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Crimsonorchid Crimsonorchid 26-30, F 17 Answers Dec 18, 2012 in Intimacy

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I'm naturally monogamous. When I love someone, I don't even notice anyone else. It'd be nice to find someone else like that.

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I've been questioning monogamy. I feel an attraction to more than one person so why tie myself to one? But at the same time people need someone for the long run of there life.

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New scientific studies suggest that if a woman has multiple sexual partners, this will lower her levels of oxytocin which in turn will damage her ability to bond. Oxytocin is a neuro-peptide most commonly associated with pregnancy and breast-feeding. It seems to act as a human "superglue," helping a mother bond with her infant. It is also released during sexual arousal and there, too, seems to work as a "superglue."

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That makes alot of sense

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That's really interesting. Might help me undestand why I don't really want kids.

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In my opinion, the best sex is monogamous sex. Being totally committed to one person and having the same commitment in return is the fr<x>amework for total openness. I couldn't live any other way.

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I am in a very similar situation, I say it's up to you, me I do what I have to to fulfill my needs and desires

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I hear ya... I just don't think I can make it another 2 years... And that would b a shame because we really do get along pretty well and I would hate to lose my friend . I guess I'm still trying to figure out how everyone can remain unaffected by the change I feel coming

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I understand that, for me it's been 21/2 years and although I love her I just need physical stimulation beyond having to ********** on webcam or something

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Exactly. I want to be appreciated in that way

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Don't know about you but it makes me feel undesirable and unwanted

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Or like I'm forgetting what it feels like or how to do it... Maybe growing a complex?? Lol- I'm not ugly

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Right, I mean I'm not gods gift but I've had other women want me, so what have I done wrong here

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Obviously you haven't done anything wrong, I don't really feel like I have (or at least not yet) and actually my bf hasn't either (physically incapable) so I don't want to punish him but I don't want to b a freaking nun either! I think I have more concerns about the what ifs than he does. He makes it sound so simple . Eventually I will cave and give in to my desires(without a prospect in sight lol) I just hope I can do it in a way that I don't have to feel shame or guilt

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Right, well I wish you luck, when you do give in he will be a lucky man :)

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Awesome :) thanks

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I know one thing, be honest! So many people lie about monogamy and have no intentions of one partner.

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Yes being dishonest is def the toxic part , I have a bf who used to b able but now is unable to perform. I Have not "had any" in almost 2 years and he says he would b okay if I had my needs met elsewhere but I can't really bring myself to c how there would b a good outcome in that since woman are very emotionally vulnerable through intimacy

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Just a thought, maybe if your partner was involved with your needs? And maybe you could open your boundaries? May spark your current partner?

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Have you tried an exclusively oral relationship? Many men, myself among them, find cunni lingus very satisfying. I'm told quite a few women enjoy it too :)

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He's older (can't undue it now) I'm 30, he's 62.... Been together sine I was 26 and he was 58. We live together and I feel like family to him and his children. I've never said a word of this before now but like I said I'm 30 and my hormones are taking over... It sounds like a hot mess I know ... Be frank if you may, what do you mean by boundaries?

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Have you thought about a ********* with another chic? Involve your guy he may spark for you? No one needs to know what happens behind closed doors!

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He's actually VERY good at that but for a while now I've been pleasing him in that fashion but he doesn't reciprocate. I've kinda just let him off the hook. He doesn't have the same desires I do .

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I'm currently in the first monogamous relationship in my life, whereas I've always been poly, and there are advantages and disadvantages to both. <br />
I'm a very non-attaching person, I don't easily commit, so poly worked well for me because it obliged the others to limit their clinginess as well. It's true however that in a poly relationship there is always a hint of suspicion, especially when you aren't full-blown poly. If all the people involved are involved with each other it's different, but if that's not the case... not all people can deal with possible jealousy equally well. <br />
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In a way, monogamy is a gift. Foremost you have to consider yourself worthy enough to "be enough" for a man/woman, and then you also choose to devote all your attention to one person. That puts you in a very vulnerable position, and it's very important that your partner doesn't take your monogamy for granted.

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Monogamy is a great social construct it lets two people provide complete near-constant support and love to each other.<br />
<br />
Heres a great vid on that<br />
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uH_rIT0juiM

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Mostly interesting for ape/monkey studies, not so much interesting with people since then I stop having a clue xD

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Monogomy...i don't have to worry about "who' i told what.

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I never thought I would be monogomous until I met my current bf of 4 years. I have no desire to stray just because I love him so much =)

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monogamy means earth and moon. neat and clean.

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Comfortable, secure, cozy vs. fun, exciting, insecure. Depends on what you prefer.

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Simpler.

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I prefer it.

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