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Alta Alta 41-45, F 37 Answers Nov 26, 2009

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If you can get close enough you should P E E on them.

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The worst thing you can do is pester them, as that will make them want to avoid you all the more. It takes patience, but just let it ride, put them to one side for a while as they've put you on one side. Some people just have other things to get on with, while others use ignoring people as a kind of manipulation. It's hard sometimes, but you have to learn to focus on other things.

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Stop giving them things to ignore or act rudely about. Disappear from their lives. Don't waste your time on people who treat you that way. You deserve so much more. Move on.

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this is really difficult for you.



you write "people" rather than one person. if you find several people are behaving in this way towards you, then the likelyhood is that you are doing something that attracts this kind of response. This can be hard to sort out on your own. Could you ask a good friend to be really honest with you, to tell you whe you do or say things that cause irritation or upset? if not, then i would suggest meeting a person centred counsellor to help you understand what is happening. good wishes to you.... learning to understand yourself is not an easy path.... but it is VERY worthwhile.

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ignore them. and concentrate on the people who don't ignore me, who answers my calls, and very nice to me

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robbiew8n put it very well. I actually found this happening to me more than I cared to, friends not getting back to me on hanging out, certain people not answering when I phoned, and I discovered through a very close friend who loved me enough to be honest with me that I was very intense for a lot of people to take sometimes. This was during a time in my life when I was going through a lot, and it wasn't that my friends didn't care, it's just that some folks didn't have the energy for me at the time, if that makes sense. I was coming off as very desperate and clingy, and would also dominate conversations too much. I was grateful that this certain friend had the cajones to actually be truthful with me about it. It was hard to hear a critique on my mannerisms but it also helped me work on them. I think sometimes people avoid others because they are afraid to hurt their feelings if it's something you do that annoys them. If it's not that, usually it's just that people are busy or preoccupied with other things. The people that are not returning your calls...do they have things that keep them very busy? I have one friend I adore to bits and he adores me as well and considers me like family (which he has reassured me of many times over the years), but he is a musician in several bands and is either always on tour or practicing or recording with one of his musical collaborations. So he has trouble getting back with people. For awhile I felt like he wasn't being a good friend, but I adjusted my personal expectations for what makes a "good" friend with him because his life is different from mine. He IS a good friend - when we get to hang out, which is maybe a few times a year. But when we do, it's awesome and we have a great time. So sometimes it's good to accept that certain people just have things going on in their lives that make it hard for them to live up to what most people see as being a good friend. Try adjusting your expectations for certain people based on their lifestyles and you'll find you're far less disappointed in them. For the record, my busy friend rarely calls me first, but always, always returns calls when he can, even if it's a few days later. I have gotten several voicemails from him saying he was glad to hear from me and that it was awesome of me to call and check in. So some people just are genuinely swamped and have a harder time keeping up with correspondence even with people they truly enjoy.

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Just ignore them back! Who the hell they think they are? Don't let them think they got to you. They will rejoice if you do trust me.

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I pretty much just ignore them back. I figure a few good tries and well, nothing back from them, their loss and forget about it. :)

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I endure rejection at times. Can be very painful. I look at it this way,since I'm Christian....Jesus endured rejection too and loved us anyway. He died on the cross for all of us....the ultimite sacrifice for all our sin.

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Two words: Car bomb.

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I move on, that's not the kind of person I choose to be around, if I have no choice, I deal with it, there are worse things in life

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When people ignore you i think that you should just leave them alone for a week or even longer so that they have time to breath and just gives them space for a while. If they dont answer your calls just use *67 and it blocks your number. And that is the number that peopla prank call on. And if people are being mean, just kill them with kindness. Basically if they say ewe your ugly just say i like your shirt!! Just be super nice then they will evetually leave you alone. Hope i helped, thx bye

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@ exentrique. I had the same problem your grandpa had and I still do. Reading these comments people post is eye-opening and I can see new experiences. I see for the most part that people have the idea of 'eye for an eye' kind of deal. In reality, people like that need friends because they are mad with life. At least I am. lol. Truly, ignoring only gets them mad 'me' and people like that tend to get rejection on the wrong side like me. Reading this had made me think and has made me be "in other people's shoes" if you would say. Yes exentrique i completely agree with you and with many people on here. You do need something to do. Because people that don't have anything to do get bored out of their minds and start bothering and bugging other people for that very same reason. Maybe I should give myself some advice, maybe you should give yourself, and possibly your grandfather some advice, maybe you should help him get a hobby like playing chess, or introducing him to older people his age. Truly, people need people because being alone knowing that there is people out there makes you insane. It makes you wonder what are you doing when there are people out there! I get it. I want to hang out with people too. I also feel depressed for the very same reasons, and I think your grandfather does too. We all need something to keep our minds out of trouble and also keep it busy. As TrueSoul said working out is a great thing to do! I used to work out and it kept me the hell away from trouble! I was always feeling great and everything else seemed normal. Everything seemed the other way around. People would bug me! And it felt great! Because I knew I had friends. So in conclusion, people need to do something!

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i stopped askin ppl to hangout wit me n stopped callin them or textn them..if some1 is ignorin u thats just very disrespectful im pretty sure at the end of the day they get to there fone somewho if they were super busy?ppl who ignors u either there jelous from u,got some lowself-esteem,thinkin that ur better then them..if there busy there excuses wen there not thats just mistup

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My friend does this a) when she feels I am not doing what she wants b) when I stand up to her criticisms of me . I am very fond of her but she makes hurtful and tactless comments and tales control. If I dont go along with her I get the silent treatment at which point she might not answer the phone for a couple of weeks and then pretends nothing is wrong Thanks for posting this topic I feel hurt by my friend but rely on her. I am trying to move away from relying on her so much and gravitating towards friends who don't do this to me,

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I found this page looking for a solution to my grandfather's incessant calling which I have repeatedly asked him to stop. He leaves for work at 5:30am and the calls begin around 6 at which time I am usually still asleep. ( I'm clearly a very lazy person. ) Often times he calls to complain or chastise about- well- anything, or to tell me something he just told me the day before. He has the "I can do whatever I want" mentality and then assumes other people are rude when they don't respond well to this approach. When I do answer he demands to know what was so important that I couldn't drop what I was doing just to answer his tenth call of the day. Sometimes I don't get to the phone in time and when I try to immediately call him back I can't get through because he has already begun calling me again. There are times that when I don't answer he will call back to back for 30 minutes or more until I DO answer or he has something else to do. (Yes, this makes me less likely to answer when he calls- ever.) Funnily enough he has a friend who does the exact same thing to him and actually IGNORES their calls and then GRIPES about not wanting to talk to THEM! Is he lonely? Yes. Will he admit to it?. No. He doesn't need "friends". The sad truth is he can't KEEP friends because he runs them off with obnoxious controlling behavior. Doing something without his advice? You can't POSSIBLY be doing it right. About to make a purchase? You didn't consult ME first!!! So now you've bought the wrong brand or the wrong thing entirely. Cooking something? He can do better- and then suggest changes you should make to a tested and true recipe. So yes, I do ignore his phone calls- ALOT. It is not a power trip on my part, it is what I do to keep my sanity and what little self-esteem I have left. I aso tend to ignore callers who consistantly whine about life and never have anything to really talk about except how unfair life is. Life gets rough sometimes but if YOU aren't willing to do anything about it (like finding a distraction or SMILING) why should anybody else be?

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How is Grandpa now?

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Ignore them back, i couldn't be bothered if they ignored me or were rude to me, or didn't answer my calls,.

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Wonder why I am so fixated on people who don't care that much about me...



and try to reflect objectively on what I might have done that turned them off...robbie and xentrique are on the right train of thought...

kudos

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Nothing. I'd not try a second time for anything to gain their attention.

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get over whatever friendship you though you had.

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