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What are the consequences of having an abusive father and passive mother?

if a boy raises watching his dad beating up, humiliting, oppressing or scaring his mother how does it affect in him when he becomes a teen

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    endofseptember - 22-25 years old - female

    Posted by endofseptember Apr 29th, 2012 at 8:40AM

    he will probably do the same. he generally wont respect women.
    this one guy i used to work with, he said he loved his mother but didnt respect her. which didnt really make sense to me, but it showed me what camp he was in, thats 4 sure. kind of a red flag when someone cant even respect his own mother

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4 Answers to "What are the consequences of having an abusive father and passive mother?"

  1. BabzEsq24 - 46-50 years old - female

    Posted by BabzEsq24 Apr 29th, 2012 at 8:59AM

    Reversed-abusive mother and not as abusive father-get help- I'm 50 still working it out- Your coping and resiliance run out- the rushed relationships in your 20s, the drinking, all the other ways to cope with the pain, beatings, harsh words, neglect, confusion as to what you did to deserve it, being told to keep secrets- I can go on for pages-it runs out and you are an addict or a booze hound or detached from people-it' s because you were abused during crutical years when you were supposed to be loved and nurtured and learn your selfworth and value- Suddenly you are an adult and are clueless. Get help asap

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  2. worrier2012 - 18-21 years old - male

    Posted by worrier2012 Apr 29th, 2012 at 8:48AM

    Well speaking from experience.... I don't really know how it affected me. Because I never got a chance to separate from my father and my mom and dad have simply gotten over those violent spats when I was a kid and we live like nothing happened. I forgave him i thought, but sometimes I get depressed and I really hate my dad and my mum and dad have said before its that I cause problems ie by not doing uni work (failing a module) then using that as an excuse or drinking too much then blaming him. Which is true. I dont know how i feel. I just know if i was straight and had a wife id treat her with such respect and love her so much and be the best father and not put my child through anxiety. Having to respect the man that caused all that was hard. Hmmm, i dont know. I just think my life is a bit of a **** up. The line of ****** up-ness really began from my childhood and now im at rock bottom. Drugs, booze, and i think i may fail uni. My body which was previously very healthy... i feel like im just not healthy inside at all!! i dont know how i feel about my past. I blocked it out but i could think about it and go insane but i dont. I want to know sometimes but i disconnected with how I feel. I dont know how i feel about anything.

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  3. Missalaineyeus - 46-50 years old - female

    Posted by Missalaineyeus Apr 29th, 2012 at 8:36AM

    He may hate his mother; align himself with "being a man" like his father;since he was taught to disrespect and abuse women. He will more than likely "do what he was taught".

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