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What are some psychological factors that attract older guys to younger women?

Could any of you offer examples of what a relationship between a younger woman and an older man might involve, beyond the physical/sexual attraction?

I already know older men can be attracted to younger women because of the whole "taut young body" thing! But I'm thinking (hoping!) that isn't all of it. I'm also too young to imagine what's going on in an older man's head. ;)

I'm especially interested in answers from people who are in that situation.

Posted 5 months ago
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What are the "psychological factors" which attract one person to another regardless of age? You either are, or are not attracted to a person - no matter what their age may be.

You can't generalize why a person who's older/younger finds them attractive based strictly on sexual prowess. People can be quite compatible long before sex comes into play.

Having a relationship being 21 years younger than him, I speak from experience. We chatted online and on the phone for six months prior to meeting in person. He was "attracted" to my personality. My attitude. My confidence and intelligence. We didn't even exchange photos until before we met.

OK. So now you want to take it from a what if you meet on the street sort of approach? Fine. If you meet somewhere locally and there's an apparent age difference, yes, physical attraction can be there off the bat, because you're SEEING each other in the flesh. But, it holds little in the way of anything substantial and is quite common with those who meet locally and don't have an age difference.

My point to all of this is, no matter what your age, no matter WHY you become attracted to someone, in order for any relationship to have longevity, there has to be more than JUST physical attraction to keep it working.
Posted 5 months ago

Other 20 Answers to What are some psychological factors that attract older guys to younger women?


Posted Jun 6th, 2009 at 9:22PM
It's partially ego...If a younger woman finds us desirable then we must really have it goin on...I think too most of us men try to not grow up and having a young partner helps us to avoid that, it offers us an excuse to act imature. typically when women have to put up with us long enough they become pretty angry towards men in general and that anger directed at us makes women in there thirtys and fortys hard to be close to I think....It's a catch22. Men in their thirtys also start having sex drive issues and a younger woman can help compensate for that a bit ...(a) by being hot and (b) by not having as big a sex drive in many cases as a older woman and (c) not being nearly as experienced as an older woman making the performance anxiety less...I'm sure there is alot more to it than that...
personally I find women of all ages attractive but there is defenately something to be said for a woman who is still sexy in her 30 and 40's
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Posted Jun 7th, 2009 at 2:07AM
Hi, I agree with the first answer to your question by TopazSkye. My husband is 21 years older than I am and has often said that in his head he doesn't feel like an "older man" so I think it is also as koyptakh said, they are attracted to the vibrancy of younger women's minds. I know my husband has often said he is appreciative of the fact that I am open minded and willing to go against the grain if it feels right for us. He also said that his Ex wives were set in their ways and selfish because they wanted everything their own way and were unwilling to compromise.
For me personally, I have much respect for my Husband, he is mentally stronger than his younger counter parts, less flighty and more dependable plus, better in bed as he has had longer to learn! I feel loved, protected and cared for in a way I never did with younger partners.
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Posted Jun 6th, 2009 at 2:17PM
I think those that are younger tend to live on the edge a little more...they aren't so caught up in the fear of 'whats next'
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Posted Jun 6th, 2009 at 4:28PM
Hi TheOnlyConstantIsChange
I think the main psychological factor is to do with the vibrancy of a young adult woman's mind. Of course this only applies with specific pairings of people but on ep I have found lots of young adult women who it is a real pleasure to talk with.
I have also met women older and younger who I have enjoyed talking with too. I think there is a wonder about early adult years though and a pleasure to interact with.

Women have very different lives to men. ep is an amazing way to actually be able to talk directly with women - never possible outside of academia perhaps.

Sexuality is an issue but the fun of flirting lightly is just friendly. Frisson need not be heavy or abusive.

Surely younger women are attracted to older men for the same reason: to talk to other humans about their experiences. That is more than enough.

This is a great question which I will reflect on more. I love my relationships with all my friends but treasure those with younger women. Friends and sisters and fun too.
:)
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Posted Jun 6th, 2009 at 4:26PM
How about the thought of making the guy feel like a kid again. Not to mention what a great ego booster it is.

Old lions still need to roar every once in a while. Just to let themselves know they still can.
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Posted Aug 21st, 2009 at 5:48PM
There are a few different factors at play to consider.

First off, the "taut young body" you mentioned is one of the important ones. However, this is not simply defined as a shallow quality of men. As men are physically stimulated, and younger women are generally more physically attractive to most men, this is easily understood.

In addition, younger women are more fertile. Regardless if a man is interested in having children or not, this is a quality that lies within men's biological making, far out of range of the conscious awareness or one's personal "tastes." Women who are young, healthy and well-built have a better chance of producing offspring and nurturing them into healthy children.

Men also go through their sexual prime at a much earlier age. Most men have already left that time when their female partners of equal age are just beginning to find theirs. While many older, mature men can see the benefits of being with a sexually mature, experienced woman, the biological urge to reproduce oftentimes overrides their cognitive preferences for a woman who is of equal age or older.
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Posted Jun 6th, 2009 at 2:49PM
I'm with Betty and youneverknow. In addition to the younger woman's beauty, the older man's greater knowledge of life puts him in a powerful position. This is a great turn on for him.
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Posted Jun 6th, 2009 at 4:01PM
There is a branch of psychology that studies these kind of issues, it is called Evolutionary Psychology.
If you are truly interested, go here
http://academicearth.org/lectures/what-motivates-us-sex
This is actually a fun lecture about attraction from Prof. Paul Bloom at Yale University.
This class is about studies in psychology on sex and gender differences. Students learn how psychology can help explain many of the differences that exist in whom we find attractive, what we desire in a mate, and sexual orientation.
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Posted Jun 6th, 2009 at 3:22PM
By nature men are very competetive, so I believe that they like to have a young lover by their sides not just as a show of virility, but also as a way of saying ``hey buddy, mines better than yours``. I know its horrible, but I`ve known a couple of men in my lifetime who boast about their ladies the way they would their cars, their careers, their houses, posessions, or the size of whats swinging between their legs.
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Posted Jun 6th, 2009 at 4:27PM
Older guys (like any guys) are likely to be attracted to younger women because they are more likely to be fertile. Maybe they're not aware that that is the reason, but that's what it is.
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Posted Jun 6th, 2009 at 4:29PM
being very generic in my answer but the recapturing of youth for men and security and father figure for the young lady.
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Posted Aug 21st, 2009 at 5:51PM
I think you're right in your suspicion (in contrast to some other answers) that younger women are psychologically appealing as well.

For one, people who tend to be dominant in relationships appreciate the increased level of respect typically given to the older, 'wiser' person. Younger women can also be more open, whereas people with a more fixed view of who they are and what they like may not seek out new experiences. Younger women can be more accepting, simply from not yet having their opinion formed about certain things, so it may be easier to open up to them as well. Lastly, less time on earth typically means less baggage, fewer exes, fewer children, fewer sins of previous male figures which you must inevitably heal or attone for.

Of course all this should serve to remind us that youth can be a state of mind as well, there's nothing to prevent one from embracing these qualities, regardless of age.
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Posted Jun 6th, 2009 at 10:17PM
Older guys never think they are old, while they usually know how to use their money and experience.
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Posted Jun 6th, 2009 at 1:54PM
A BIOLOGICAL URGE TO REPRODUCE????
hahahahahahaha

Ego.
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Posted Jun 6th, 2009 at 5:32PM
Of course that isn't all. What else does a younger woman offer other than less experience and hot bod?
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Posted Jun 6th, 2009 at 5:54PM
Young women, old men...I would venture to say that this has existed for Lord knows how long. remember trying to befriend or ask the girls in your grade out and they were too enveloped in the guys from two or three grades higher. Remember what those guys wanted with them? It's simple as an older male you're more often than not some young woman's God-like figure. You see, an an older male you look like you have your **** together, you look like you know what you want, you look more mature and it is presumed you're more apt to deal with problems and teach the young girls about the world. World experience is like a super mario power-up to most younger women who are into older men. I'd argue they lack the guidance that educates them well enough for them to understand that age doesn't necessarily equal maturity.

(Generic situation)
And so a young woman gets with an older guy right? They get into a relationship....she finds herself in love...he believes she worships him, they get married maybe or maybe not...they have a child....over the years she sees that that he's not at all what she expected but feels locked in...he never had to deal with her questioning before...she's doing so simply because she's naive...or maybe she wants to know something genuinely...sooner or later he leaves or she realizes that she doesn't want him to be the role model for their child...he leaves most likely...but in rare cases she leaves.....the child grows up without a father figure and soon enough he's the one some girl in a lower grade is just head over heels in love with...it's a cycle that perpetuates itself ad continuum. THen again life is about choices and sometimes people have a pattern for choosing certain age brackets of the opposite sex because of various reasons. What can I say life is a traffic jam. Who can ever make sense of it all?
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Posted Jun 6th, 2009 at 6:25PM
They are the same factors that attract older women to younger guys. Younger people are more attractive. The key difference is that younger women are prepared to go with older men because they have a proven track record and are still fertile. You need to brush up on your evolutionary biology - try reading Introducing Evolutionary Psychology by Dylan Evans.
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Posted Jun 6th, 2009 at 7:53PM
they are sucking your life force,,,but in the end the yourger ones end up sucking the older ones energy,,,very funny,,,so my anwser is it is your life force that attracts them,,,and your life force absurbs theirs,,,unless they have a stronger will,,,then the older could absorb your life force,,,so be strong willed,,,Love and Light Mary
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Posted Jun 6th, 2009 at 8:54PM
I dunno...but I wish they would leave me alone!! I don't like older men, and that's about all that come around me...old enough to be my daddy in the grave...ugh!!
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