Healing comes with time. Forgiving can be hard. What I've done is researched topics on the web that fit my predicament. Or you can look for a book on amazon or book store.
Here's what spiritual people told me... Forgive in your own time and in your own way, like say a prayer or write all your feelings in a letter and then burn it so you give it up to God/angels/ spirit guide or whoever your higher spirit is. It's a form of release and recognition and the act of burning is a type of ritual so that it can be both a physical and emotional concept for you.
If you don't forgive and hold onto it for years. It will eat away at your soul and you may choose bitterness over love/ keeping your heart open.
My monk told me this story... Be like a bird, use compassion AND WISDOM. So that you may always fly. Love, yes but be careful who, how, when to give your heart. Listen to your inner voice.
As for closure, that's been a tough one for me. That may take time as well. Just don't hold onto hope or love when it's oblivious a guy disrespects/ cheats etc you will only wear out your self esteem. ( as I did)
Try this- get a new hobbie, stay out with friends, volunteer some place/ animals or the needy, or go to the movies often. Do anything to pass time and keep your mind busy, that will help out allot.
I wish you the best through this raw hurtful time. Just keep breathing, tell yourself it's going to be ok... Even if you don't believe it. It will get better I promise. Hugs
This website helped me recently
I've read some inspiring words on there which I hope to put to use in the future as I know it's way too early to forgive or get closure. Written by someone who's been hurt and has managed to forgive, and she's now a life coach! I've been tempted to buy her ebook but I'm gonna try and find a 'free' version first ;-)
I guess you can try to clear your head and try to think of all the good and bad things they did so you can analyse it overall. In the end you either forgive them or you don't. Either way you can still get closure. Just have a sit down and talk. Say everything you need to say. Then leave it at that.
I have forgiven everyone who has done me wrong .
how ? Well I put myself in their shoes , found a reason for their behaviour and discovered what my lesson was is in it . Once I did this , it made it easier .
I forgave for me first and foremost .
Forgive my offenses, as I forgive those that have offended me, because I know that I will be measured with the same yard stick I use to measure other people, and for me to be forgiven I will first have to forgive.
Rise above what they did. Forgiveness is mostly for you to free yourself, not for them.
I hope you get an idea..... I asked a similar question and got a lot of definitions of forgiveness but no real strategies to get there
Process the emotions as far as you can.
Make a choice to forgive.
Adopt an attitude from then on.