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I'm transferring to another college that's 6 hours away from home in about two weeks and I don't have my room assignment yet. I'll most likely be in a double room (meaning I'll have a roommate). I really don't like the idea of sharing a room, especially with a stranger, and not having my privacy. I worry that I won't get along with them, or that they'll be really nosy or try to take my things, but I know it might be a way I can make a new friend at the same time. What were your experiences with college roommates? What were the pros and cons, and do you have any tips for how someone who's used to having a room of their own can adjust to sharing it with a stranger?
GuitarGirl19 GuitarGirl19 22-25, F 4 Answers Jan 4, 2013 in Dating & Relationships

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The pro is that it saves you money. <br />
The con is that you don't have your personal space, and if you have different preferences it can lead to some conflict (ex: neat freak roommate paired with a messy roommate).<br />
A lot of people will disagree with me, but I think it is better not to seek friendship in roommates until you no longer have to share a room. Be courteous and friendly, but don't try to be best friends. I found it harder to have boundaries, 'peace and quiet' and time alone when I was friends with my roommates. That room will be the only place you can unwind and clear your head. I had a roommate meet me at the door almost every day and go on for 4 hours about ex-bf problems. I really value her as a friend, and still do, but sometimes you have your own problems and just want to go home and crash.<br />
Also, I try not to bother roommates unless something is life-threatening. Ex: If someone doesn't do their dishes, I won't say anything even if it bothers me. Especially with girls, they can get over-sensitive, and when drama hits, it's hard to shake off. Guys are more casual about these things, but girls can take them personally. That has been my experience.

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Thanks for the honest answer and for the advice. I thought trying to be friends with roommates would make things easier, but I'm glad you helped me see it in a different way. I'm not really going there to make friends anyway... I'm the studious and solitary type.

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Thank you. This was just my experience, and different things work for different people. I hope you will be able to strike a balance between your wellbeing and forming a friendship. Good luck with the transition.

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I always lived off campus for my eight years of college. I believe in hindsight that the best college social life comes from fully immersing yourself in the college experience, which means living on campus. The worst risk is proximity to rowdy drunks and loud music from students who really don't care about learning. Dorms with single-occupancy rooms are in high demand. Try to get into a dorm where occupants are required to pledge to remain alcohol and drug free, if you want it super quiet.

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I did the best I could - I put in my preferences that I wanted to live in the substance-free part of my building. They have one in every building, I believe. That's a good tip, though. Thanks!

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It totally sucks. I dealt with it for one semester, then I moved in with my girlfriend (yes we were gay) for the rest of the four years.

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