I have been in a very similar situation. First you have to sit your husband down and tell him that he needs to consider YOUR feelings. He has to put himself in YOUR shoes for a change and act like a man and a husband. My parents loved my husband so he never understood how I felt when his parents hated me. You husband has to stop being selfish or your marriage will eventually end or wind up miserable.
Next. NEVER go on vacation with family. It's your time to enjoy with him . It's your vacation. Going with family only makes it stressful. Is he afraid to go on vacation without family? Is it a money issue?
Lastly, and this is the most important part. You should never, ever put up with disrespect. I did for years and it will erode your self esteem. You are their sons wife if they can't be nice they need to have a good talking to by both YOU and your husband. Respect and dignity should never be forgotten just because you got married. Your husband has to step up to the plate and act like a man.
I have been in your situation. I put up with it for years. I even went to therapy to learn how to deal with them. The best thing I ever did was tell my husband one day that I won't see his parents anymore. I won't stop him from seeing them, but I won't be there. He was stunned. It was the moment when he realized he had to grow up.
Tell your inlaws they have to come to your place to see their grandson. Then go on vacation to someplace nice with your family. The worst thing is, by being disrespectful to you in front of your son, they are teaching him that it is ok and that is not good. Remember, you can never change other people, but you can change how you react and in doing so it will bring about change. As I see it , you hold all the cards.
You and your husband need to have a talk. It's important that you do as soon as possible and hopefully before the vacation. My in-laws hate me too so I have had years of experience on this topic.
Always keep in mind that your in-laws don't have to like you but they do have to respect you. Both you and your husband should make SURE they know and understand that. If your in-laws refuse to cooperate then I say you've done your part. Do not go on vacation with them. Hopefully your husband will completely understand your position. Don't hold hold your breath though. Mine never understood and still doesn't get it. He loves them so he deals with them. I refuse to associate with such toxic people so I go nowhere near my in-laws. Not a perfect alternative but its what's necessary for now.
He is your husband, you should go and ill tell you why. to not go would first give his parents prime opportunity to talk down about you to him. second by not being there you have now in there minds, let them win. And your husaband will have a better time with you there. So you should go, BUT dont go with hatred or ill feelings on your heart, and dont try to impress them or prove anything, just simply be as polite,friendly,and kind to them as you can. Even if they in your face talking down to you, be kind to them. over time they will change, if they dont then you should not change because of it. Show them your bond with your husband can not be broken. Just my opinion Hare Krishna
Suspect that I have married the wrong man. I could not be married to a person that would insist I vacation with people who hate me. Still, if he is merely trying to create a situation where you guys can become more of a family and get to like each other, maybe you should try. It all depends on how much you husband supports you and if he stands up to his parents and insists they respect his choice.
Make him happy and go. I'm sure he would do the same.
That sounds like a gooooood time...NOT. Tell them you have a nail appointment..lol
Explain to him how you feel about how they act towards you. Communication is the only way past this..... Going on a trip with them would only make matters worse..You have to solve the issues first.
You go along and be as invisible as possible and when you can't be invisible you be as tight lipped as possible.The vacation will be over before you know and then you won't have to deal with them till the next vacation.
Well hold your tongue as best as you can then ,wish you well.
Plan a vacation with your husband instead