What determines a "good" partner?

Asked By: Ribboned 18-21, F 5 months ago

So I feel my long-term boyfriend is incapable of giving help. Like he wouldn't know that I am struggling with my bags or its late and I want a ride home. However, I know if asked, he don't mind helping. It just seem that he is oblivious when someone needs help. My friends think its a bad trait and I should leave him since he is not attentive to me. I want to seek advice from the general public if that personality is a minor flaw or a sign he is not a very good partner.

Edit/
I dont really like asking for help like other girls do or think I should do because i dont want to feel like im taking advantage. If I can do it myself, why not? No matter how tough, you just have to fight it out. But it would be nice to have help.

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Posted by Sbgf225 1 Jan 9th, 2013 at 9:26AM

So hes not a good partner because he doesn't read your mind? Have you told him you want him to 'initiate helping?' It sort of sounds like your mind is already made up

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Reply by Ribboned Jan 9th, 2013 at 9:37AM

I honestly feel that this is something I should accept as his personality. But since I dont have much experience with boyfriends (he is my first boyfriend), I thought people who have more experience might know better. I dont want to give him unnecessary pressure if 'looking out for people who need help' is not his forte.
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Reply by Sbgf225 Jan 9th, 2013 at 9:39AM

It sounds like there's a specific incident you have in mind. You need to communicate with him about it. Especially if you feel as strongly as you seem to
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7 Answers to "What determines a "good" partner?"

Posted by charlottesbed Jan 9th, 2013 at 9:42AM

A good partner is one who meets your needs willingly, who sees and encourages the best in you, who helps you be your best self.

A great partner is one who seems to do that naturally!

Charlotte

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Reply by davyjo Jan 9th, 2013 at 9:49AM

True. But the issue of "mind reading" is still tricky. Because on one hand you want your partner to be attentive enough to anticiapte your needs, but, practically, there is no way he/she will be able to read your mind on everything, or even most things.
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Reply by charlottesbed Jan 9th, 2013 at 10:02AM

I'd argue that they can on most things, in some cases. But you are absolutely right. We (any of us) can't EXPECT our partners to read our minds. But when they pay enough attention to us that they guess right a lot... it's heaven.
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Posted by wildfreedom Jan 9th, 2013 at 9:41AM

I wish I knew, however I can't say there is a general answer. Perhaps that is one question unique to each of us, but I would like to think there is some basic level of traits to draw from like kindness, consideration, honesty, and genuine untwisted love to name a few.

What does your heart say?

It is ok to ask him, then you may see his response if you seek the truth. But don't just stay to keep from being alone.

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Reply by Ribboned Jan 9th, 2013 at 9:45AM

My heart tells me to accept for who he is but at the same time, I am afraid that im brainwashed as I have no other experience in relationships.
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Reply by wildfreedom Jan 9th, 2013 at 9:51AM

Have ya'll talked about what each other wants and needs. Don't just be a slave to fill his needs, but not your own. Sometimes a simple 2 column list of pro's and con's can help shed light. Since you are asking the question though I sense you are having some doubts about the relationship.
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Posted by Missie894 Jan 9th, 2013 at 9:36AM

willingness to communicate, before any actions are taking

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Posted by chocomint Jan 9th, 2013 at 9:30AM

I gather there are no specifics ... to each his own. But tell me again, why are you with this crap?

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Posted by noelli Jan 9th, 2013 at 9:27AM

their ability to learn from things asked of them

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Reply by Ribboned Jan 9th, 2013 at 9:30AM

I know. But I dont want to ask for too much like other girls do. It makes me feel like im taking advantage of him. So I dont ask for help very often even though I want them.
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Reply by noelli Jan 9th, 2013 at 9:35AM

he will never learn if you do not ask and you will never learn if he will ever help if you do not ask. guys are trainable teach his *** girl
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Posted by billstickers Jan 9th, 2013 at 9:27AM

sack him now probaly end up beating you

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