Some kids have a mean streak that has nothing to do with you. I know your heart is breaking and that you love your daughter because it comes through your writings. I feel for you. I think your daughter gets some perverse pleasure in your unhappiness. This is a characteristic that people are born with, so don't go blaming yourself. It is a need for power, in a life of low self-esteem and powerlessness. It is not about you.
The hardest part is that your daughter doesn't care about your heartbreak. Whatever that reward of hurting you is for her on an emotional level, it is greater than building a relationship. She comes to you when in trouble or in need. It is not about you. My heart goes out to you. I hope life beats her up enough that she changes and learns the reward of love and the worth of it.
My daughter's is 25 yearsold. she was always so caring and lovable. started changing, no communication, no mothers day cards, no birhday card, lives alone has friends come over makes dinner for them, but has never invited me to her appartment.
no don't take revenge, I'm all for tough love but not in this case...she is communicating something to you, now you really need to hear whats being said. Has she reason to be angry with you? is she so busy with her own life she just forgot? is she doing to get attention? she is your DAUGHTER and let go of your need to be acknowledged - let it go, she does not owe you anything after a certain age unless she chooses it. If she is a selfish person, then face that...whatever it is, accept it and stop stressing, can you call her and tell her you are disappointed you didn't get a card because she is important to you in your life etc.
yeah, been there ,done that, have the T-shirt....what works for me is acceptance and complete trust in my love for him...He always comes round...in the end of I manage my rage well
Do nothing. This is passive aggressive behavior designed to provoke you.
It's hard to do nothing. Think of dieting to lose weight or not picking up a cigarette to stop smoking.
I have reached the end of my patience with my kid but I still love her and hope she can get over whatever it is that makes her so nasty to me - in silence - before she makes this behavior a family tradition which will revert to her when she has her own children.
It's hard. I sympathize.
Try ignoring her on her birthday and see if she gets the hint...I don't actually recommend you do this but sometimes people need a little tough love.
There could be a reason for this or maybe she just sees it as a useless reason to 'prove' her love to you. I'm sure she loves you but doesn't feel the need to conform to society's rules on how and when to show our loved ones we care. It's just a cash grab for retailers anyway. Like a mini christmas. I don't particularly go all out on mother's for my mom either but taking her to brunch or sending her flowers is usually a nice gesture to show her I care.
ask her if she would like to celebrate by going out to lunch with you. That is what I do. Sometimes they are justm short on money for what ever reason. Time to me is of much importance.
Glad to know we are not the only ones. I will just not bother to call or email or text anymore.
My Daughter will be 30 in November. And she treats me the exact same way as your daughter does you. It's Heartbreaking. when my phone rings and I see that it's her, I know before I even answer it, that she's gonna ask for something. That's the only time she ever calls.Mother's Day, Birthdays, come and go, and Nothing, I Love her so much and it just eats away at me. But I know how you feel and I sincerely sympathize with you.
My 21 yr old daughter acts the same way. Reading the replies to your question has helped some. Me and her dad have literally given up our lives for her, given her anything and everything she could ever want/need to have in this life. People tell us that is the problem -- we have given too much. Now she has reached the age where we would like to see some feedback, some emotional talk/display of affection from her ...but we get nothing. She acts like she hates us and we don't know why. I have replayed and reviewed her entire life and just cannot figure this out. She is our one and only. It truly breaks my heart......I sympathize with you. Good luck with your daughter......I pray mine will come around.
I have deliberately ignored my mother for years... I've just wanted her to be honest to me - I mean, really emotionally honest to me. So if you have suspicions about why she is ignoring you on Mother's day, address them, voice them, and be really, really, really open about how she is making you feel. (I would write this in a letter rather than email or phone etc.). Then again, if she's only ignoring you on Mother's day, get over it! You're a lucky mom if that's the only time she's not showing her affection or appreciation. Don't try to control her - she's an adult and can live her life as she pleases and may just not believe in the Mother's Day consumer palaver! Who knows, it's her prerogative. But it's yours to tell her (really tell her, emotionally and honestly, I mean) how it effects you.
Consider the fact that you're being stressed by someone's inaction. This is absurd. They do nothing and you stress?
apparently your not a mother
We don't have enough input.
Is this the only day she ignores you? Does she feel guilty she doesn't have the money to buy you a gift? I assume that would be really hard...I have a biological mother I barely know, there is no way in hell I'm gonna go out of my way to spit on her on mother's day if she was on fire....but once when I was 14 during the same conversation she asked me when my birthday was and how to spell my name...SHE named me!
My daughter said nothing for my anniversery, Nothing!
I would take a good hard look at how I have interacted with her. I'm not pointing any fingers, but we can be blind to our own ways. If I DID come up with something that may have caused her to distance herself from me, then I would apologize for it. If I DIDN'T come with a reason that she may have distanced herself from me -- then I would ask her -- "is there some reason that we are not closer than we are?" and then LISTEN open mindedly and open heartedly. I hope you and your daughter are able to draw close together.
I have ask that question too and she always says, There's nothing wrong.
Maybe she doesn't ignore you, maybe she doesn't know what day is Mothers day.