Someone stole him.
He is an instructor for the taliban.
And he, the Grinch himself, carved the roast beast. That's all we know from the historical record.
He died from mold--wasn't he green?
He went on a long vacay cuz he thought the world ended the 21st.
He's at my house playing on xbox live.
By the look of the somber faces here in my house this morning I think he still exists.