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karma101 karma101 26-30, F 17 Answers Feb 10, 2011

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I know what pain of deception is , what I do is , commit the pain and the deceptive person into God's hands. I believe that God is a God of justice too, and the ex's hurt will come back to bite him for sure. People can not treat other honest people like ****, and be stroke their dirty egos out of it. If you were honest in a relation, and you believe in God, then just leave it to Him to avenge.

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Trust in this Karma will come back around, its a beautiful thing. Thats why I never hold a grudge<br />
I just sit back and watch as life takes its course.

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You're hostage to your loss... <br />
give up the past NOW!... or you'll NEVER have a future

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Probably not in this life. This world is a world that helps cheaters and the wicked to prosper. It's not until we meet our maker that we come face-to-face with the reality of what we have done. <br />
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I'm sorry you got hurt. I know that pain.

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I Promise U he will feel it, but he won't show it. What u do to someone else is always bound to come back and hunt u down.. I've been down that road i know.

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It's possible. He may even feel worse. In any event, nevermind, what he's feeling just be glad you're rid of him. Hope things work out better next time around. :)

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When you meet someone else, it will help to ease the pain. Time has a way of healing. As far as your cheating ex, he may just not care so therefore won't feel the pain. But some men take longer to grow up and perhaps later in life he will realize what he did to you. I'm sorry you had to go through this.

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So I have listen to this song since day one of our break up which was over two years ago. Still it has the very same effect on me that it did as the first evening I heard it.<br />I spent 8 years with a guy. Started when I was 21... and now I am 30. It has been over two years and I still endure pain in my heart.<br />The last year we were together, we were engaged...he wanted to postpone our wedding, saying that I had a difficult time compromising. Mind you... I just moved 350 miles to be with him. And prior to that made several sacrifices to enable the relationship since his career was not as flexible as mine. And while I would make excuses for him... in the end I feel like i loved him more than he loved me.<br />As I look back... I now feel like the fool, who ultimately lost more than him in the end. In fact, much of my soul and self-worth was taken along the way.<br />A recap for you...<br />During the 5th year we were together I left him, he cheated on me. 8 months later he came back and tried everything in his power to win me back. drove 350 miles once a week to spend 2 days with me for 2 months straight. He claimed he wanted to start fresh... as he also needed to clear the skeletons in his closet...so to speak. He told me all the things he did that he was ashamed of... he told me throughout our 5 year relationship he cheated on me over 8+ times. He also wanted to tell me how wrong he was and how he felt so much guilt along the way. After his endless tears and palpable remorse. He requested to talk to my parents, as he intended to man up and apologize to them for hurting their daughter (me); after all my family made him a part of their lives. My parents found it in their hearts to forgive him. As they only knew that he betrayed me once, as for the reason of our initial break-up. I kept the other painful information to myself. When he laid this news on me, I wanted to die! I was in complete shock. After 5 weeks of sitting on this knowledge, he really wanted me to try- go to therapy, work on trust. I was extremely skeptical, but with the love i still had for him- agreed to seek counseling. And things started to get better. I felt things were out in the open and we could build trust again. Mind you, my heart was scarred and never did I forget, but I chose to forgive, give him another chance and move forward. And I realized in therapy that once you agree to that- than you have to choose that.<br />8 months later he proposed to me- I moved 350 miles away from family and friends and was in the process of immigrating to Canada- therefore, jobless.<br />While I was there- it went well in the beginning. But after some 4-5 months it took a turn for the worst. He was disinterested in planning the wedding in which- we were suppose to be working on. I was the one that got the dress, booked the venue, talked to the officiant...etc and he really did not voluntarily want to do anything. I let him know how frustrating and sad that was for me as once again I felt alone and somehow not valued... and brought up the past saying... Why is it- you bent over backwards to win me back, but to plan a wedding and the rest of our life..you have no interest in? he denied it and told me I was unable to compromise and his ideas never mattered to me. He slowly started to shut down- denying me of the very things I needed to feel- SECURE.<br />Well months went by and he told me that he wanted to postpone the wedding. And he did, I agreed- but heartbroken as well. And I felt like a fool yet again.<br />The thought of me leaving brought him to tears and he begged me to stay, convincing me that the only thing that mattered to me was the wedding and not him.I fell for this manipulation (even though I should have known better...at this point he had known me for 7 years- surely a wedding was not the only thing that matter to me) I stuck it out for a few months before I started to talk about re-planning it- because i can compromise, he seemed disinterested and just "maybe'd" me. This is when I started to resent him. I brought up all the things i had done for him to show my love... cried endlessly as I felt rejected yet again by someone who was playing with my emotions. I threaten to leave several times..and still to this day, do not know what the real substantial reason was for the postponement.<br />After 9 long months towards the last days- he went out one night...called to say he was staying at a friends because he was drinking and did not want to drive home. The next morning...he looked me dead in the eye- kissed me. But something was different- I asked him..if anything happened the night before that I should be aware of. He looked at me and lied right to my face. 5 times of asking him because I was unconvinced...and nothing? then finally he admitted to being with a girl the night before.<br />He told me she gave him what I did not. I looked at him with numbness & tears streaming down my face and simply said I can't believe you have done this again to me. Have you no remorse? Have you learned nothing? After all this time you could have had a chance to redeem yourself and show me as well as others that you would never choose that path again- that you were above it. Yet you chosed to hurt me in this way....this very painful way.<br />8 years- I wasted my life on someone that made me look like a fool over and over again. And as the first year of our breakup went by- he e-mailed me, as I did not respond. Explaining why he did what he did, and how I basically did not give him what he needed. And how it was me that did not know how to be happy...he claimed he did everything in his power to make me happy. So therefore he was forced to self-gratify- even though as he said...I never meant to hurt you. But you have to put yourself in my shoes, as he said.<br />Then a a few messages and IM's over the last 2 years- but nothing more.... not sure if he is single or what, but I do know it was an experience I'll never forget- one that crushed me to pieces.<br />To sum it up- I look back now and came to the realization that I love him more than he loved me. And well that sucks too!<br />But in the end... I just wonder if this person will have go through an experience like this in their life. Because clearly he was not truely remorseful- as he did the very same thing to me in the very end. So will it come back to haunt him someday? maybe. Because someday I wish I could just take the pain I feel in my heart and pass it on to him.<br /><br />Thanks for listening to my story.

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You are a strong young lady and I believe by now you found some happiness. Its not a waste of time, however, you may mistrust the next one. He sounds like he has Peter Pan syndrome...google it.

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THANK YOU! Peter Pan Syndrome is the truth!

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I'm so sorry or your pain. I too was with a person or 6 years that torn me to shreds and then picked me up from the ground only too throw me back down harder and further. Some say he was immature. Others said he just didn't love me. I say it was evil and probably all of what others said and a lot of what they didn't say. We have three boys together and the whole co-parenting is hard at times. <br />
But I want to tell you something. You are not a fool. You are not any of the horrible things you think when memory recalls him to your mind. Please understand something. It's important that you really hear me honey. This truly has nothing to do with something you've done. You couldn't have loved him better. We each choose our own paths and they are hard enough to own up too as it is so why in the world would you take responsibility or anthers actions as well? <br />
I know it hurts. It aches to breathe and you can't figure out how you ever loved someone so much that could fool you not once but over and over again. The problem is you allowed yourself to swallow the lies because you wanted to believe that he loved you as much as you loved him. Here's the hard part...that isn't loving someone. Loving someone isn't tearing them down again and again. Loving someone isn't doing all the things that occurred over 8 years of time that left you insecure and in constant emotional turmoil. <br />
Moving on is hard. It hurts and its extremely scary. It's lonely and the one person you want comfort from is the very same that has made you feel this way in the first place. <br />
Forgive him. For every single thing he has ever done to you. Write it in a letter or simply say it aloud when you are by yourself. You do not have to give him the letter or ever even say it to him personally. But you have to forgive him to be free from the pain. <br />
The next part is the most important part of this...forgive yourself and start on a new journey to learning how to love yourself again. You were meant for better, you deserve better and there will be better. It will find you, I promise. It will take time so be realistic with yourself.<br />
It's a hard road to have traveled. I've been on the same you are on. God's love and peace Grace you everyday. I pray that you will know the love that is meant just for you. The peace will come. Hold on to faith and if that's too hard right now, just know that I am holding on to that very faith for you.<br />
<br />
Blessings....

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After reading ur story i feel so sorry and my heart goes out for you. you been thru a lot and i can understand exactly what u feeling coz i also been very similar experiace. I can completely understand how much u want him to feel the same pain he put you in. but i think it even makes it hard for us to move on(20 months away from him but still dont feel i have moved on)<br />
I believe in karma and i feel that one day everyone has to go thru the same they put others into. <br />
all the very best for future (((hugs)))

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I hope he does. He's not a man, but a child. What a loser, too. My hunch is that he'll get an STD. Did you overlook the signs that he was a loser?

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No he has moved on!

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I hear u waiting for my ex to get his he sleeps around hurts girls left and right.I'm waiting for him to get his...they never do

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You need to stop worrying about his pain and start worrying about your happiness.

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I Doubt it...cause you pain is your own...but you need to move on.

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Maybe yes, maybe know -- but for your own sake try to move on with the next part of your life and forget about the ex, remembering only keeps the pain alive within you

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No.

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Yeah, all dogs have their day.

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