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My boyfriend & I are dating 5 weeks now,things are going great.On our first date we completely hit it off, there was an instant connection and we had so much fun.He surprised me with trip to a go-karting arena and then brought me for dinner,we talked for almost 2 hours at the end of the date he handed me a large bunch of flowers (Ive never been given flowers before!)We have spent a lot of time together since our first date,hes a sweet guy & we feel so comfortable together.Its been a long time since Ive been treated so well..hes very open about how he feels & is excited about introducing me to his family!However,lately he mentioned that he likes how things are going now but doesnt want either of us to get too serious too soon despite having slept together..says he just wants to enjoy having fun at the moment without too much intensity.What do you think this means?is he's falling for me and wants to back off a bit or is it just that he wants to take things slowly and at his pace??
missymoomee missymoomee 26-30, F 14 Answers Sep 27, 2011

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"Despite having slept together..." Sorry, but that is strictly a female perspective. From a male point of view, it is far more likely that he has lost interest now that he managed to get you into bed.<br />
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That is what it looks like from where I stand (and old chick who's been around). He hits it off with you "instantly," on the first date, then you see him some more, he brings you flowers (he's in the courting mode) and then, after you have sex with him, he says he doesn't want to become too serious too fast. To you, the fact that he and you have had sex means it was getting serious....to him, it means he scored and now he doesn't want to do too much more.<br />
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Why not get busy and start dating other people? Tell him you think he is right and that you two need to see others for a while. Tell him you really do want to see him....when you have the time. This guy likes the chase so that might spark some interest in him. <br />
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If you like, you can read my story, "Boys and Girls Do Not Look At Dating the Same Way." What seems like a serious courtship to you has been a fun series of dates to him. But if you try to discuss it with him, he will deny that because he wants to keep you on the back burner in case he can't score with other chicks in the future. Start dating other people.

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Exactly to paragraphs #3 and #4 BB :) brilliant.

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He wants to play it cool and see if something better might come along while he continues to explore your relationship. You should have never slept with him. Big mistake. That said a lot about YOU to him.

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Perhaps I shouldnt have but we both talked about it first...when we did sleep together it felt natural and not rushed. He tells me everyday how beautiful I am and how hes happy to be with me.. I guess he is being cautious of rushing too quick and getting hurt again like with his ex who turned him down when he asked her to marry him 2 yrs ago..

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Remember how his x dumped him......now he is gonna dump u .... Find out what he thinks of ur relation as early as possible before he dumps u......

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It means 'Now I've slept with you, I'm done ...'

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sort of have to agree with catfeesh

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I have to disagree, he still wants us to be boyfriend and girlfriend and is clear about how he feels about me.. he did get a bad knock to his ego 2 years ago.. he proposed to his ex-partner of 4 years and she turned him down. he then discovered she was cheating on him and is now engaged to be married. She dumped him by text! Perhaps he's a little scared to jump in too soon with me??

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More detail helped...now I think he's just being cautious...maybe afraid of getting hurt again.

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It sounds like he means exactly what he says. He doesn't want to get too serious too soon. I wouldn't read too much more into it. You'll end up obsessing. Just have fun :o)

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probly has had bad break up in past maybe had his heart brokin. so wants take things slow one step at time

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good god and i thought i was bitter. get over it people. <br />
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first five weeks is too soon to think serious. your dating, avoid planning anything serious till after the first year. it took me six months to say I love you because i wanted to be sure. enjoying a dates company, loving her personality and having sex doesnt mean love or a life time of being together its the learning stage. when i reach a point where i have to talk to them every day, as long as possible and miss them when Im out doing my own thing I know its getting serious. <br />
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for those that rush into claiming love and confuse dating for a lifetime commitment you have only yourselves to blame not the man or woman you were seeing. you see what you want, not whats really there. and frankly the fantasy relationship so many are seeking is the biggest reason so many fail.

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5 weeks is a very short time, you are going too fast for him. Take a step back and just enjoy being together, if it was meant to be you will have the rest of your lives together.

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You're right .. we both love spending time together but I think we should spend less time together in the early stages can exhaust the relationship before it even gets a chance to take off

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He likes getting his leg over and that is about it, nothing serious so far and he will probably dump you, you dump him first.

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The latter I think. If he's done all these thoughtful things then he means business, especially if he's talking about introducing you to his family. He just wants to ebjoy you fr you without any pressure. Enjoy him too......

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Not many people here are giving him credit he is a really nice guy, worries that hes too nice, but thanks I will just enjoy taking things at a slow pace and try not to worry..its still early days

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