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Questionator Questionator 26-30 98 Answers Jul 12, 2012

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I think it will be beer scooters...think about it...<br />
How many times have you woken up in the morning after a hard night of drinking and thought 'How did I get home?' As hard as you try, you cannot piece together your return journey from the bar to your home.<br />
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The answer to this puzzle is that you used a beer scooter. The beer scooter is a mythical form of transport, owned and leased out to drunks (without their knowledge) by Bacchus, the Roman god of wine. Bacchus has branched out since the decrease in the worship of the Roman pantheon and bought a large batch of these magical devices.<br />
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The beer scooter works in the following fashion:<br />
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The passenger reaches a certain level of drunkenness and the 'slurring gland' begins to give off a pheromone. Bacchus or one of his many sub-contractors detects the pheromone and sends down a winged beer scooter.<br />
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The scooter scoops up the passenger and deposits them in their bedroom via a trans-dimensional portal. It is not cheap to run a beer scooter franchise, so a large portion of the passenger's in-pocket cash is taken as payment. This generates the second question after a night out 'How did I spend so much money?'<br />
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Beer scooters have a poor safety record and are thought to be responsible for 90% of all UDI (Unidentified Drinking Injuries). An undocumented feature of the beer scooter is the destruction of time segments during the trip. The nature of trans-dimensional portals dictates that time will be lost, seemingly unaccounted for. This generates the third question after a night out 'What happened?'<br />
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With good intentions, Bacchus opted for the EMIT (Embarrassing Moments In Time) add on, that automatically removes in descending order, those parts in time regretted most. Unfortunately one person's EMIT is not necessarily the EMIT of another and quite often lost time is regained over a suitable period.<br />
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Independent studies have also shown that beer goggles cause the scooter's navigation system to malfunction thus sending the passenger to the wrong bedroom often with horrific consequences. With recent models including a GPS, Bacchus made an investment in a scooter drive-thru chain specialising in half eaten kebabs and pizza crusts. Another question answered!<br />
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For the family man, beer scooters come equipped with flowers picked from other people's garden and Thump-A-Lot Boots. These boots are designed in such a way that no matter how quietly you tip-toe, you are sure to wake up your other half. Special anti-gravity springs ensure that you bump into every wall and the CTSGS (Coffee Table Seeking Guidance System) explains the ring marked shins.<br />
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Most useful of all is the on-board heater which allows you to get home from the bar in sub-zero temperatures wearing just a T-shirt. The final add-on Bacchus saw fit to invest in for some scooters is TAS (Tobacco Absorption System). This explains how one person can apparently get through 60 Marlboro Lights in a single night.

Top Answer #1
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LMFAO!

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Good one, stoker! I can imagine in some homes that would be a beer "coaster." All the benefits of your scooter, but doesn't leave a ring...

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Now that I'm nearly a year sober, I'd like to give you my thanks for making me want to relapse just to be able to try this form of transportation

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That was unbelievable and excellent.

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1 More Response

Were poor, so we will probably be driving a 20 year old jalopy like we always do.....

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Have you been talking to those Goobacks again ?

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Hover chairs, cause human beings are becoming lazier each day.

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I'd write a rebuttal, but I can't be bothered.

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Flying cars and casual space flight to other colonized planets

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Tubes like futurama

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that would be really cool, but can you imagine the pile up of people in tubes if there was some accident in one.

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Teleportation

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Considering that many main cross-country highway updates (USA), over the past 40 or so years, have included underground magnetic lines, perhaps this a clue.(?)<br />
Introducing the GPS & On-Star systems for folks to get familiar with, perhaps means efforts toward 'auto-pilot' type vehicles are well on the way.<br />
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Commuter systems (buses, vans, etc.) will probably be first 'attractions', with company truckers being marketed next, and onward shall it go, until Mom can happily text while driving to the market with kids playing their vid games in the back & the need for school bus drivers will be for discipline management only...no worries.<br />
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btw, car parts are already being made of metals & chips that will easily be 'adjusted' for such a transport flip. Eventually, no gas products will be necessary, many caution & speed limit signage will be eliminated, replaced by t.v. advertising billboards, which are already being installed.<br />
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This is just mpo, putting 2+2 together...But Lord only knows!:)<br />
Happy truckin', Folks! It's a Good Journey, indeed!

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flying beds cause we will all be glued to computer screens. :p

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Walking, no on will be able to afford fuel.

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I'm hoping we'll be able to "beam" ourselves anywhere we like!<br />
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EP friends... lookout!

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Bicycle, horse and buggy, maybe alcohol powered mopeds for the well-off

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I think the future of commerce logistics will be drones in a few decades, i.e. autonomous trucks for long range transport, and smaller aerial drones for localized goods, such as pizza delivery.<br />
As for personal transportation it will be autonomous cars, which will make driving so much safer, and also kids will be able to have their own cars.<br />
And hopefully those science douchebags will hurry up with the freakin jetpacks already

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Haha the boffins already have jetpacks man! They're commercially available and they run about $300,000...now I just need to find the damn money... o_O

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Water-powered push bikes.<br />
Well. whoever said Teleportation was right about one thing. That is THE standard in the next kingdom. To travel "as a thought" instantly from place to place. "Translation Technology" or "caught away (of the Lord)." Still can't figure out why God's gonna "roll up the stars like a scroll..." I was really rather hoping to have one in the hearth of my own planet. I mean. I don't really like people. Actually; I love people, but they ARE all so attitudy...

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learning to walk again

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Super sonic silver flying machines

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horse-drawn carriages.

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Flintstones cars are the most eco friendly.

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Supersonic vehicles with wind as fuel.//

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We need more public transportation which has easier access and uses non-petroleum ba<x>sed products. After all I think it has been acquired, but for some reason, we aren't allowed to have it. More greed for the big oil companies. I know there is a way. We put a man on the moon and have a space station, you know we can have cheap transportation which does not run on fossil fuel.

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Nanobot swarms. They'll do anything you want from cooking dinner to cleaning house and brushing your teeth. They'll also take on any form you want on demand including planes, trains, and automobiles. Your lounge chair will carry you around the house, turn into a car outside, then into an airplane, and then a rocket to the moon. There you will meet the good witch and live happily ever after.

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