thats really all you need
Several years back I also lost my family, and when they turned their backs the rest followed...I was growing up and made some bad decisions and due to those decisions everyone lacked that I would ever change! I have recently began speaking to some, attending family functions and what not, forgiving them for the pain I endured when left alone @ such a young age! I never got help nor did I turn to God...But even though I've taken the step to come back, they still barely acknowledge me, they have placed friends ahead, I was depressed, lost without my parents and that's cool I understand! Guess to them some people aren't worth it....but with God by my side, within my heart I have made it this far! He gave me a beautiful child to fill in the blanks, whom I love more than words can express!! Just pray and believe in urself cause in the end its only God that will judge you and its God who excepts us always no matter what!! :) God Bless and Good Luck, always keep your faith! :)
Here's what you have: a lot more freakin' freedom. Enjoy it while it lasts, "they'll be back!"
Peace. Until they need money again.
I am in the same position, however I have never made what I would call "bad choices." I had children young, but have never EVER been in any kind of trouble. In fact I have gone on to raise my children and now have 3 college degrees. I have always tried my hardest to make everyone around me happy and still I am the outcast. My mother told me when I was very young that she hated children and never wanted one until a judge told her that the only way he would marry my mother and father was if she was pregnant...so thats what she did, got pregnant. Then she proceeded to tell me that she never wanted a girl, she wanted a boy...which further crushed me. I grew up with a stepfather who was my best friend.....I am now 36 years old and he had been my true dad even after he and my mother divorced. He now rarely speaks to me as of the last 4-5 years. No idea why. My mother only calls me when she needs something, other than that I a dirt. I had one friend who I grew up with who I trusted entirely and she died in a car accident we were in when we were 16...after that I just seem to have trouble making any true friends. It seems like everyone I ever trusted (my best friend and my great grandmother) has passed away, leaving me completely alone and I have done nothing wrong. Ive always been there to help anyone but it seems no one has been there to help me. These people who claim getting rid of your family is freedom is dead wrong...If you do not have family, who do you have? God has been there every step of the way and things have happened, even recently, that I question why he allowed to happen...but I know his ways are not my ways and they may just be a blessing in disguise. Keep your hope up because youre not alone in this world in your feeling of being "alone."
I learned the hard way if you reach out to someone else in the same or a worse position God will meet you both in your need
I have adopted many family members and taken them in in their lonliness and now they are there for all my needs God has blessed me and multiplied my Family in Christ.
That is truly sad. My mum detested my dad. They had me as their 2nd child so they could split and she could have my elder sister and my dad could have me and they could call it even. Well they didn't split. They stayed together another 30 years and it was hell. She thought that story was a great yarn and when she had time between telling us kids how much she hated our father she would throw in there 'you are just like your father'. I feel for you though. At least I had my dad even if my mum and sister were horrors.
Hey kid, I'm going through the same thing, the only difference is, its not only my family that's turned their backs on me but also my boyfriend and my friends. I won't bore you with many details, but I'll give you 2 examples. I asked my boyfriend earlier today for 5 dollars, it was the first time in my life that I ever asked him for money,know what he does? Says flat out no. Then proceeds to tell me to shut the f up because I said it was OK. Two weeks ago, I asked my dad for 100 dollars for school, he obvi said no,because he was broke but then proceeded to buy my sister an apple computer worth 2500 dollars. How do I feel? I'm actually crying right now. What do I have left? I'm still trying to figure it out.
I know how you feel. My father, who has never been around got my half brother a brand new computer for Xmas and my xmas gift was a small coffee can filled with pennies....I was absolutely crushed....I found out about the computer when is his drunken stupor he accidentally emailed me instead of my half brother going on and on about this brand new computer he got him....
What you are doing is desperately clinging on to a worthless guy who probably resembles your family in personality in the hope you can change him and then that proves you ARE worthy. I learnt that a long time ago. I had to cut of my family and find my own self worth THEN find a guy or you will always find the wrong person.
I can relate...I think i have a touch of bi polar because i had an episode..which lead to my mom telling me to get out and never come back. I threw a plastic cat dish towards my gramp and some water got on her so she got pissed. my brother has bi polar and has done way worse then this he has threaten to kill my dad and mom and they never told him to get out and never come back. 6 days before this my dad found out from my mom that his step dad touched me in ways he should not have..my dad said it was lie and to never talk to him again. When i freaked out at gramp at my moms and threw the cat dish it was because he told me i was a liar when i was not lying. Thats what made me snap i was tired of everyone calling me a liar when i hardely ever do..it hit a nerv because of my dad just accusing me lying about something so serious. I tried to tell my mom that and she told me to grow up and that i have mental problems and she doesnt know me anymore..I had a brake down thats it and she of all people should have understood the stress and pain i was dealing with this past week with everything going so wrong. My dad and his side of the fam disowned me, my tooth broke in half, and my car that i havent even driven at all yet got crashed into while it was parked on the side of the road which my gramp blamed me for thats how we got in a fight but how is someone else crashing into my parked car in the middle of the night my fault? All this happened in one week. I got that car for them to use till i get my lesince. So the way i see it is if my family cant except me at my worse then they dont get me at my best. BTW i have never been under this kind of stuff before and never freaked out at a family member before because i always hold it all and held deep respect for everyone around me ..my brother freaks out way worse then what i did but when i freaked just one time they didnt want anything to do with me anymore..why is everyone else in my family allowed to have brake downs but when i do it i get disowned. All i yelled was im not a liar and threw a cat dish. i dont think i deserved to get disowned over something petty like that at least i didnt threaten to kill her like my bro does which he is 18. Everything i ever stood for is gone now. I do feel lost but I know I still have me to depend on..this really opened my eyes up and its only going to push me to work harder then ever in life. When you dont have family you still have yourself and your drive in life. Also there are sooo many people in this world you are never actually alone. Get to know new people..what have you got to lose now? And never stop being a kind person just because some people dont see your kindness.
I haven't read all of this yet but let me tell you this. I am 44 now and I've been in and out of psychs for 20 plus years. My mum always told me I had a split personality. I then BELIEVED I was bi polar. The psychs never could quite hit on anything and I never hung around long. Then I went to the greatest psych on earth 2 years ago and told her I might be bi polar. Her first words were 'maybe its not you' and a light bulb went off. My mother had convinced me there was something wrong with me when in fact she was a narcissistic mother and it took me 40 years of my life to figure it out. So I say to you. Maybe your 'episodes' are lashing out to bottled up rage at your treatment and not bi polar at all
I have always been the money maker in the family and the person who bailed everyone out. I have paid my sister's credit card debt because she was so stressed and it hurt me seeing her suffer. I have purchased everyone of my siblings cribs for their first child. Recently, I lost my job, and my husband divorced me. I do not have much money left and when I asked my family if I could come stay with them until I become established again they to my surprise said NO. I have finally realized that I have always been alone and that was not family, but people who were family as long as I provided them with money. It hurts to the core, thank God I have a son who adores me. All I have left is myself and I will have no choice but to get back in the horse and keep going. As for my family, as soon as I have the money, I will hire an attorney and I will divorce them.
I too was nothing but generous and loving to my family. It's a long story but they turned their backs on me. I think back at all the nice things I did for them and the financial support. I now realize that they never were my family. Just took advantage of me and used me. It's truly horrible to have this happen. It's a pain like no other.
Thoroughly agree. I am more angry with myself that I let them suck the marrow out of me in the belief they might like me but the fact is they were laughing behind my back and being the narcissists they are, I now realize everything I did didn't even get a thanks but I still kept giving and that burns a lot of anger in me that I was so stupid.
if they can turn their back on you , they were never family to begin with....run for your life!
I sometimes feel that this world is an illision,,,My Mother, My Father, Brother, Sister's they are only as real as I make them,,,so what I always have left is is me and what I believe is real,,,,nothing else exists without me there to create it,,,,lol,,,oh no I said I create it,,,what ever it is,,,me and my Beloved create everything that is and is not,,,,very profound,,,,some might say Delusional,,,,whatever I believe is real,,,,and it matters not what anyone else thinks of me and my world,,,,the really cool thing is I can inclued anyone I choose to be in my world,,,,I am so free,,,,I am so amazed by everything,,,,Love and Light Mary
You have you and prove to yourself and them that you can make it in the world. You go girl!! And plus i am here if you need someone to chat to.
not really they hurt u even more and u want to harm ur self
I'm in the same boat....I have my amazing friends, God, and my cats. It's a purely evil situation. I only tried to help the man I fell in love with...a 9/11 worker then became a Marine and now an Iraq war veteran...then tried to support the sibling getting married...she disowned me in the process...this was the catalyst that tore me from my family...she was marrying a veteran. And she was purely evil to me. Then my entire family planned a trip down to see them without inviting me until the day of. I work full time and go to school. Plus my parents have been down to see them 6 or 7 times since they moved out of State a year and a half ago. My mother has come to see me one time and my father never since I've moved three years ago. It is all painful. I've been told by several people that they don't deserve me in there life. I'm a cancer researcher trying to go to medical school which is why I moved and there support if ever is only monetarily. Which is great but I'd rather have them. Thus I did stop speaking with them. My father text (text me!) once since there trip over a month ago and asked me where I was...not how I was doing or anything more. I told him I was busy and that ended that. I haven't heard from them since. It's disgusting. I miss my family but I refuse to let myself get hurt anymore...I wish everyone else struggling all the best...I hope your outcomes are better than mine. Prayers and hugs your way.
I have nothing left. I am on Social Security Disability. I'm trying to support myself & my daughter (there are no jobs out there, it's not like she's not trying to get one). My aunt, who always told everyone I am the daughter she never had, knows our home is in foreclosure and she told me "people have to work hard for what they want". I'm DISABLED. <br />
Believe it or not, my cousin & his wife, after hurricane Sandy, posted on their facebooks "if anyone needs a place to stay, contact us." So I said "when the bank takes my house, I'll let you know." They deleted me.<br />
If anyone wants to find me, I'm in the duct taped together Mazda.
Even though family is supposed to be a backbone and always there, some just arent. I would say find yourself at least one great friend that will be there for you whenver you need them. Then don't stress about losing your family, losing them may be for the best, idk your situation but for me, losing my family was the hardest thing I ever went through, but looking back, at the end of the day they left me with mostly stress. Just know that all the love, support, and strength you need is inside you.
I know how you feel, my family recently moved in with my aunty and uncle a couple of months ago and to this day i can feel the resentment they have for us just being there, my family looks at us now like the poor family that mooches off of everyone else now and that my parents raised an awkward gay child a strret thug and a kid who thinks hes better than everybody just because I wanted to go to college instead of stay home and work! My older brother only smokes weed and they think hes the devil! My other older brother just admitted that hes gay and they say my parents raised them wrong! After all this tho! What they seem to forget is that when they were younger they all lived under my parents roof my parents were the ones taking them in and letting them live there for free just because we were "FAMILY" but now just because they all have their own place they act like my parents are brok im going thru that right now and all i can say is that the light is brightest in the darkest of times dont stop looking
It is so sad to know your family turned their back on you, i wont go into asking why, but what is even more sad to me is that people actually think (from the comments on here) that not having your family is a good thing, they think its freedom! Wow indeed something has drasticaly gone wrong in our societies, while we have evolved for all these 1000s of years on the back bone of the family, you all think that you are better off without them now, thats very sad, that not having your family around allows you to have a more satisfying and fulfilling life is just plain sad. Shows how successful they have been in screwing with peoples minds.
For 1000s of years families stuck together to forage and find food and for security. These days its a greedy materialistic world where dog eat dog and there's families that only see your value for what they can get from you. 40 years of a user family and I wipe my hands
I'd go buy some beer. Then I'd have that at least.
yourself, your strength thats getting i thru. Endurance is the word. Your the better person at the end of the day.
Look for a friend or friends to lean on! Then prayer......then therapy may help! A little yummy chocolate.....then a nice bath.......a massage.....hugs......movies......music and dancing.....hobbies but nothing bad or harmful to yourself or others!<br />
Have you written a blog? Expressing it helps and I find it easier on line if you don't want to face anyone right now!