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My boyfriend has recently been having some trouble with some projects at work, and added to some other stresses in his life, it's getting him really upset and sad. He's so cryptic sometimes it's hard to tell what he's feeling but I know something's not right with him. I know he's not telling me everything about work because I simply don't know what he's talking about with all the computer networking. But when he gets as upset as he does, I have trouble finding the right words to comfort him. I know I can't fix it, but I want to at least help. I know it's hard not knowing him or the full situation, but does anyone have any advice?
gracefulghost gracefulghost 18-21, F 19 Answers Jul 9, 2009

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Just look him in the eye with loving batting eyes. Give him a big hug. If that does not do it then he has maturity issues and probably not the best b/f in the long run.

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you can just let hm relax by not buthering hm with too many question, you can prepare a cup of tea for hm and kss him and tel him that everything s gonna be just fine, and he doesn't have to worry, don't forget to tell him that you love him every day

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My boy friend said he had a terrible dream,and he said ' i went to the future and i saw my wife and it want you and i asked what happened to us and my future self said we broke up. I asked why and he said that you cheated on me and i asked when and he said that it would happen in a coyple of minutes at my time so i went back and found you i punched the guy you were cheating on me with and i walked out. You ran after me and we started screaming at each other. you asked if i could get over it and i said i couldnt take another heart break =^( i woke up and i was really sad and worried' what should I do he's really upset

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poop in a toilet and let him smell it. trust me from my own experience he will like it and calm down.

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My boyfriend is upset him say it's not me but i just want to make him happy. What can i do what can i say?

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do what my girlfriend does..ignore me and just makes it all worst..after she starts the fight and blames me....

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It depends on your man. Most men like to have some space to figure things out.. but wether they are talkers or thinkers, you can't go wrong with spreading on the I love yous and reminding them of why they are special to you. "And if you need to talk, I'm here. And if you don't, I'll just walk this path at your side." Then be silent and do that. If he wants to talk, LISTEN (we girls can be bad at this!) and if he doesn't, ACCEPT IT (we're even worse at that because we WANT the details and sometimes they just don't HAVE any details.. they just want to mull things over.)<br />
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Either way, just love him through it and don't feel left out if he doesn't want to talk. Just understand what HE needs is more important if HE's the one under strain. <br />
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Everyone needs a safe place to cry, so that's ok too.. (it doesn't have to mean he's unmanly AT ALL!)<br />
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Go gently.

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Keep in mind that some people love the drama, and dumping it off on someone else. You might notice too that when he does go off about "someone else" he gets off on upsetting you. If that is the case, ignore him, leave the room and go out. When he has no one to vent and ruin their day about unresolved issues- he will finally grow tired of it and get along. <br />
Sorry sweetie, but he is using up your energy on this earth on negative thinking. I get the impression your one of a delicate nature, and you've hooked up with a vacuum cleaner that thrives on this. Trust me...I know.

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I usually rub my husbands back, and say i don't know how to help, but i will try in anything you think might help. <br />
Just give him big hug, and tell him i love him. <br />
Good luck.

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Ignore him until he calms down

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hugs and kisses?

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This probably isn't helpful to you. But it just may be to him. Give him some space. Do things for him to take his load off. (Cook, Iron shirts, Whatever {I know these are sexist examples; You know what he needs to get through his day}) Then stand back and let him work through it. (Probably the hardest part for you) If he wants to talk, he will. But he's probably processing all that is happening and you are only adding noise as far as he's concerned. If you keep it up he may just explode in your direction. He'll let you know when he's ready to resume normal service.

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Two choices: Love and support him or tell him to shut up and grow up.

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I'm useless at offering decent advice, don't worry. As long as you tell him you're there if he wants to talk that should be OK.

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Just be caring and kind....that's really all you can do, and offer an ear, if he ever needs to talk about it...tell him you are there for him....

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Im kind of in the same boat right now. Usually my man is very happy go lucky but work and life has been throwing him a few curve balls lately and in his words 'he's breaking'. Its hard to see him upset and crying, I want to cry. I take the situation as it comes. If he's distracted and in his own world, wants to play games or watch a show, don;t try to talk to him just be with him, even next to him, with reassuring head rubs and random kisses. If he's in the mood to talk let him vent, be empathetic 'damn that sounds tough, aww baby that must suck'. Reassure him it's going to be Ok, it will work out. Try to be ok in yourself and not put stressors on him with your problems - the last thing they need is to know their loved one is upset too makes it 10 times harder. Do nice things for him, give him a back rub or a leg rub or foot rub, clean the room, make him coffee, i even wrote on a white board a whole bunch of comforting messages for him when he got home. If he is confused about what to do in life explore his options openly with him, don;t push. Explore pros and cons of all options from a curious standpoint. Be sure not to lead him, be a soundboard for him to talk off of. Guys love solutions too so try to lay out all of the options you can see and explore those with him what works for him. Be mindful of your tone of voice when you talk to him, be as caring and soft as you can be to help him calm down and see life rationally. Generally try to make life easier for him hey, with lots of cuddles and support, unconditional love - no matter what happens you are happy with him is very reassuring.

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