Be thankful, and make a vow to yourself to use your life wisely and for the benefit of others
Stop doubting what you do and asking why you are alive and start being thankful that you are. Be patient and positive, being negative only makes whatever situation you are in worse. ALSO being the Best at everything doesn't make your life better, sometimes it could make your life worse. The stress of trying to fit in came burden you to the point of giving up.<br />
“The two hardest tests on the spiritual road are the patience to wait for the right moment and the courage not to be disappointed with what we encounter.” <br />
― Paulo Coelho
man alot of you kids are ****** up, well get a job and see if it gets you moving and put your **** away mom is watching
There is no universal meaning of life. You find your own, ba<x>sed on what, if anything, gives you joy. So, to answer your question ("what can I do? etc.), spend some time exploring things that might give your life meaning. Only you can know what that might be.
Make your time count. Whatever skills you have, you should put them to constructive use.
Constructive work is simply good work. There is no requirement to be perfect.
You weren't perfect. You are simply human. To succeed in life one need realistic goals and perfection beyond the scope of a particular activity is not a realistic goal. You need to examine why you have fixated on the idea of you previous perfection. It sounds as if your perceptions may be holding you back.
Take advantage of the situation and choose to be someone you respect so much, they are worth the effort of having around.