Post
eleanorigby eleanorigby 41-45, F 7 Answers Jul 7, 2011

Your Response

Cancel

Because love is the ultimate irrational emotion, if you know it is not a good match, you are not in love with them.<br />
<br />
Love drives people to do crazy, insane things. To jump without looking. To dance crazy even when everyone IS looking. <br />
<br />
I won't be too intrusive and ask what it is that makes you think this isn't a good match. But unless it's something utterly insane, like they're a crazy murderer, then what's stopping you isn't them; it's you.<br />
<br />
They apparently are happy with themselves. They like their own personality, or are at least content to leave it the way it is. You're the one who sees things in them that you don't like. And you are willing to compromise parts of yourself.<br />
<br />
That's not a bad thing. Compromise isn't always the answer.<br />
<br />
But I can say, almost without any doubt, that when you truly love someone, nothing can stop it from being a good match. Not family, religion, or even looks. I think you should look deeper into WHY you think the person you love is lacking, rather than think of something to say to them.<br />
<br />
I'll tell you, often times, people who break up with their boy/girlfriend and claim that the other person is not a good match, truly are missing something in themselves that they need to work out.<br />
<br />
I wish you all the best.

Best Answer

Thank you, I really appreciate the honest answer. You are right on some points. I have some thinking to do. And maybe I have some more work to do on myself before I can allow anyone into my heart. At this point, I'd rather complete that work in myself then compromise. Thank you.

Best Answer

No problem. It does take a lot of self reflection to truly make a relationship with another person work.
Good luck.

Best Answer

if both of you are commited to working on helping eachother grow and learn it would be great. Problem is if one person isn't willing then it's not worth the heartache.

Best Answer

I realized it was not a good match right away She went to a private school, I went to the public high school , her family had wealth, mine did not We lived in different worlds but we were in love. We went out a few times but I was the older by a couple of yrs and I broke it off. She was very upset Yrs later I met her by We had both married others and had families. It was hard to part even then but we had to so we just chatted and drank tea and parted again She lives in her world I live in mine

Best Answer

DON'T DISRESPECT HER NAME, PLEASE. " SHE ", IS A LIVERPOOOL ICON. TA !! XXX

Best Answer

No disrespect here.

Best Answer

sorry , too angry at the world last night. thanks for your pleasant comment, you could've given me a bollicking and i deserve it. once again, sorry. xxxxx

Best Answer

Great question & answers! Am in simliar position.

Best Answer

See, that's just ridiculous. Love isn't about compatibility. I don't see where people get this from: it's about COMMUNICATION and just having and wanting to be WITH THAT PERSON. You grow into loving each other and each other's interests. It doesn't necessarily mean you have to love everything about them! <br />
But if you have already made your choice, then just explain it to them.

Best Answer

But it's not just about interests like whether he likes golf and I don't or whether I like to hike or garden and he doesn't. It's about things like me being more open minded about things and him not, me being more free spirited and him being very conservative. We have differences in parenting styles which I know from experience can wreak havoc on a relationship.
All in all, he is a wonderful, handsome, loving man. But I've worked really hard to become a healthy, positive person, and it's hard to become Ms. "Somebody I'm not" just because that's how he thinks I should. be.
I"m not disrespecting any religion here either, but he is Mormon and I'm not. From what I've read, they have very old views about how women should behave and the roles of men and women in a relationship.
He's only being how he knows how to be. He's not deliberately trying to control me, but that's how I feel. I feel I will be a bird in a golden cage. I really do love the man for him, but don't want to be unhappy in the future.
Sex isn't all that fabulous either. His attitude is that women are there to please the man. He got angry with me one time because I told him that I had enjoyed sex in the past. I have been married before. I'm 43 and he's 56. Apparently, women are not supposed to enjoy sex, just provide it to please our men. Hmmmm, that's not how I feel about it.

Best Answer

Related Questions