize that who he has become now is not the same person you fell in love with and he is not what you want in your life anyways

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its not you. really. and thats the truth. he obviously has his own issues if he feels the need to nitpick. consider divorcing. i knew a woman who went through this before. and she was happier when she left her husband that neglected and mistreated her. and she was a beautiful and kind person. she didnt deserve it and neither do you

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my self esteem is gone too :(... . but I seem to have some dignity .. so I'm cool with that lol.<br />
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you need to be straight up with him about this.. snap on him! tell him how you feel.. think about how you feel.. what do you want from this marriage? he's gotta know.

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The problem is HIS, not yours. HE needs help.

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Saunaguy and clasdicality have the best answers. The rest of the 'go girl' answers are from narrow minded fools. The mature thing to do is to sit down over a cup of tea and calmly talk it over and it will take many such cups of tea. Ask yourself what you want first, don't be girly and go into the conversation not knowing what u want. Put your cards on the table, be precise: if youwant weekly oral sex tell him that - don't just say you are not are not happy in bed. If you want him to be more of a gent then tell him you need him to open the car door for you and you need flowers every fortnight. Don't make him guess by telling him he's got to show.he cares. Don't just bolt out the door like the sycophants in this column demand. Bolting is for horses.

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you're missing the point. He's angry, not happy. No matter what she does that won't change until he takes the foot out of his *** ;)

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That won't work for all men. You can't control what another person does or thinks, so the next best thing is to think of yourself and not let someone walk all over you.

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I still think she needs to have it out with him, not with us. She needs to tell her story to him and say she can't live with that kind of behaviour. If he doesn't give a damn then he may just walk. But if he does, he might just come around. I think it's worth giving the relationship a chance.

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Thank you :)

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i would tell him he sucks worse in bed then i ever would<br />
then i would walk around all super confident like i don't even need him<br />
(even if i wasn't feeling super confident i would fake it)<br />
then i would imply that i was thinking of having a lesbian experience<br />
(but not really)<br />
then he would be drown to me like bear to honey<br />
and when we did sleep together again I would call all the shots<br />
and make him work for it and if he disappointed me<br />
i would spank him for it and tell him he is just a disappointment in bed and if he wanted to not suck so much he should try harder then walk off all confident and the next night have a girls night out<br />
i would make him work for it girl, it would drive him crazy<br />
.........anyway that is me....lol

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Yeah lilcrash, thinksexy has some ideas here that are completely different to mine, but they but just work! You don't need to go as far as thinksexy would, but I reckon some of her ideas might just work, why not just take one and do it? thinksexy you are a hardcase and nothing but trouble ;-)

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i know right lol

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That is a great idea and thank you!

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I know it's easier said than done but divorce him and find someone else. I'm not even gonna sit here and bash him because I don't know him but clearly this relationship isn't working if it's causing you to feel badly.

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Why not sit down with him and discuss all the issues. Se eif things can be worked out between you. If not then maybe it is time for you both to move on.

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Thank you and I think talking is long over due. But, despite how I feel about the petty little problem I posted, that is the only problem and not a reason to move on :)

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Perhaps a boyfriend a new man to liven things up and make him jealous. it will either draw him closer for fear of loosing you or bring things to a climax in more ways than one, get out there and show him you are desirable, lovable, sexy, hot, and since he apparently does not want you and has driven you away, except for the convience of as he see's it common sex, just what a woman can do. I assure it will get his attention, Good luck !

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Your husband sounds like an azzhole who most likely never find a woman who pleases him , yikes ! Cut this guy loose and find a man who wants to please you , it's a two way street , sex should be pleasurable & fun with your husband ... maybe he has issues that have nothing to do with you & needs therapy ..good luck sweetie ..

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You are doing nothing wrong. You are yourself. If he has decided that he now doesn't want what he did want before (after all, he did ask you to marry him, right?) then what can you do? If you make changes to yourself but you're not what he wants anymore, how will you feel then? Give him his freedom, as hard as it is, to find what it is he wants. Chances are, he won't find it. Meanwhile, look after yourself. Become the person YOU want to be. Learn who you are, who you want to be, and stop thinking you did ANYTHING wrong. Move forward as a person who is becoming happy and whole. You can be both without THAT man, and maybe another will come into your life. Why do we always choose wrong the first time aroud? Love yourself enough!!! Contentment and peace will come. (I am going through the same process myself)

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Men like variety. Unless you are afflicted with Multiple Personality Disorder you are not going to satisfy him. Some man actually cheated on Halle Berry.! You can't get more beautiful than that!

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Lol!! Nope no Multiple Personality Disorder...but thats an idea ;)

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Not all men like variety. Believe it or not, there are some men who want a woman to love them.

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I all my life I have never. Metone. You are fortunate indeed

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