A shock feature when their voice goes over 95db

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Louisville Slugger.

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An Acme kicker-in-the-groins

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A mobile phone where it's easier to hear. People speak louder when THEY are having difficulty hearing.

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a brick.......being thrown at their face

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SpeechJammer made by a Japanese guy. It's pretty stupid, but it would be funny to have.

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A stapler!

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ear phone

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