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Rosesanddiamonds Rosesanddiamonds 22-25, F 12 Answers Aug 19, 2010

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We all have a dark side, and to deny that would be doing no one a favor.

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Trying to see beyond someone's immediate whims, for their sake.

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It means you have been listening to some cheesey music

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A lot of times, when someone says they are doing something in order to be kind to someone, it means they are not willing to deal with it honestly because it would make them look bad or feel bad...in other words, it's not really about being "kind" at all. Like when someone says they are blocking messages on their cell phone and email from their former love rather than simply looking that person in the eye and saying it's over. They say they are doing it out of a desire not to hurt the other person but, in the long run, it would hurt the person less if they were just straightforward.



I don't think we actually have to be cruel to anyone but sometimes honest words can hurt and that can feel like cruelty--but it's really causing less pain in the long run.

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being straight forward n to the point?

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For me, this is something that men/women have twisted into something which fits their own desires as I agree with @Brainyblonde.



People take it as a chance to tell people what they think about others, as if what they mattered really or they were God's gift to His world.....things about people's looks, weight, etc...yet they forget the more important things like love, integrity, good-will, etc....in themselves. They have the blood of God's own children on their hands and for what?



Then there are people who love us and seek the will of God, like some or hopefully most parents, whom when they are disciplining us, it feels like they are being cruel but in reality years later, we realize they were actually being kind.

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I don't think for one moment that this old adage was meant to interpret as it does ... in the literal sense. After saying which, I'm sure there *must* be some instances in history, curent and past, where this rule might be seen to apply



I do think that there are different occassions when we might be seen to be cruel, by some, in doing something to help. Grounding our kids when we believe there is a lesson to be learned can be seen (by our children) to be 'cruel'. But it isn't in the literal sense. There are a myriad of different situations where we might find ourselves helping someone and be seen to be 'cruel', but only be harsh definition and not literal definition of what we do.



If we take away the word 'Cruel' and change it to 'Harsh', then we get a much better idea of what the adage really means; in recen times, I have seen this adage using the word 'Harsh'. There are times we have to be harsh to be kind; from that stand-point, I think most would see how this could be seen to happen.



~F~

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I have to be cruel to men all time... It saves their hearts!!! AND sanity!

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I'm not sure what other peoples take is on that, but to me, it is kind of the same thing as tough love. Sometimes being hard on someone is what they need to help them out in the long run.

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I agree.. for example when it comes to giving advise to my friends i normally say things which may not be positive... but which will help them in the long run.

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Good q. it's like you can't always be a yes - man , sayin yes to everyone all the time , to be kind to urself is to say no to others sometimes for the benefit of u

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