What does it sound like I'm trying to say?
I'm scared because I know the outcome of what I want to say and it scares me. Hope I have really strong feelings for you, but I can't tell what they mean. I don't want to freak you out I just need to tell someone before I drive myself crazy. I don't know what these feelings suggest and I know you're gonna judge me, but I thought you should know how I feel. I know i've told you about my past and Janie and all of that and i don't want you to think that thats where I'm going with this. and i feel like I've kept this to myself and that's just how its been before I met you and then when I got to know you and spent a lot of time with you because I don't even know where I'm going with this. it's just you're the only friend I've had who has made me feel so loved and special and you even have given me butterflies. I'm just really confused i don't understand what friends are or how you act with them or limits or anything like that really. Thats why don't let myself talk to you everytime i want to. This is something ive thought about and tried to grasp for a while and I talk to God about it a lot to know what our friendship is.. is it just to talk? is this someone whos going to be in my life for a long time? Why before i even met her did i feel like that? Is she why you brought me back to **? Am i going to end up thrown out again? Why her? (don't take that in the wrong way) How do i help her? She's such a good influence to me but how am i to her? Wheres our friendship going? I don't understand it or its strength (that i see at least). You said you didn't understand my friendships back in maine and you've only seen a glimpse but ours its stronger then those which doesn't make sense to me. i don't see how?? now I'm going to hide in a hole and pray you don't take it the wrong way.