To my mind, simply the ability to not allow a grudge to eat you alive. It doesn't mean to forget, and it certainly doesn't guarantee future trust, but the person doesn't continue to live rent-free in your head, either.

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Thanks for the reminder of the rent-free image. I just hope I can get my bat sh*t crazy neighbour out of mine being afraid to run into her in the hallway every day.

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It's a powerful act. It benefits the forgiver and the forgiven. It allows both to move on from the inevitable stupid actions we all make.

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bologna, baloney same lunch meat served on Thursdays. Each idea of who benefits from the forgiveness doesn't really matter. For instance for religious purposes, a Christian is suppose to forgive those that did them wrong and also ask forgiveness of those they wronged. In my world you screw me over and that is it, you might as well be dead to me, I'm not holding anything against you in my heart or mind but you simply don't exist. That would be what I expect you should feel about me, if i screwed you over as well.

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The key to a happy and healthy life. Begins with yourself, we all make mistakes, it spreads out to people you have hurt saying sorry never killed anyone, and ends with you forgiving those who have hurt you. To err is human to forgive is divine.

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I just dont think you should say sorry or you forgive someone if you truely dont feel that way.

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That is the whole point of forgiveness, it is not just there straight away. For instance I had a supposed female friend who was cheating with my husband. Now our children were friends, it was a mess they both denied it of course. Cut a long story short I could not go around with so much anger and bitterness in my heart, it was hurting me not them ! So one night I just decided to pray for her and for me to forgive her behaviour. Through gritted teeth at first, but with time my heart opened and I forgave her, she was just being herself. Now we have never spoken again and she has moved, but if I did see her, there would not be that tight knot of emotion in my stomach, I am free. I have forgiven my husband as well, Now I still get upset when I talk about all the **** that went on in our marriage and that he still does now, but that pure bitter hatred is gone. Saying sorry is easy for me as well, it is my intentions, if I did not intend to upset/hurt you truly sorry straight away. If I was angry and lashed out, again a bit of time, but when I reflect on it, I am sorry because my intention was to hurt you out of angry, where if I had been calmer my response my well have been different, If that person decides not to accept my apology, I have to accept that as well, I can't be upset at that.

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There is a good book, I thought we would never speak again. It has stories of all situations where people have been hurt and how they dealt with the anger and pain to not necessarily speak again but be at peace with it. Forgiveness frees you, hate anger are bad emotions to carry around in your body. Don't know who said it first, but the quote is anger/resentment/hatred etc, is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die. It damages you not them.

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It is not mine to offer. It is for them to get from some other source; not from me. If it is bad enough to require forgiveness, it isn't possible for me to grant it. If I can grant it, it is because it is as I say *There's nothing to forgive. No worries.*

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The ability to look the other way, a common fighting cause for hypocrites.

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A short memory and a big heart.

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Not sure I have either of those.

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Some people believe in forgiveness but you never forget what they have done to you. Not good with either of those.

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A sign of weakness....

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