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I don't think I can keep lying to myself...
KnightOfJustice KnightOfJustice 18-21, M 33 Answers Oct 22, 2012 in Health

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Borrow someone elses. This is why I say to many, "I believe in you even when you don't believe in yourself."

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Hope is never gone. Sometimes we just don't see it.

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sleep, sleep, and sleep

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then you are free, "i hope nothing, i fear nothing, i am free". nothing to loose, you can live anyway you want

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I have nothing to hold on to in this life... I keep looking but I can never find it, I cannot live how I want.

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you cant llive in the way you idealize your life to be,thats impossible, we dont get a lot of the things we deserve or want, learn that now, it took me alot of years to cope with that, but we do get the choice to do what we want with what we have, i have been seriously faced with disease, i have looked death in the eye, you dont know the feeling of being in the doctors office waiting for your life to be over, complete an absolute loneliness has been my companion for many years, and the only thing i learned was that regret is useless, and that actions and taking risks while aiming for the better is all there is to living a good life, you give meaning to your life through your choices, every second is an open opportunity for overcoming yourself

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When I was 11 years old I had a surgery on my spinal cord which left my paralyzed from the waste down, slowly have I recovered but the damage was permanent, and I still battle my injury to this day, and will for the rest of my life. You say you have seen death? I have seen hell, I have seen the loneliness, the hopelessness, the agony... I am supposed to go to school everyday and watch as people live their healthy lives, while I wish for something that I will never have again.

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if you don't find anything to hold on to then you will fall. hard. if you do not value and spend time on yourself, have you tried giving value and spending time with others? try some of the volunteer programs in your local area or on craigslist..something. i think giving other people a sense of value could also make you feel more of value yourself.

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I need to fix myself, before I can fix others. A broken mind cannot fix another.

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I will not tell you god is the answer, because god may not be the answer. - - - I will not tell you I understand or know how you feel, because I don't. - - - But I will say this: Your mind is perplexed or confused. It is as if you are at the bottom of a mountain, and you lack the hope and motivation to climb it - - - The truth is that you are not your chair. When I look at you, I look at the person (who believes they are trapped by it). - - - I cannot remove a sliver with my fingers, I use tool (tweezers). Your chair is a tool. - - - You can look at the sliver, and do nothing (remain in your darkness [this I know about] and let the sliver infect the wound), or you can pick up the tweezers and remove the sliver that will fester overtime, causing weakness and despair. - - - I am not going to tell you that others have it worse, because you are focused on you - - - We all have challenges in life we have to fight. I cannot fight yours and you cannot fight mine. - - - Mine, I do not care for, but I fight. Why, because there are others there in the darkness that need someone to be next to them so they don't feel alone - - - Had my attempts of suicide been successful, I would not have been able to save a 12 year old girl, or a 15 year old girl, or a 24 year old man, or told a 16 year old girl that she didn't have to be afraid (she smiled and then closed her eyes and died) - - - I did not know any of these things were in my future when I felt hopeless and wanted to die - - - You have a purpose. I believe you when you say you are tired. I was tired. - - - You said: "I need to fix myself, before I can fix others.". I am not trying to fix you, I am trying to use these words to guide you - - - You are needed. I don't know by who, and I don't know when. But if you are not there, another will be where you are now, yearning for words that can guide them out of the mire that has them trapped - - - Turn your head, look in a different direction, flex the muscles you have and use them and use your tool to go around the mountain. - - - It is your choice, but I will not push you, because that will cause you to depend on another instead of yourself - - - May you not suffer though this, but learn from it and move forward in your life. Message me if you feel compelled to do so (you can even scream at me if you like).

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3 More Responses

hope some more?.

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bring back all that hope again!

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I cannot bring back something that is gone forever.

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yes you can.

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Hope is never gone! If it was, we'd just give up on the spot and sit there for the next 65 years of our lives. There is always hope! Even if it's a little drop, doesn't matter! :D Waking up everyday is hope! If other people are trying to kill that hope, **** them. They dont matter! :D

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I keep going until hope comes back.<br />
I also arrange my life such that people need me. <br />
If people need me, I can't kill myself...and sometimes I feel like it.<br />
<br />
I haven't got something that causes me tons of physical pain like you.<br />
<br />
However, I have asthma, sinusitis, a more ordinary bad back, migraines, PTSD flashbacks, agoraphobia, panic attacks, severe depression, and something approaching Dissociative Identity Disorder.<br />
One of the people in my head wants me to kill myself every time I mess up.

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Be with your self, be honest to yourself ....you'll find your answers. Peace at-last !!

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try again later"it actually works"

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Mortgage all your red hotels and green houses and pray that you land on Free Parking.

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I think we are suppose to adapt and exempt life on lifes,terms... And realized we can't change the past or make PPL do what we want

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I don't want to change the past, or make people do anything.

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Embrace the past and use your knowledge to stand you in good stead for the future.

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I'm sorry.... I was assuming u felt that way cuz I do... I just wish I could fix things that I can't control ..

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get a puppy who's got a lot of energy. sometimes a person just needs a push to the break in the clouds.

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Take off your pants and dance in public.

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Try to think about the second option..

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Take yourself off to a children's' cancer ward and do some volunteer work. There you will rediscover hope and be of use to others, too.

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I refuse to go back to the hospital unless I need to, it hurts so much to relive it all.

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Maybe they do need you. You have choices in your life. Try to help yourself, you've still got a hell of a lot of life to live yet. Listen to the oldies when they tell you that fro the age of 17 to 21 you will change considerably. Your views will change, your outlook will change and your raging hormones will change. From the age of 21-25, you will change again. The thing is though, YOU have a choice whether you want to wallow in self pity or whether you want to be happier in life. Everyone has had heartache, problems, issues in their life, I've yet to meet a person that hasn't. It's up to you whether you change this. Change the way you think. If you can, take some sessions with a cognitive counsellor. They will help you to see the glass half full instead of half empty. Best wishes for the future. Your future x

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Rekindle a fresh barrage of hopes.Never say die.

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Re-assess things, and figure out what's not working, and then, change it!<br />
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Shake things up:<br />
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Clean and re-organize your room.<br />
Cook yourself a fantastic meal.<br />
Jump up and down as long as you can until you get tired.<br />
Plant flowers.<br />
Bake cookies.<br />
Kiss puppies.<br />
Do something that reminds you who you are.<br />
Make a list of things that you've always thought it would be cool to do, and then do one of them.<br />
Draw an amazing picture.<br />
Do something that's completely out of character.<br />
Pick a song and learn how to rap it.<br />
Compose a dance routine.<br />
Watch a TED Talk- some of my favorites:<br />
<br />
http://www.ted.com/talks/matt_cutts_try_something_new_for_30_days.html (WATCH THIS!!! ONLY 5 MINUTES, BUT INSPIRING.)<br />
<br />
http://www.ted.com/talks/amy_cuddy_your_body_language_shapes_who_you_are.html (Slightly longer than 5 minutes, but equally inspiring)<br />
<br />
And then get to work and find a place where hope can exist for you again ^.^b

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kissing puppies saved countless lives...

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if you've gotten to that point...just take one day at a time, one foot in front of the other one day at a time...you never know what's waiting just around the corner..life can change when you least expect it.

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I've been doing that for so long now, I don't know how much longer I can keep moving forward before I collapse.

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sometimes you need to step up to life to...do something different, involve yourself with people, an interest..that's always a good start.

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Keep living. And talk2 som1 like a counselor or therepist

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