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TrackyDaks TrackyDaks 36-40, F 32 Answers Jun 8, 2011

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There is a fine line between forgiving and forgetting. And I believe they should teach this in highschool. Just becasue you forgive someone does not mean you forget it happened or that you have to continue to let it happen, or that you will autoatically trust that person again. But it is letting go of the anger and eventually it will hurt less.

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forgiveness is for the person doing the forgiving -- it has nothing to do with condoning (to me condoning means somehow agreeing with ) , or forgetting. it simply means that you are letting go of the anger that would fester it you didnt

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Cool. I can do that and yes, condoning/agreeing, I couldn't do that.

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I wasn't able to forgive or even to understand what it was to forgive until I saw, in a dictionary, that it means to give up resentment. It seemed to me that that naturally extrapolates to giving up being hurt. I like that and it works for me.



I wish you peace.

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Thank you so much. I wish the same to you.

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True forgiveness is something 'paid ahead', a resilience to peoples idiosyncrasies and an acceptance of their rough edges; understanding. There is nothing to forgive, there is only enfoldment.

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Yes I think that way now. Its been a long and painful journey but I've come a long way since asking this question.

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To forgive means that one chooses to accept the fact, maybe even try to understand why the person did what they did which helps a lot and to say I am going to move on with our relationship.

It does not mean forget. that can be impossible sometimes.

It does not mean condone what was done.

If one can truly forgive then you may remember but it will not bother you. Or you may have conditional forgiveness, He never does it again, and I choose to not let it bother me.

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"I forgive you" means, "You were in the wrong, but I don't want to stay angry, so I'd like us to start over."

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Forgiveness is not always possible, it doesn't then mean because it is not possible that you necessarily have to hold on to anger and rage or bad feelings, all those kind of feelings are very natural and normal, it is what you do them more importantly that matters. There are constructive ways to deal with anger, and there are deconstructive ways to deal with that anger, nevertheless, the choice is still yours, regardless. Forgetting isn't even an option for some people, and to forget is not necessarily a good thing in anycase as you do not want to repeat history, you should hopefully want to change bad history and learn from it to make a better world and future for everybody, but the problem is a lot of humans are quite happy to annihalte themselves, i often wonder if there will be human life on this planet for anywhere near as long as the earth to determined to exist because of this, I am not sure with this being the case how humans can call themselves intelligent lifeforms on the whole.

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Thank you Taco, I have gotten over my anger towards this person and if forgiveness means that I no longer hold that anger then perhaps I have forgiven. Life goes on and my family would be the ones to suffer rather than the one the anger is held for. If that makes sense lol

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I think too many people use the word forgive quite loosely, in other words they just throw it around with no real meaning behind it. The word forgive should not be mistakened for condoning something unless you ask them and they say yes.

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i agree

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no electric shock treatment means forgetting

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I really like a quote that Oprah Winfrey has said a few times on her show- "Forgiveness is letting go of the hope that the past can be changed."

Hope this helps!

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isn't that the truth though????

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That is really good. Thank you. I should have watched Oprah more

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I like this one. Because I stop trying to change the past it does not necessarily mean that I condone it. A mind in tune with reality accepts what happened and tries to prevent it happening again.

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Forgive to me means, wiping their slate clean holding no grudges and giving another chance.

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yes it does, but it also depends what exactly has been done, and why in the first place.

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It means they do what they want and you find a way to deal with it and forgive them.

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When it comes to forgiving others i use it more as a way of saying its okay its not your fault so you dont have to take any responsibility just live happy, but when it comes to my self its non existent i havent forgave myself i blame my self for everything, but one of these days ill forgive myself that way i can be happy without blaming myself every three seconds

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I hope you're there now :o)

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Not fully, but i don't blame my self as much anymore

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It really does take time. I'm pleased to read you're getting better.

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Thank you for the concern, its really sweet.
And you're right time is a big factor
I'm not sure if I'm getting better because the more time that goes by the less i remember or if its that as time goes on it seems less real, like everything that happen never really happened.

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I know exactly what you mean there. Its like 'forgive and forget' really do go together. I think this has all been a huge life lesson for me.

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2 More Responses

When someone is sincerely sorry and seeks forgiveness from me, forgiving them means that I understand that no one is perfect and I have faith in the Lord above.



I do not believe forgiveness means forgetting necessarily. Although, I believe forgetting is most definitely a possibility.

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Accepting that someone did not purposely set out to hurt you, and trusting then to do better next time. If they did intend hurt, screw them. Karma is sweet.

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I think it means to let go of a grievance when you feel that you have been wronged. If that person is likely to repeat the wrong I do not believe it is necessary to 'forget'. For example: if somebody borrows money from you for different reasons at different times but never offers to repay, then somebody else tells you that the person has a gambling problem you may choose to forgive but not forget. You accept that you will probably never get your money back but you also decide not to lend them any more.

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Hey Will. Thank You for answering. Its been a while since I asked this and I think I've had time to come to terms with it all and maybe understand what forgiveness is. I've been wronged but I'm over being hurt and miserable about it. Its the only way. Thanks again :o)

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Same with me. The only remedy for hurt feelings is time. Someone said we forgive when we stop trying to change the past. I like that. I don't think even God can change the past. But I hear he's pretty good at forgiving.

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To forgive does mean to condone. How ever if you forget, you may be setting your self up to let it happen again.

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No forgivness and condoning something are two different things. It is possible to forgive a person without condoning what they have done.

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sorry, type-o meant to say, does not.

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to start it off clean again

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being able to look pass someone.s bad choice of action or what he said.that hirt you.

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It means to not take into account whatever it is that they did.

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No, because if you didn't take into account whatever it was they had done then you would be somehow condoning it.

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