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I'm 17, and I've been brought up in a Christian family, though I'm not as strict as my parents. Since I was about 13 or 14, I've said that I will stay a virgin until marriage, and now that I'm older (still a virgin) and I'm getting more involved with boys, I want to make sure I stay one and avoid being tempted. I hardly talk about these things with my parents, especially my dad, and when I try to talk to my mum about love, marriage etc, she doesn't really like answering my questions! Although I do want to stay a virgin, I sometimes find it hard to know why. So, apart from Christianity and religion, what are other reasons to stay a virgin until marriage? Thanks :)
RomanceGirly RomanceGirly 16-17, F 26 Answers Dec 7, 2012 in Dating & Relationships

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I consider my v1rginity to have been thrown away. I was young, inexperienced and stupid enough to think that the boy would dump me if I didn't sleep with him - so I did. After that, well, it wasn't special anymore and I slept with other boys without thinking so much into it. I'm not saying it's like that for everyone but that's what happened to me. When I was in my mid 20s I met HIM - The One" - and you know what? I wished so much that I was a virgin, wished that I had held onto it so that it would be special and that I could give that gift to him. <br />
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I don't necessarily feel that you need to be married, but certainly it's a beautiful thing to be able to hold onto and offer to the right partner. I can't count the number of times I regretted throwing mine away so easily.<br />
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Reardless of whether or not you wait til you are married I would advise you not to ever rush into it or ever allow yourself to feel pressured about it. If you ever feel pressured about it then it's not the right time, be true to yourself and you'll know when it's right.<br />
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I commend your maturity, you sound like a very secure, self-respecting young woman - never sell yourself short x x x x

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Thanks for your answer. I do sometimes get worried that if I get a boyfriend then I won't be able to control myself and then regret it! What you said is true, virginity is special and should be given away only when the time is right. Thanks again! :)

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I'm a virgin and I plan on staying one until I'm married- I've never had a boyfriend but when i do meet a guy and the only thing he thinks about me is having sex, then he's probably not the right one so why bother. Also, I think our culture needs to value virginity more for the beauty it really is.

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There isn't.. I can only think of bad reasons.

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Im a 21 year old and still a virgin i sometimes feel like i need to lose it soon because i feel so out of place :/ but since i read these comments it really has helped me more to respect my body and wait for the right one :) it's hard when i meet guys because they all tend to lead to something sexual... I just say he ain't the one and if he was I'll wait till matures up :)

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if your husband is a lousy lay, you'll never know the difference

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It will feel way better. Things are always better when you wait for them, and when they are done free of guilt.

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avoiding std's , diseases, unwanted children, abortions, having a good reputation, won't have to deal with emotional heartache of being used by some. You can still have a lot of fun with a guy without having to go "all the way".

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None---although I think it is right to save it for somebody you are absolutely in love with ---as long as they feel the same about you. The pervs out there may disagree, but sex is highly over rated if it has no emotional meaning.

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Don't do sex.

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The real reason for ( young ) you is so that you will NOT get pregnant! <br />
But, this outdated fallacy of "saving yourself til marriage" only tells me that you are very likely going to be another of these kids who RACES into marriage and having a few quick kids, because it's "god's will", etc. I HOPE you won't be! But.......<br />
Look around on EP at all of these 18-21, even 21-25 yr old 'girls' who are complaining their 'husband's don't have sex<br />
with them anymore, are cheating, they are trapped", etc....!!!!<br />
To get married ONLY because you want to have sex-- but your silly religion frowns upon it- is just WRONG! Outdated!<br />
Good luck to you. Be careful! Do well in school.<br />
Make your OWN decisions. Sincerely........

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hmmm...if you break it or not, just remember your closet for life is what you choose to keep pure with all the above intentions or otherwise, organize the la<x>yers to come internally like a baggage.<br />
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no one knows you more but yourself.<br />
peace.

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Honestly I think talking about sex in any way with your parents is a bad idea. I am all for sex before marriage as long as you are safe and in love, but since you aren't going to do that, I advise trying to date people who have the same ideals as you. When you become tempted be sure you are in love and if it happens it happens. If they are a virgin too it will give you both more incentive to wait (thats supposing you want to marry each other). A man should respect how you feel no matter his religion and if he doesn't find someone who is respectful. You will know when he is the right one. One mistake I know can happen is.. I knew some kids in high school who were both virgins. They were the first of my class to get married (dated for about 6 months) I assume just so they could have sex. About a year later they divorced, I don't know why exactly but I do know that they shoved in everyones faces how they were more "pure" because they were waiting like good Christian kiddies. Maybe they both sucked in bed and only found out once they were married and did it together for the first time. I am not saying of course that every one who waits to have sex is like this but you could run into a similar problem so make sure you're sure! Good luck.

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there are no good reasons to stay a virgin. if you're religious and are questioning why you should stay a virgin, then it can't be a good enough reason by itself for you. just as long as you're ready, then i don't see why not. nobody has to find out if that's what you're worried about!

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I think that it is great that you are saving yourself for marriage. I am the same as you in that aspect. What are other reasons? Well there are many. Some that even go unnoticed. For example, it keeps you strong and keeps all the wrong guys from crossing your path especially if they know the kind of girl that you are not all but most of the wrong guys. It makes for easier break ups, that way you don't feel as attached. You don't blame yourself for giving in and conforming to what the world says is "okay" or "normal". You stay innocent longer, and in my opinion innocence keeps you young and beautiful. Lastly, more often than not if 5ex is involved it usually doesn't last because the novelty wears off and the search for something new and exciting breaks things up.

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keeps your mind clear and you dont just want to give it away 2 some idiot who will use u then be gone

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Maturity is more of a reason than marriage. You have to be responsible for your actions, practice safe sex and use dependable birth control. Every time.

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Life is much less complicated, you don't need to worry about getting pregnant (Birth control is not guaranteed) or worry about your family finding out.

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Avoiding pregnancy and disease are the best reasons, but if you're careful they aren't an issue. Religion can provide comfort but also heartache.

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fresh meat

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and oink to you too

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